A life in the day of.........................

[Grannie G]

Once again I'm indebted to so many thoughtful and caring replies.

Dear Loo.
I can only imagine the time and effort it took you to send your support and share your experiences and for that I thank you with everything I have.
It's lovely to know your younger daughter visited. Especially after such a long absence. I hope she won't leave it as long before her next visit. I know how much it would help you to have more contact with your daughters.

I'm all right thank you. As long as I know Dhiren is comfortable, I will cope. And as long as I'm allowed some Imput I will manage.

Take care Loo. It's so good when you post, for it helps those of us who are concerned about you to know you are still able, however much the effort. Xx

 

[Saffie]

Such a sad photo and how wise of you to add it to your complaint. It will reinforce everything you have to say.I hope Dhiren continues to resemble the earlier photo and improve on it if possible over the coming days. x

 

[Sue J]

Such a sad photo and how wise of you to add it to your complaint. It will reinforce everything you have to say.I hope Dhiren continues to resemble the earlier photo and improve on it if possible over the coming days. x

I agree Sylvia and perhaps too you should include the happy photo so they can see how Dhiren is when his needs are met - a lovely photo.xx

 

[sue38]

Who would have taken the lid off the yoghurt pot? Who would have helped him to know the pot even contained yoghurt?

That was the first thing that struck me. Those blasted yoghurt pots are a beggar to open, how could someone with advanced dementia possibly manage it?

Has Dhiren got his new hospital bed yet, and if so how is it working out?

 

[Dazmum]

And as well as the wretched yoghurt pot and lid, how did they expect him to deal with all those different foods anyway? Loved the first photo, he looks snug and contented. I'm so sorry you have had all this worry Sylvia, and that you get a good night's sleep x

 

[Mameeskye]

Hi Sylvia,

Not on here often these days but try to keep up with your story.

Unfortunately Mum also experienced this in hospital 10 years ago. A young girl in for an investigation was a carer in a nursing home and she instantly realized Mum had dementia and took her under her wing even though she was not well either.

I cannot believe the nursing staff are not trained adequately in dementia, that given the average age on many medical wards is quite high! I am also sad that ten years on things are still not improving!

Glad Dhiren is back where the staff care for him.

Wishing you and your family a peaceful Christmas!

Mameeskye

 

[Grannie G]

Paul went today so I haven`t seen Dhiren.
I haven`t heard from Paul, so either Dhiren is fine or not, and he does`t want to worry me.

I will see him tomorrow. It is the Christmas Party.

Thanks again for all interest and support.

Lovely to hear from you Mameeskye.
Have a lovely Christmas and a Happy peaceful and safe 2014. I hope you have recovered from the earthquakes. xx

 

[Dibs]

What a lovely photo of Dhiren looking so comfortable in his own bed at the care home.
I hope he makes a speedy recovery.
When my mum was in hospital about 2 years ago I made a formal complaint via the PALS system as mum's treatment in hospital was awful. I found it to be an extremely stressful experience for both myself and mum and it still upsets me when I think about it now, but I am so glad I complained at the time and I wouldn't hesitate to do so again.
I hope you find Dhiren settled and peaceful today.
Take care.
Dibs (Deborah) xx

 

[flowerpot]

Hi Sylvia, I'm so pleased that Dhiren looks so content in the 'home' photo compared to the hospital one! A picture certainly does speak a thousand words!

The first picture brought tears to my eyes, you can see the love you have for him. (Sounds daft but I know what I mean)

 

[Haylett]

The two photos speak volumes: Dhiren clean, comfortable, at ease, and looking like he feels wanted and cared for; the other, Dhiren in a hospital (a place, by its own definition, of shelter, treatment and repair) looking unkempt, unsure and faced with food and drink that he cannot manage. This isn't even a matter of training - it's an issue of common-sense and care as a human being. Perhaps we are so trained in processes and protocols that we forget what is at the heart of caring.

I hope that you feel more rested now and that Dhiren continues to settle so well.

 

[cragmaid]

So a week on from this ghastly stay in hospital.....how are things going? I hope that Dhiren is stable and that you have managed to recuperate a bit. Stress and anguish are such drains on reserves for carers and carees.
Love to you and your handsome man.x.x.

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks you Dibs, flowerpot, Haylett and crag maid.

I can`t believe it`s a week since Dhiren was discharged.

He is still quite weak and sleepy, has periods of appearing to be quite blank and has one more day of antibiotics so I can`t really tell how he is.

I haven`t seen that lovely bright face for a while, but still get his greeting smile when I go in. Staff say he is eating quite well but he does`t seem to be drinking enough because he is sleeping so much. I fed him with a drink today. He took it well to start with but didn`t seem able to indicate he`d had enough so the last sip poured out of his mouth.

His verbal communication is almost nil but he does make eye contact.

My letter of complaint is almost ready to post. I`ve been awake in the early hours of the last few days , woken by gale force winds, and as that time has always been a good thinking time for me I used it to edit the letter.

 

[jeany123]

I hope Dhiren picks up soon , at least you get his lovely smile when he is pleased to see you xx


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point mobile app

 

[Izzy]

Me too Sylvia. I hope you see that lovely bright face again soon. x

 

[Saffie]

I expect it will take a little time for Dhiren to get stronger again but so nice that you have that lovely smile'
Well done on getting that letter of complaint done so quickly. Striking while the iron is hot can only be beneficial. Good luck with it. x

 

[kd7279]

Hi Sylvia,
Just catching up on your thread after quite a long absence. My Dorothy has just come out of hospital (probably the same one as your Dirhan) It's the 5th time this year, always with UTI.
I really had to fight my corner for her. First of all in A&E where they had her on a hard trolley for 6 hours before moving her to a soft bed (still in A&E) I had to remind them that she needed turning. She now still has a bed sore.
At least when she got to a ward I was allowed in at mealtimes to feed her, otherwise she wouldn't have had anything to eat.
I had to ask for an air bed, which did appear quite fast.
When it came for her discharge on Xmas Eve (I had to fight for that) The Ward manager said that she couldn't get through to the home for them to accept her. I got straight through on my mobile, handed it to the manager who then said she was too busy to talk to the care home. I passed the phone to the ward nurse who confirmed that Dorothy was infection free and ready to go home. I was then b*******d by the ward manager for by-passing the system and undermining her authority!
Dorothy eventually got back to the NH at 5pm on Xmas Eve, phew.
Just remember everybody, you have to fight for everything, they won't unless it's in their interests to do so.
Keith

 

[Izzy]

It's so awful that people have to fight like this. I worry about people who have nobody to look out for them. I hope your wife is settled and feeling better.

 

[Grannie G]

Good to hear from you Keith although I would have liked better news from you.

I`m sorry about your experiences with the hospital. I hope you have the strength to make a written complaint to the people who think we are now becoming a dementia friendly society.

 

[flowerpot]

Hi Sylvia, I hope you see Dhiren's lovely smile soon.

It makes me so angry the way people are treated in hospital So pleased that you have your letter of complaint completed!

Hope you have a good day

 

[win]

View attachment 38380

This is the sight that met me this morning.

And I was given such a warm welcome from the staff. What a pleasure.

It seems the ward has a bit of a reputation, as has the nurse who was so abrasive.

But it`s all over now bar the complaint procedure which I will attend to between Christmas and the New Year. Dhiren is back where I feel he is safe and contented and pictures like the one above don`t lie.

My stress has gone but I am very tired. Thank you for all the supportive messages and encouragement.

Hello Sylvia,
Just come to TP for the first time in months because dear Rose sent me a PM. I had to look at your thread and was horrified to read about your awful experience.

The sooner all hospital become dementia friendly the better why don't you consider either writing to them about the purple angel as part of your complaint or get Norm to take it up for you I am quite sure he or one of the Ambassadors would be happy to.

We are in 2014 soon for goodness sake and things in hospital and care homes should have improved by now, you sorry experience only make us all realise that unfortunately this is not the case at all.

I am so pleased Dhiren is better and smiling again I hope you too soon recover from this awful ordeal but until the complaint procedure is out of the way I doubt you will relax about it completely.

My thought are with you and I want to take this opportunity to wish YOU, Dhiren and all carers and cared for a peaceful and a "as happy as possible" 2014 xx