Agreed to see the doctor again.

[maggie6445]

That is a full diary @maggie6445 😊.
Bowls is something that I thought of for my husband. He has mentioned fancying having a go a few times in the last few months.
He meets an old work friend every 3 or four months for a walk and a coffee and they had talked about it. I hope if there is anything, that this may happen a bit more while it can. X

look around for a sympathetic club. I know of a longstanding good player that has been banned by his bowls club for his dementia behaviour. His family asked at our dementia coffee club if the centre knew of a bowls club he could play with. Well ,I asked at mine! Yes, they knew the man ,said he was a good player and asked me to pass the message on that our club would be happy to have him and said they'd keep an eye on him . They knew why he'd been banned and thought it unfair.

You just need to find the right people x

 

[RM3]

look around for a sympathetic club. I know of a longstanding good player that has been banned by his bowls club for his dementia behaviour. His family asked at our dementia coffee club if the centre knew of a bowls club he could play with. Well ,I asked at mine! Yes, they knew the man ,said he was a good player and asked me to pass the message on that our club would be happy to have him and said they'd keep an eye on him

You just need to find the right people x

Oh blimey - it could come to any of us. Hope they get better treatment if ever it touches them! X

 

[Bevhar]

Glad that you have a bit of an escape in the forum - I would have been lost without it these last few weeks.
My daughter’s do notice change but with work only see their dad once a week usually. Most of what they know, is what I choose to share with them (I don’t say too much as I don’t want them worrying too much until we know more). They would like him to finish work (as I did) but I’m glad he said that this afternoon about work. If the diagnosis is what I worry it is, I don’t think he will manage at work for too much longer. I think that if he is talking with them, he/they, will know when it has to end (I hope).
I will definitely be trying to keep my OH active (mind and body). Just so that he gets as much fulfilment as he can, for as long as he is able to anyway. I don’t know what will happen, if it is, with my work. I really need to continue but I don’t know if 4 days a week would be too much. I will have to cross each bridge I suppose as I get to it.
Do you think you may look at going back to the shop? It sounds as though you would like to.
I’m not at that point yet but I can probably liken it to being home when my children were little and the demands on me. It felt quite isolating at times. When I went to work on an evening, it was nice to have some me time and two way adult conversations. I don’t know if it feels like this perhaps? X

Yes I would like to but have also thought of becoming a Alzheimers volunteer It was my eldest daughter that noticed a problem with her Dad I just clutched at straws thinking could be anything even ADHD But if I’m honest I knew it was more than likely Alzheimers the diagnosis of MCI didn’t really make me any happier as I thought it was more also if the diagnosis had been earlier he would have had medication sooner Unfortunately I think money pays a big part of it As obviously the medication costs a lot I’ve heard other people say that they should get it with a MCI diagnosis It’s a minefield and you really do have to advocate for your OH I’ve seen Alzheimers Society do courses for carers they sound really informative I have spoken to our GP to get me some support I try not to worry my girls about their Dad I just need someone to help me to know what’s the best way forward I’ve not been to a carers group yet but I intend to go to the next one near where I live Wish I could go back to how things were 18months ago But the worrier I am I had other worries then As we lost our business due to COVID & our eldest was going through a messy divorce I now regret worrying about these things I’ve got to try & enjoy what we still have together as a couple I think I’m less positive than usual as I’m a diabetic & my sugar levels have been all over the place Also I’ve got quite bad arthritis I’ve had one knee replaced but I need the other one done & one of my hips Think it’s all been getting on top me But it’s a new week & we are off to one of the groups tomorrow Take care hope your ok & that your husband didn’t get rid of too much from the loft xx

 

[Bevhar]

Dementia coffee clubs ,dementia games , dementia singing, we do them all as well as me playing bowls.

The dementia things have been my lifeline. Information,shared experience ,support from those who have been there and from those going through it with you! Really am a big fan of them! They wouldn't have been my idea of socialising before but we've made good friends and we go to amateurs musicals , local music events, ABBA Sensation ln April! We go for cafe lunch once a week and one friend started day care with my OH so they see it as another coffee club.

My oh used to go to the men's shed but he can no longer participate and wanted to stop going.

I’m looking into the men’s shed for my husband Trying everything & seeing what works for us We go to our Alzheimers group
together tomorrow I never thought it was something I would do but we both enjoy it I’ve not as yet been to a carers group but I’m going to the next one near me I’ve read that people who join the groups fair better than those that just lock themselves away Trying to put my positive head on for the new week xx

 

[maggie6445]

I’m looking into the men’s shed for my husband Trying everything & seeing what works for us We go to our Alzheimers group
together tomorrow I never thought it was something I would do but we both enjoy it I’ve not as yet been to a carers group but I’m going to the next one near me I’ve read that people who join the groups fair better than those that just lock themselves away Trying to put my positive head on for the new week xx

👍 Being positive really helps. I know we can all have a down moment, we are human but when I look back I sometimes wonder why I got so stressed. . like the vest moment! Still can't believe I did it. Makes me laugh now

 

[Bevhar]

Yes it's the small things that bring you up short.
Yesterday I did a simple barbecue for OH and I and we sat outside in the garden enjoying the sunshine. OH, who was the gardener, contemplated the plants and then pointed to one and asked "what's that blue one?". Um, that would be a forget-me-not....

That sounds lovely a BBQ rather apt a forget me not I’ve been finding things quite tough but coming on here has really helped Read today about a young woman who lives in the same area as me She’s only 39 but was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few years ago that’s when I think my life isn’t that bad Just got to get my mind together & remain positive Off to the Alzheimers group tomorrow I really missed it last week as it Bank Holiday My husband enjoys it We are starting art group on Weds I always feel better when we’ve busy xx

 

[Bevhar]

👍 Being positive really helps. I know we can all have a down moment, we are human but when I look back I sometimes wonder why I got so stressed. . like the vest moment! Still can't believe I did it. Makes me laugh now

I’m not surprised we are only human & it’s good you can have.a laugh xx

 

[RM3]

Yes I would like to but have also thought of becoming a Alzheimers volunteer It was my eldest daughter that noticed a problem with her Dad I just clutched at straws thinking could be anything even ADHD But if I’m honest I knew it was more than likely Alzheimers the diagnosis of MCI didn’t really make me any happier as I thought it was more also if the diagnosis had been earlier he would have had medication sooner Unfortunately I think money pays a big part of it As obviously the medication costs a lot I’ve heard other people say that they should get it with a MCI diagnosis It’s a minefield and you really do have to advocate for your OH I’ve seen Alzheimers Society do courses for carers they sound really informative I have spoken to our GP to get me some support I try not to worry my girls about their Dad I just need someone to help me to know what’s the best way forward I’ve not been to a carers group yet but I intend to go to the next one near where I live Wish I could go back to how things were 18months ago But the worrier I am I had other worries then As we lost our business due to COVID & our eldest was going through a messy divorce I now regret worrying about these things I’ve got to try & enjoy what we still have together as a couple I think I’m less positive than usual as I’m a diabetic & my sugar levels have been all over the place Also I’ve got quite bad arthritis I’ve had one knee replaced but I need the other one done & one of my hips Think it’s all been getting on top me But it’s a new week & we are off to one of the groups tomorrow Take care hope your ok & that your husband didn’t get rid of too much from the loft xxx

Hi. That sounds like a very worthwhile role. I am sure that you will find whatever is right for you. That must have been a difficult period with your business and the worry of your daughters divorce. I too had to close my business when Covid hit. I think at least for me - that was for the better really.
I know what you mean about trying not to worry your girls - I have been doing the same to a certain extent. I think if my husband were given a diagnosis though, I will try and share the ups and downs with them (I think I would have to).
Sorry to read that you have a few of your own health issues to deal with as well.
I hope you are able to prioritise care for yourself too? I’ve recently found that I have arthritis in my left hip. I know how uncomfortable this can be. I’ve not really looked into much yet but I think swimming and jacuzzi’s help? If so, this is something I might try at the local leisure club. Maybe something to do together as well.
OH only got rid of one (huge) suitcase. I made him take it out of the car to show me there was nothing inside it 😂.
As you say, it’s the start of a new week tomorrow and I hope you enjoy the club! Take care x

 

[Bevhar]

Hi. That sounds like a very worthwhile role. I am sure that you will find whatever is right for you. That must have been a difficult period with your business and the worry of your daughters divorce. I too had to close my business when Covid hit. I think at least for me - that was for the better really.
I know what you mean about trying not to worry your girls - I have been doing the same to a certain extent. I think if my husband were given a diagnosis though, I will try and share the ups and downs with them (I think I would have to).
Sorry to read that you have a few of your own health issues to deal with as well.
I hope you are able to prioritise care for yourself too? I’ve recently found that I have arthritis in my left hip. I know how uncomfortable this can be. I’ve not really looked into much yet but I think swimming and jacuzzi’s help? If so, this is something I might try at the local leisure club. Maybe something to do together as well.
OH only got rid of one (huge) suitcase. I made him take it out of the car to show me there was nothing inside it 😂.
As you say, it’s the start of a new week tomorrow and I hope you enjoy the club! Take care x

Thanks this forum is a godsend xx

 

[RM3]

Hi. My heads not been there at all today at work. Finished for the day now and I feel as though I’ve not been ‘there’ with my colleagues at all.
I keep wondering if I’ve like manifested this or something?
I’m not clinging to hope or anything, I’m just wondering as well, if because I’ve been grieving for my mum, I might have missed signs of depression and stress in my husband from his redundancy. If so, this could have then escalated for him.
I’ve been very much inside my own head today.
I don’t want to say much to my husband - whilst he seems ok with things. Just wondering how he is feeling - like deep down feeling?
I am not feeling down at all, just really pondering things.
Hope everyone has had an ok day x

 

[Bevhar]

Hi. My heads not been there at all today at work. Finished for the day now and I feel as though I’ve not been ‘there’ with my colleagues at all.
I keep wondering if I’ve like manifested this or something?
I’m not clinging to hope or anything, I’m just wondering as well, if because I’ve been grieving for my mum, I might have missed signs of depression and stress in my husband from his redundancy. If so, this could have then escalated for him.
I’ve been very much inside my own head today.
I don’t want to say much to my husband - whilst he seems ok with things. Just wondering how he is feeling - like deep down feeling?
I am not feeling down at all, just really pondering things.
Hope everyone has had an ok day x

Bless you losing your Mum
So suddenly is so upsetting My mother had a stroke at 70 & passed away within 4 days My husband was amazing & that’s why I need to step up Todays been a better day we have been to a group together I had a phone call from our local dementia advisor She was very nice & she asked how my husband was dealing with his diagnosis He’s been brilliant about it no why me so self pity She said I’m very lucky Hope your appointment comes through soon I know you will feel better once you know one way or another If you get a dementia diagnosis you will manage to adjust I find we are both better when we get out & share stories with others If your husband seems ok at the moment most probably best not to question how he’s feeling Is his work going better sending a big hug x

 

[RM3]

Bless you losing your Mum
So suddenly is so upsetting My mother had a stroke at 70 & passed away within 4 days My husband was amazing & that’s why I need to step up Todays been a better day we have been to a group together I had a phone call from our local dementia advisor She was very nice & she asked how my husband was dealing with his diagnosis He’s been brilliant about it no why me so self pity She said I’m very lucky Hope your appointment comes through soon I know you will feel better once you know one way or another If you get a dementia diagnosis you will manage to adjust I find we are both better when we get out & share stories with others If your husband seems ok at the moment most probably best not to question how he’s feeling Is his work going better sending a big hug x

Thank you @Bevhar. I’m pleased to hear you have had a nice day and enjoyed the group 😊. The support sounds like it is quite good as well from the Dementia advisor.
I’m sorry to hear about your mum too - so hard in any circumstance but the shock of a sudden death takes some getting over I’ve found. Sadly my husband was not my usual rock (but I know he wanted to be). My girls have been amazing though.
I think it is just being in limbo now that’s difficult. Can’t talk about anything with anyone because there’s nothing to talk about at the moment - or plan.
Not long to wait at least.
I agree about not questioning. I do want to sit and have a heart to heart with him but I know that is not in his best interests - certainly until we know more.
At least if he is given the all clear, I can look at ways that together we can make things better for him.
He’s not been too bad at work thanks. He seems to be managing better in the room he is in now.
Thanks for replying x

 

[Ellie2018]

Hi @Ellie2018. That is good to know thank you. We have a very good doctor (hadn’t seen her before these appointments). She asked my husband if they can speak to me about his medical records or appointments. When we got home, she was good enough to ring me to let me know that she had received my letter that morning and had viewed it before the appointment. She said that she was just doing the referral and was also including some detail from this. I thought that was very good.
I definitely think that it would be in my husbands best interest (knowing him well), to only be told MCI if it is a positive diagnosis. The. He could understand then, some memory/mind issues that he is aware of. To be honest, he has not mentioned any of it since the appointment, other than an odd comment when I’ve prompted to see if wants to talk about it at all. He would be very gloomy about something like that usually and talking about what it could mean for the future and that his life is over etc but nothing at all. He has had a really good day doing jobs in the garden, which has been nice.
I think like you, the less said to my husband and in front of him, the better. Thank you x

It’s makes such a difference having supportive GPs. You see on here that it’s not always the case. X

 

[RM3]

It’s makes such a difference having supportive GPs. You see on here that it’s not always the case. X

That’s so true @Ellie2018. We have been very lucky to have been booked in with this one. Thanks x

 

[Bevhar]

Thank you @Bevhar. I’m pleased to hear you have had a nice day and enjoyed the group 😊. The support sounds like it is quite good as well from the Dementia advisor.
I’m sorry to hear about your mum too - so hard in any circumstance but the shock of a sudden death takes some getting over I’ve found. Sadly my husband was not my usual rock (but I know he wanted to be). My girls have been amazing though.
I think it is just being in limbo now that’s difficult. Can’t talk about anything with anyone because there’s nothing to talk about at the moment - or plan.
Not long to wait at least.
I agree about not questioning. I do want to sit and have a heart to heart with him but I know that is not in his best interests - certainly until we know more.
At least if he is given the all clear, I can look at ways that together we can make things better for him.
He’s not been too bad at work thanks. He seems to be managing better in the room he is in now.
Thanks for replying x

I’m sure he did want to be as much as my husband says I’ll look after you I know it’s hard for him now Yes I found the limbo awful His brother even asked if he could pay for him to go privately He has done so much for us already so I said no It wasnt too much of a wait As you say you haven’t got anything to discuss with anyone at the moment I do think it maybe worth ringing the admiral nurses Everyone on here is very helpful but the admiral nurses are experts & can maybe advise you Just to say whatever the outcome I can tell you will do what it takes as like me your husband is the love of your life So glad your husband is coping better take care x

 

[RM3]

I’m sure he did want to be as much as my husband says I’ll look after you I know it’s hard for him now Yes I found the limbo awful His brother even asked if he could pay for him to go privately He has done so much for us already so I said no It wasnt too much of a wait As you say you haven’t got anything to discuss with anyone at the moment I do think it maybe worth ringing the admiral nurses Everyone on here is very helpful but the admiral nurses are experts & can maybe advise you Just to say whatever the outcome I can tell you will do what it takes as like me your husband is the love of your life So glad your husband is coping better take care x

Thank you @Bevhar 🙏🏻 x

 

[Bevhar]

Thank you @Bevhar 🙏🏻 x

Hope all going ok for you We went to our first art group today & we really enjoyed it I’m trying to do something either on our own or together I’m going to a carers group next week A lady I met at our Monday group told me about it It’s in a cafe & they close once a month for us to all go there to meet up Had a stressful moment yesterday but took a deep breath & didn’t stress over it I’m learning gradually to just let things go The weather is nice here today which always cheers me up Take care x

 

[maggie6445]

Hope all going ok for you We went to our first art group today & we really enjoyed it I’m trying to do something either on our own or together I’m going to a carers group next week A lady I met at our Monday group told me about it It’s in a cafe & they close once a month for us to all go there to meet up Had a stressful moment yesterday but took a deep breath & didn’t stress over it I’m learning gradually to just let things go The weather is nice here today which always cheers me up Take care x

Really pleased you enjoyed the art group. Good you're joining the carers group too. And learning to let things go is the key to coping sometimes 😃
Enjoy the good weather, we've had rain most of the day .

 

[Bevhar]

Really pleased you enjoyed the art group. Good you're joining the carers group too. And learning to let things go is the key to coping sometimes 😃
Enjoy the good weather, we've had rain most of the day .

Thank you Yes I was so pleased when the dementia advisor rang & said I’m going the right things It’s all a learning curve but I’m really trying x

 

[RM3]

Hope all going ok for you We went to our first art group today & we really enjoyed it I’m trying to do something either on our own or together I’m going to a carers group next week A lady I met at our Monday group told me about it It’s in a cafe & they close once a month for us to all go there to meet up Had a stressful moment yesterday but took a deep breath & didn’t stress over it I’m learning gradually to just let things go The weather is nice here today which always cheers me up Take care x

Hi Bev. That all sounds really positive 😊.
It’s great how once you get out there, one thing can lead to another. I think that the carers group will be a great opportunity to share experiences and just to reassure that you’re not alone (like here but nice in person too).
Good for you as well for managing the situation yesterday - mind over matter I suppose isn’t it.
Lucky you having some sunshine - it does affect the mood I find. We have had overcast and showery.
All is ok here thank you. Things feel on a really even keel. Having a run of days like this, makes me question my concerns (not negatively but just wonder if things could feel this normal).
Lovely to hear from you and glad you’ve been to your art group and have made more plans too - good for you ☺️ Rachel x