advice please

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
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Southampton
i am very proud of my husband. he has just put the drier on for me, sorted the clothes etc. me being ill seems to bring out the best of him. he does struggle but at least he tries.
 

Eddcorner

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Aug 27, 2020
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Just caught up @jennifer1967 :( Toothache and abscess? Got to be the most absolute worst for pain and discomfort, haven't been to the dentist in decades because I'm totally phobic about such matters. Hope it's settling down somewhat as it can be really debilitating in the short-term. And so pleased your chap is helping out around the house whilst you're unwell, my mum just laughs when I'm off colour - no sympathy there as she reckons men exaggerate too much!
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
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Southampton
Just caught up @jennifer1967 :( Toothache and abscess? Got to be the most absolute worst for pain and discomfort, haven't been to the dentist in decades because I'm totally phobic about such matters. Hope it's settling down somewhat as it can be really debilitating in the short-term. And so pleased your chap is helping out around the house whilst you're unwell, my mum just laughs when I'm off colour - no sympathy there as she reckons men exaggerate too much!
thank you, maybe your mum has something there!! :) i dont go unless in pain. the anti-bios are making me feel sick but just persevere. its making sure i eat because of the insulin but ithink its a bit better than yesterday.
 

GillP

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Aug 11, 2021
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Glad to hear you’re feeling better and have enjoyed the support of your husband. So touching to hear that he has been there for you.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
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Southampton
im feeling so much better and he went to the shed today. he found a seat by the heater and stayed there.
my younger son has just phoned to thank me for his birthday card. hes coming down at half-term[he lives in kent so not local] with my grandson. this will be the last time for a long while if at all because hes just shared a bombshell that he will be moving to canada in the summer to live. his wife is canadian and he wants his son to be a canadian citizen. he says teachers are better looked after there. his qualifications are transferable. my husband wont really miss him as he makes very infequent visits but at least he was in the same country. its a bit sad but he has to have the chance.
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
That’s tough @jennifer1967 I’m sure you want the best for your son but it`s a long way away and I know how much you’ll miss him.

Im pleased you’re feeling better and hope the abscess has gone completely
 

Banjomansmate

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Jan 13, 2019
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Dorset
Well done @jennifer1967 , a good Mum who appreciates that her family have to where their heart takes them no matter how difficult it is to see them go!
My son has worked in Italy, Brazil and Australia but with FaceTime or something similar you can still see and keep in contact with them.
My difficult one was when, at the age of 13, he won a scholarship to Winchester College and disappeared off to boarding school, not something ever imagined in our level of life but I hoped it was the right thing for him. He reassures me now that it was as he was not getting the stimulation he needed at our local state school.
 

Eddcorner

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Aug 27, 2020
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thank you, maybe your mum has something there!! :) i dont go unless in pain. the anti-bios are making me feel sick but just persevere. its making sure i eat because of the insulin but ithink its a bit better than yesterday.
Anything to do with teeth sends shivers down my spine, much braver than myself methinks ;)
 

jennifer1967

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Mar 15, 2020
24,687
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Southampton
my younger son and family are moving to canada in the summer holidays. they are coming to visit in the half-term week coming up. he wants to discuss the move when he comes. my husband doesnt discuss and doesnt want to discuss either. he will either zone out or say something that is not as tactful as it could be. my son never saw him last year and around 3 hours over the week the year before. they have no idea of dementia or its limits. my husband doesnt even speak to him on the phone as he finds it a struggle. do i warn my son before that his dad wont cope? my husband has told me to tell him he doesnt want to. his dad is not his dad any more which if he had been more involved he would have understood better. i said that his dads memory is worse and he said that its par for the course. no feeling just cold. hes 35 so not a youngster.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,687
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Southampton
I hope you're okay @jennifer1967 . Is it possible to ask him to do a few jobs whilst he's there?

MaNaAk
not a chance @MaNaAk hes going to be here 11/2-2hrs tops before he wants to go and see my daughter. there is nothing he could do. the world revolves around my grandson and my d-i-l will be on her phone. really not interested im afraid which their dad picked up a long time ago.
 

Scarlet Lady

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Apr 6, 2021
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Do you know what your son wants to discuss, @jennifer1967 ? If the move is now settled, I‘m not sure what is actually left to discuss. Could you explain to your son that your husband really can’t deal with the details of your son‘s move, so any visit should be limited to pleasantries only ?
 

Blissy

Registered User
Jan 29, 2023
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I agree with Scarlet Lady that you ask your Son not to mention the move. In the short time he is with you general chit chat sounds the best way to go. Would you be able to find some time alone with him just so that he can update you on the move and say your goodbyes. Sadly it doesn't sound as if you will see him again for quite a while.