Agreed to see the doctor again.
- Thread starter RM3
- Start date
Hi how are things going I met up with a friend for a couple of hours today it was so nice As much as I love being with my husband It felt good to be out on my own He went out in the garden today & mowed the lawn it took him twice as long as he used to take I feel so sad as he was always so practical Iām lucky that heās not depressed with the diagnosis heās always been a glass half full sort of person unfortunately Iām the reverse but know I need to up my game You never realise how good life was until it changes Hope you have a good weekend xx
Hi Bev. Thank you for messaging. All good thank you - still on quite an even keel (although donāt want to jinx things).
How have you been? That is nice that you met a friend. You are right, I think it does do you good and your time together is probably all the better for it.
Itās good that the diagnosis has not depressed your husband. I think I would say my husband is maybe a glass half full person but could spill it at any time. I think that is why Iām not too sure how much I feel would be good for him to know (should there be anything).
I am trying to encourage my husband to arrange to meet an old workmate. They tend to meet every 3-4 months for a coffee and a walk.
It is quite sad (I find too), to see things our ohās used to take in their stride, now come harder to them.
I am still not sure what the next few weeks will reveal (or not).
I have thought this as well so much these last few months. You donāt realise how unburdened and just - light you are, until youāre not.
All is well though at the moment. I hope that you have a lovely weekend too, hopefully with some sunshine xx
Morning. Just a couple of observations to put down.
Iāve been encouraging my husband to meet an old workmate (they meet up every 3-4 months). He messaged him a couple of days ago to see if wants a catch up.
So bearing in mind that Iāve booked the week off work as it would have been my mums wedding anniversary today and 75th birthday on Wednesday (which at no point on mentioning, has my husband given me any supportive words as he would have in ānormalā times).
When I came down he just said can you read this text (from his friend) because itās a bit complicated. It was (not to me), it had about 4 steps for a meet up (ask to finish work early on a week day, go for a walk, have a couple of drinks, leave his friends car somewhere and I pick up). I explained the suggestion and what he could say back.
(No mention of my mum or hug).
He then got up to leave for work and asked, will I be home when he comes back at lunchtime. I said I should be, Iām just going to the cemetery (thought that might prompt a response), to which he replied, ok, I just wondered if you would be able to make my lunch if I donāt do it now!!
Itās so hard not reacting. Normal for me if faced with that (being forum friendly), would be whereās my cuddle, are you going to mention my mum, is that all youāve got to say to me!
I know itās wrong but I almost hope there is an explanation for this. It would be so wrong otherwise.
Iām not feeling sorry for myself, all things considered, I feel quite strong. Just think Iām at a point where I need to know. I love my OH very much and I know he does me. X
Iāve been encouraging my husband to meet an old workmate (they meet up every 3-4 months). He messaged him a couple of days ago to see if wants a catch up.
So bearing in mind that Iāve booked the week off work as it would have been my mums wedding anniversary today and 75th birthday on Wednesday (which at no point on mentioning, has my husband given me any supportive words as he would have in ānormalā times).
When I came down he just said can you read this text (from his friend) because itās a bit complicated. It was (not to me), it had about 4 steps for a meet up (ask to finish work early on a week day, go for a walk, have a couple of drinks, leave his friends car somewhere and I pick up). I explained the suggestion and what he could say back.
(No mention of my mum or hug).
He then got up to leave for work and asked, will I be home when he comes back at lunchtime. I said I should be, Iām just going to the cemetery (thought that might prompt a response), to which he replied, ok, I just wondered if you would be able to make my lunch if I donāt do it now!!
Itās so hard not reacting. Normal for me if faced with that (being forum friendly), would be whereās my cuddle, are you going to mention my mum, is that all youāve got to say to me!
I know itās wrong but I almost hope there is an explanation for this. It would be so wrong otherwise.
Iām not feeling sorry for myself, all things considered, I feel quite strong. Just think Iām at a point where I need to know. I love my OH very much and I know he does me. X
I totally understand We were away for my birthday & my husband forgot I felt so sad as like your husband he has always been so caring & loving I still miss my Mum she died in 2000 We are off to one of the groups we go to this afternoon Which is good for both of us I fought so hard in my mind my husband had something like ADHD & obviously struggled with his diagnosis But Iāve now come to terms with things as it is what it is so trying hard to do things together Hope your husband is doing ok at work now sending you a gentle hug x
Thank you Bev. Your words mean a lot - thank you. It can feel quite lonely and sad (as you know) with the change in empathy. So nice to chat with caring people who understand.
I hope you enjoyed Saturday night and have a good afternoon at your group.
I hope to have some answers soon. If all turns out to be ok (which of course would be amazing), I have a good record on this forum, of things to ādiscussā with my husband.
Thank you for the hug - it was needed. Sending hugs and warm wishes back - Rachel x
Anytime We are just back from the group we definitely both benefit from it I know exactly what your going through Have you had the appointment through yet If not I would push I had to keep on to get things sorted You are I like me you love your husband to bits & whatever the outcome that will get you through Also feel free to message I know how speaking to others helps xx
Glad the the groups are helping - and it will be nice having that social time together Iām sure.
Nothing through yet but it canāt come soon enough. I know it hasnāt been long and Iām scared for the potential outcome but better to know.
I will be more positive after this week. We all have this but such emotional times.
Trying to stay positive and enjoy life as it comes but sometimes that effort is beyond me.
Looking forward to a week away with my husband and our dog next week, staying close to my dad, so lots of catching up.
Thank you once again x
Nothing through yet but it canāt come soon enough. I know it hasnāt been long and Iām scared for the potential outcome but better to know.
I will be more positive after this week. We all have this but such emotional times.
Trying to stay positive and enjoy life as it comes but sometimes that effort is beyond me.
Looking forward to a week away with my husband and our dog next week, staying close to my dad, so lots of catching up.
Thank you once again x
Hi, hope everyone is well.
We are still waiting to hear about the appointment at the memory clinic - hopefully will be in the next 2-4 weeks (as suggested by the doctor).
I work at a private medical clinic, so I decided to ask them today about booking the CT scan there (get a very good deal so silly not to really). He is booked in for 3rd June.
To be honest, I feel almost as worried about them not finding anything, as I am about if they do. This would leave so many questions and concerns unanswered.
It would of course be the best outcome - to get the all clear but the whole situation is so conflicting.
I have noticed that my OH has spoken about it a bit recently. He had said to me a week or so ago, that he would like a name for what is happening to him, so that he can tell work what is happening to him and ask for some allowances with colleagues (such as needing instructions on tasks repeating, or making mistakes).
Today, he said that he told someone that he was working with, that he has been having some struggles and is going for some appointments. He almost seems like he is quite resigned and accepting of a potential diagnosis. I donāt know what to make of this (as in, this does not seem to fit with the posts I read on the insight or talking openly by a pwd?)
Then I suppose that my OHās insight really is in relation to struggles at work and some memory difficulties. For me, there is so much more (personality wise), that I donāt discuss with him and I know that he would deny/disagree with. X
We are still waiting to hear about the appointment at the memory clinic - hopefully will be in the next 2-4 weeks (as suggested by the doctor).
I work at a private medical clinic, so I decided to ask them today about booking the CT scan there (get a very good deal so silly not to really). He is booked in for 3rd June.
To be honest, I feel almost as worried about them not finding anything, as I am about if they do. This would leave so many questions and concerns unanswered.
It would of course be the best outcome - to get the all clear but the whole situation is so conflicting.
I have noticed that my OH has spoken about it a bit recently. He had said to me a week or so ago, that he would like a name for what is happening to him, so that he can tell work what is happening to him and ask for some allowances with colleagues (such as needing instructions on tasks repeating, or making mistakes).
Today, he said that he told someone that he was working with, that he has been having some struggles and is going for some appointments. He almost seems like he is quite resigned and accepting of a potential diagnosis. I donāt know what to make of this (as in, this does not seem to fit with the posts I read on the insight or talking openly by a pwd?)
Then I suppose that my OHās insight really is in relation to struggles at work and some memory difficulties. For me, there is so much more (personality wise), that I donāt discuss with him and I know that he would deny/disagree with. X
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Thatās a good idea to get a scan but to detect dementia I think you need a SPECT scan my husband had a CT scan & it didnāt show up Itās good your husband is accepting that something isnāt quite right Has he met up with his friend yet My brother in law came & took my husband out today While he was out I spoke to an Admiral nurse she was so helpful & informative I know itās hard waiting for tests but at least your on the way to finding answers Itās sensible not to mention that his personality is changing Your doing so well I think itās equally as hard for the partner as the one affected Hope your ok & his work are being understanding Have a good weekend xx
Hi Bev. Thank you for replying. Thatās nice that your brother in law had time with your husband. Nice to get some time to yourself and not to worry because heās with family. Itās good that you find the Admiral Nurses a good support (I am definitely keeping that in mind).
I will have a look at this with the scan. 18 months ago, he had an mri which he was given the all clear on - apart from the neurologist (who was a little quirky), did bring the images up and say all fine and went through each one and then said wait, is that a bit big there, no no itās fine. We did find that strange.
This brought everything to an abrupt halt and my husband was embarrassed that I had got him to go through with it all.
The doctor said that she is referring him for a CT scan (I am not sure if the actual referral will be any different to that). I hope that the right tests are done because I would like us to be able to feel confident in an all clear diagnosis (should that be the case).
OH is meeting his friend mid June. It will be good for him I think and good for them to keep in touch.
Thanks again for messaging. I hope that you are keeping ok and have a nice weekend xx
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It sounds as though your doctor is taking you seriously I read there are as many people undiagnosed with dementia than those that are Whatever the outcome you will deal with it as though it can be frustrating I still love my husband to bits & we are gradually making adjustments together xx
Yes she has been very good. We have been very lucky with her.
I keep meaning to let you know (as you were asking if my husband also liked music - which he does), that we have booked a night out in September to see a Smithās tribute band. We both like them and it is a fairly small venue.
Has your husband had any further tests in relation to him passing out?
x
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Hi. I just wondered if others (pre diagnosis) have had the experience, that their loved one starts talking to people (everyone in close contact and not so close), explaining that they have got something wrong with them and they are undergoing tests?
My husband over the past week or so, has been talking really openly to people, saying that he is having struggles and is having tests. He sounds resigned to being diagnosed and I worry that it is making him worse.
Like yesterday morning for example, when we were dressing, he was half laughing and saying, what am I doing (when he was only half way through dressing) and losing things like wallet and keys but then saying his heads going.
We went out for dinner with my dad and when I returned from the bathroom, he was in full conversation about his difficulties and that he is just hopeful of a diagnosis and then he can get treatment.
It really does concern me that by pursuing this, we are manifesting it perhaps.
Would it be usual for someone to suddenly start talking (pre diagnosis) about this and be so ok with it. Would he have all of this insight (I know his insight covers memory issues and trouble problem solving, not personality changes, like lack of empathy).
I almost feel like I want to say to him, look, letās put this to the back of our minds now, most of this is probably just you anyway and a bit of getting older.
It would be good to know if others have experienced this or whether this level of insight, would likely me it may not be anything more than some normal struggles x
My husband over the past week or so, has been talking really openly to people, saying that he is having struggles and is having tests. He sounds resigned to being diagnosed and I worry that it is making him worse.
Like yesterday morning for example, when we were dressing, he was half laughing and saying, what am I doing (when he was only half way through dressing) and losing things like wallet and keys but then saying his heads going.
We went out for dinner with my dad and when I returned from the bathroom, he was in full conversation about his difficulties and that he is just hopeful of a diagnosis and then he can get treatment.
It really does concern me that by pursuing this, we are manifesting it perhaps.
Would it be usual for someone to suddenly start talking (pre diagnosis) about this and be so ok with it. Would he have all of this insight (I know his insight covers memory issues and trouble problem solving, not personality changes, like lack of empathy).
I almost feel like I want to say to him, look, letās put this to the back of our minds now, most of this is probably just you anyway and a bit of getting older.
It would be good to know if others have experienced this or whether this level of insight, would likely me it may not be anything more than some normal struggles x
