A life in the day of.........................

[lesmisralbles]

Dear Silvia

And now Paul is with him watching the football. I`m making them a paella whilst they view, so today should be good.

I hope today has been goodX

Barb & Ron XX

 

[Grannie G]

It`s been good thanks Barb. Even Dhiren says it has been a good day.

 

[Grannie G]

We had a good start to the day..........................

I went to the shops.
Dhiren watched the Olympics.
I came home and did a quick tidy.
We both watched the Olympics.
We discussed what we `d have for lunch. We decided we`d have samosas. I put them in the oven and told Dhiren they`d be ready in 30 minutes.
Then he was at the door.............
S `Where are you going?`
D `I`ve got to go out.`
S `I`ve put samosas in the overn for lunch.`
D `I`ve got to get out. I`m suffocating.`
S `All right. I`ll turn the oven down.`

and he went out.

After eight minutes he was back.
S `Are you all right?`
D full of sarcasm, `I`m fine. Absolutely fine.`
S `Do you want lunch?`
D `Yes please.`

I gave him his lunch and he threw it in the bin.

S `What`s wrong?`
D `Everything`s wrong. My life is wrong`.etc. etc.

So I walked away.

A while later he came to find me.
D `Where is my food?`
S `You threw it in the bin.`
and he looked in the bin and saw his food. He was upset he`d thrown food away. He had no memory of throwing food away.

So he said he`d have an omlette, he ate it and then sat with a face like thunder.

C and I came from the MHT.
They asked him what was wrong. He couldn`t explain. I told them he was fed up. He said he`d have to `grin and bear it`.
C sat with Dhiren.
`I` and I went into the kitchen. We had a good talk.
He thought there was a possibility Dhiren is having mild seizures.
He is regressing.
We discussed day care.
I told him how much I wished day care would work.
I told him my main concerns...Dhiren took a long time to get his act together in the morning and I didn`t want to wake him or rush him. And I didn`t want him to feel I was pushing him away.
He suggested trying a different day with more sociable people.
He will pick him up a week on Thursady, mid morning, and offer to take him.
I was reassured that if Dhiren refused day care he would be offered it again if the need arose.
We discussed my health. I still feel Dhiren must come first.
We discussed how I`d use Crossroads if it worked out.
He told me the Admiral Nurse was there for the carer.
He gave me time.
And when we returned to the living room Dhiren and C were chatting like old friends.

When they left, we were back to square one.
I chatted on the phone. When I came off the phone he said he had lost his VISA card.
We searched the house.
His card, his old red driving licence and loose change were in the the wallet of his blood testing kit. The contents of his blood testing kit were in a cardboard box in the kitchen.

He is planning to go home tomorrow.
.

 

[BeckyJan]

Dear Sylvia:

I am off to bed - but for you tomorrow is another day - and you (and Dhiren) will still be there. I am pleased C and I are so good - at least that must be of some comfort to you. I just hope the d.centre works.

What a wretched illness this is.

Love Jan

 

[Grannie G]

Goodnight Jan.
I hope you get as near a decent night`s sleep as you can. That`s one thing I`m assured of at least.
Love xx

 

[Helen33]

Dear Sylvia

Just catching up and read your thread. I do feel for you Sylvia because it is such a painful process.

He thought there was a possibility Dhiren is having mild seizures.

Did they say what made them think this?

Your lives are in the process of change but thank goodness the change can be slow and sure enabling you to sift and sort what is the most suitable help(s) for both of you. I can only say that I hope it will stay slow and sure for as long as is necessary.

Love

 

[lesmisralbles]

Sending love

Ron has slept all day.

He just got up - 11-15pm
Look's like it will be a long night

Barb XX

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Helen.

Did they say what made them think this?

It was just a thought from an experienced psychiatric nurse who has experience with dementia. I Googled it to find seizures quite usual in the late middle stages.

Of course it would have to be confirmed by the consultant but I suppose it would require tests of some sort.

It`s 11.49 and Dhiren is just becoming communicative. He has had a salmon sandwich and a cup of tea and is talking normally to me.

But he has no image of where we are, where the High Street is or where Paul lives. It`s as if he is in a building in the middle of space.

 

[Helen33]

Hi Sylvia

That's o.k. as long as Dhiren feels calm and safe which he obviously does. A salmon sandwich eh - you don't get them everywhere Let's hope he can settle to sleep.

Love

 

[Grannie G]

I can`t get him to bed.
It`s as if he has been a different person asleep in his own world all day, and now he is back to being himself and has just woken up.
And we have Crossroads coming at 10am.

 

[jenniferpa]

No possibility of YOU going to bed? I realise that sounds naive, but maybe if you went, he would as well.

 

[Grannie G]

Well sadly I`m wide awake too.
We have searched for lost slippers......found on the toilet floor.
He has been searching for his pyjamas.....forgot they are always under his pillow.
Is hungry.
But not sleepy.
But at least he`s friendly, rather than resentful unhappy and angry. Is laughing at his mistakes.
Looks like we`re in for a fun night.

 

[TinaT]

You are truely a saint Sylvia, wish I had a tenth of your patience and a small piece of your humour which always shows even in the most difficult of your posts.

............It is now 12.45am and as always after an exhausting day, I can't sleep! Hope you get some sleep tonight.

xxTinaT

 

[christine_batch]

When Peter was at home he would go to bed for about 20 minutes and then come down and just sit in the dark in the lounge.

When I use to come down, turn on the lights and check on him - wide awake and would want the karoake machine on.

Throughout the night it would be like that and when Jenny his Carer came in the morning, she would send me off to bed and Peter would be full of the joys of spring.

Do hope tomorrow is a better day for all of you still caring at home.

Love from
Christine

 

[BeckyJan]

It`s as if he is in a building in the middle of space.

Hello Sylvia:
I do wonder what your night was like and whether you are both 'fit' enough to benefit from Crossroads - I am sure YOU will.

I thought your expression about 'middle of space' excellent. David gets more and more confused about where he is - not knowing which room he is going to next. 'Where am I' 'where am I going now' are common whenever he is on the move (not often cos his mobility is virtually nil .

Today he thought he heard the speaker! - I think he thought we were at a conference! Yesterday he wanted to do change of address cards (been here 22 yrs and not moving!). The day before 'were we married, when and how long? .

Have a good day Sylvia - waiting to here your report on Crossroads.

Love Jan

 

[Grannie G]

Thanks Jan

We had a good night and Dhiren has woken full of the joys of spring.

He went for the papers. He saw an old man getting out of his car at the paper shop and it has given him an idea. He will buy a little car. His old red driving licence is in his wallet. We will start saving today.

He said when he gets the car he will teach me to drive. He is so excited.

Love xx

 

[BeckyJan]

So Sylvia: Wait for it - when Dhiren has enough money for car, you will produce the provisional driving licence application form - apply for test. REMIND him that he will have to do a computer test first and then ......

David somehow loses interest in driving again as soon as I mention the computer test!

Love Jan

 

[Grannie G]

I`m going along with it as far as I can. At least he feels happy and positive about something.

 

[Grannie G]

Crossroads

We had our visit.

I was tense.

Dhiren didn`t know what it was for. He bristled when asked what help he needed, said he needs no help and can do everything for himself.
He signed the form.

I was unable to answer honestly what I wanted from Crossroads and found myself speaking in code.

I wanted to say I would like someone to come in, build a relationship with Dhiren, and it would only be then, I would feel able to go out and leave him. And I was unable to say what day or time of day would be best until I had made arrangements to join a group of some sort.

So although I had self assessed there were difficulties for me during the visit.

But at least the person was welcomed.

She did say she`ll phone regularly to see how things are and to ask when I need someone to come in. So I suppose I will be more able to talk to her then.

So mixed feelings really. But no flak from Dhiren when she left.

He`s still thinking what car to buy.

 

[christine_batch]

Woken by the blasted telephone and it was the Nursing Home.

Peter has had a fall - split his head yet again, nose cut and arm. He is all patched up and I am so frustrated with this cold I am unable to visit.

I know the N.H. is brilliant and is in very good hands but so upset I can not visit.

Why when they are so frail do they insist on walking the corridor? A member of staff always walk near him but accidents do happen I know and with the state of his hernia were do they get the strength to carry on?

Christine