I lost my mum almost 4 weeks ago after a long fight with dementia. I ended up being Mums sole carer before she moved to a care home. One of my sisters caused havoc in our family and caused a rift between my mother and my other sister and her grandchildren. Even though she was banished from Mums life, my sister asked every day how she was and helped me make decisions. She was a great support. Thankfully she reconciled with mum a couple of weeks before she died and Mum knew her and showed she cared.
I organised the funeral on my own as my sister felt this was only appropriate as she had not really seen mum for 3 years. Not her fault. I was not and am still not talking to "the other one" due to the way she treated our Mother. She scammed her for money, i count around £15K, and stopped visiting when she no longer manged her money herself.
For the funeral I mentioned all of the family in the eulogy, in the announcement in the newspaper, made sure she had a formal car etc etc. I had mums ashes mixed with dads and divided into 3, one for each daughter. I gave her her place and considered her as much as was appropriate. I collected mine and my sisters share of the ashes yesterday. The undertaker called "the other one" to tell her and she was there within 5 minutes. She thought they had made a mistake and was getting all of the ashes instead of a portion. She was apparently furious. The undertaker called me as I was worried she would not bother to pick the ashes up.
How can someone be so vindictive? To have lost my parents ashes would have been the final impossible hurt. My father told me where he wanted them scattered. It is the spot where he first saw my Mother. For him it was love at first sight. As the last girl, my father raised me as his son. I am the responsible one, the fixer, the organizer, the strong one, the one who copes.
She has reached a new low. I thought getting a call from A&E when Mum was taken to hospital by ambulance and telling them "I haven't seen my mother for several months, you should call my sister" was bad. She didn't even ask what was wrong. She has stooped to a new low. I wish she had remained "invisible".
A big hug to all those in similar situations. We can chose our friends, but not our family.
I organised the funeral on my own as my sister felt this was only appropriate as she had not really seen mum for 3 years. Not her fault. I was not and am still not talking to "the other one" due to the way she treated our Mother. She scammed her for money, i count around £15K, and stopped visiting when she no longer manged her money herself.
For the funeral I mentioned all of the family in the eulogy, in the announcement in the newspaper, made sure she had a formal car etc etc. I had mums ashes mixed with dads and divided into 3, one for each daughter. I gave her her place and considered her as much as was appropriate. I collected mine and my sisters share of the ashes yesterday. The undertaker called "the other one" to tell her and she was there within 5 minutes. She thought they had made a mistake and was getting all of the ashes instead of a portion. She was apparently furious. The undertaker called me as I was worried she would not bother to pick the ashes up.
How can someone be so vindictive? To have lost my parents ashes would have been the final impossible hurt. My father told me where he wanted them scattered. It is the spot where he first saw my Mother. For him it was love at first sight. As the last girl, my father raised me as his son. I am the responsible one, the fixer, the organizer, the strong one, the one who copes.
She has reached a new low. I thought getting a call from A&E when Mum was taken to hospital by ambulance and telling them "I haven't seen my mother for several months, you should call my sister" was bad. She didn't even ask what was wrong. She has stooped to a new low. I wish she had remained "invisible".
A big hug to all those in similar situations. We can chose our friends, but not our family.
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