Thank you so much
As pre-arranged with me, one week earlier than originally planned, C came this morning to take Dhiren to the day centre.
He refused to go.
He wasn`t stroppy, he apologized for not wanting to go. He was reading about the Spanish plane crash and was very upset, so much so, he could not shake it off.
Then `I` arrived with the intention of staying behind to speak to me once Dhiren and C had gone out.
Of course, the best laid plans of mice and men.....
We talked about disasters and Dhiren was almost defending himself for allowing them to have such an effect on him. [he has always been very sensitive but is even more so since the onset of AD]
So C left by herself and Dhiren apologized for not going with her.
And `I` and I left him in peace and went into the kitchen.
He spent over an hour with me, discussing the ins and outs, and whys and wherefores of Dhiren`s dementia.
He wants to try part time attendance at the day centre, thinking a full day of activities is too much. Also there is a quiet time after lunch which is unstructured and where Dhiren becomes restless and anxious. Part time attendance would avoid it.
I asked if `I` thought it would help if I went too. I would have the cup of tea at the beginning of the session and `fade into the background` gradually, finishing up in the reception area, where I would wait for Dhiren.
And hopefully I would reduce my time there until I was no longer needed.
`I` will discuss it at the next meeting but was very positive about at least giving it a trial.
Then we returned to Dhiren who was unsettled, troubled and becoming argumentative.
`Why are all these people coming?`
`There is nothing wrong with me.
I don`t need monitoring.
I don`t need to go out.
I don`t want company.
I might have Alzheimers but I am not hurting anyone.
I am not going to kill anyone.
I don`t need hospitals.`
And to `I``s explanations it`s just a visit, to chat and keep in touch in order to make sure he doesn`t have to go into hospital again,
`Have you brought any medicine? What treatment are you giving me?`
He wants to live in peace.
He doesn`t want people coming in and out all the time.
If I want them I can have them as long as he isn`t disturbed.
I want attention, he doesn`t need it.
He doesn`t need to talk.
He doesn`t need to go out, he`s happy at home.
If I want to talk, I can talk.
If I want to go out, I can go out
But `I`s skill won him round to the extent that he is welcome to visit again as long as that`s all he does.
Both `I` and C are on holiday for two weeks so we are leaving it for now. But they are not giving up yet and next time I might go too.
After `I` left D was very quiet and subdued and is just coming round to watching the Olympics.