A life in the day of.........................

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Helen33

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Jul 20, 2008
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I missed the bit about the mood off cos I was too ashamed to admit just how much my moods are affected:eek:

Love
 

Lynne

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Jun 3, 2005
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Oh Sylvia, and Helen

It is SO dispiriting, isn't it. You abandon or modify your future plans/job/social life/whatever, You bend over backwards to make everything 'right' according to the individual requirements governed by this ghastly disase, and then it is (seemingly) thrown back in your face again & again with hurtful & unreasonable words.

And there's always that one thing that - however much you may try to suppress it - REALLY & every time presses your button. With Mum it's her anxiety about me going out that drives me crazy, STILL, even now she's virtually bed-bound. At 3 a.m. it's a real test of my self-control when Mum calls out for me, and when I ask her what I can do for her she says "Oh, nothing, I thought you weren't here." Especially when it might be the 10th time in the wee small hours ... and I've hardly left the house for 3 weeks. TP Empathy, but it doesn't help.
 
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Skye

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Aug 29, 2006
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Helen, Jan, Sylvia, huge sympathy.

I don't need to give you answers, you know them. But I know that doesn't stop it hurting.

Stay strong, you'll get through it -- I don't know how, but you will!:)

Group hug for you all,

Love,
 

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Helen33

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Jul 20, 2008
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Hi Lynne

One of the things that presses my buttons is when Alan doesn't automatically trust me. I somehow expect him to trust that I will be my very best for his best welfare. For example in the hospital when he was paranoid, I tell him to just trust that I won't let anything happen to him or us and I find I am very annoyed when he doesn't believe me but believes the paranoia!! It's things like this that affect my mood. I just keep thinking "why do I bother?" but I will always bother.

Love



Hello Hazel,

Now how did Mamma Mia go? Did you like it?

Love
 

BeckyJan

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Nov 28, 2005
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Hello Helen:

I totally understand your post about 'trust'. So far David has been brilliant about this - totally trusting me. So I do follow how hard it must be for you when there is doubt.

Hang on there - it may change (and its this b....y disease).

Love Jan
 

Skye

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Aug 29, 2006
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Hello Hazel,

Now how did Mamma Mia go? Did you like it?


It was absolutely fabulous, Helen. So good I want to see it again. A few poignant moments, well acted by Meryl Streep, and lots and lots of hilarious scenes. Can recommend it to anyone.

Love,
 

jude1950

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Mar 23, 2006
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I know exactly what you all mean about the trust issue! even in his much more confused state a snide comment from Jim can really knock me back and that old fealing of dispair even dislike comes back and I can feel myself switching off from him, The rational part of me knows its the disease but it still hurts.

love n hugs to all
Judith
 

BeckyJan

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Nov 28, 2005
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I think I am on the right outside (as always) smiling. :D

Cor Helen what a sad Friday night - looking for animations to amuse us! Even sadder for me cos I am not even doing that!! :(

Love Jan
 

lesmisralbles

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Nov 23, 2007
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Jan, sad Friday night

Come on:D
Since giving up work I thought my life would be boreing, after 45 year's of working, how would I cope ?

Bloody well thank you:D

Remember when you were a teen, another Friday night, and I aint go nobody -- boo- hoo

Well we might not have the body we married, but thay are still somebody. Oh Oh baby, shakea that ****, shaka that ****, Ron and I still try to dance round our room:eek: Ok, he shakes, I shake the ****:D
In the dire situation we are all in, laugh, you have to. I would go under if it were not for my sense of fun.

Come on, I would say party time, BUT, you are all so tired, and I understand.
But, I can still blow up a few baloon's, make a supper, come if you want. Light's out at 11pm.

Barb XX
 

Lynne

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Jun 3, 2005
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Barb, I'm sorry but

I'm pooped, so I guess that makes me a Party-pooper. Gotta go to bed soon or I'll fall asleep in this chair.

Have a good weekend :)
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Sundowning`s over

Dhiren is fine. he`s been fine for a while. So we had a chat.

He asked what he did and I told him. He was shocked. He didn`t believe me. Why should I make it up? How could I make it up?

So I have been instructed from now on. When he acts up and upsets me I must put my foot down and tell him to stop, NOW

And he will know.

Jan, Helen and Judith.
The lack of trust bugs me too. After all these years, and bearing in mind long term memory is still around, why is this trust so easily lost.:(:(
 

BeckyJan

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Nov 28, 2005
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Derbyshire
put my foot down and tell him to stop, NOW

If only! Thankfully your evening has turned out ok (I was worried that you were not online).

Trust - thankfully that is still with us. Its about the only thing that is. Bless - he is ready to go to bed now cos I am ready.

Good night all Love Jan
 

connie

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Mar 7, 2004
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Frinton-on-Sea
Sylvia, the number of times I had similar conversations with Lionel:

So I have been instructed from now on. When he acts up and upsets me I must put my foot down and tell him to stop, NOW

And he will know.

Tried, and tried and tried. Never worked in our case. He either would not believe that we had evn had that sort of conversation or he would just sneer in my face. Always seemed as if he was deliberately trying to hurt me.

Well he managed to hurt, although I know it was not his fault.
This complex illness, even now I do not understand.

Reading your account tonight has awakened so many memories, some of the incidents I would rather forget, and yet part of our short time together, which has to be special. Life can be cruel sometimes.
 

Helen33

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Jul 20, 2008
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Hi Sylvia

Dhiren suggesting you stop him reminded me of
We have lots of `proper conversations` then a chance comment brings me down to earth and makes me realize they are not `proper conversations` at all.

However, you can always give it a go;)

Off to bed now and hope Alan's eye patch is still on in the morning cos most nights be takes it off:eek:

Love
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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We went to the optician`s...........................

.........for a routine eye test.

Dhiren went in first, came out looking worried.

When it was my turn the optician said he reccommends Dhiren has cataract surgery. I said no.

Dhiren is terrified of hospitals. His eyes are better than mine. He is still able to read the paper at night, by electric light, which I find difficult. He sees bits on the carpet. He insists his eyes are fine.

I am afraid his lack of hygiene will result in infection. I can`t imagine he will agree to sleep with a patch on, and still feel, about this, he is able to decide for himself.

He said he will go to another optician next year as he thinks this one is too eager to operate.

I told him it is his decision and no one can force him to have surgery he doesn`t want.

He is so relieved I agree with him.

The optician said I should go in with Dhiren next time as he is unable to give any accurate information.

That is a downslide from last year.
 

Helen33

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Jul 20, 2008
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Afternoon Sylvia

I am afraid his lack of hygiene will result in infection. I can`t imagine he will agree to sleep with a patch on,

[/QUOTE

I am discovering what a nightmare the aftercare is and this is only the first eye!!

However, if Dhiren doesn't have the cataracts removed might he not end up blind? I am aware that you know far more about it than me but I was told that nobody could say how quickly these things progress (could be months or years):confused:

Love
 

Lynne

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Jun 3, 2005
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Sylvia

I think you are entirely right in your/Dhiren's decision.
He still needs to be in control of his own body where possible and, as you say, it's not as though he's falling over the furniture!
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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Kent
Dear Helen and Lynne

Dhiren`s cataracts have been present for years so are very slow growing. He has a condition which might necessitate a general anaesthetic which I believe can be detrimental to those with AD.

I feel the time may come when he is considered blind , as it was with me. But although I wasn`t safe to cross a road, I was safe in the house and relatively safe outside as long as I was with someone. It was only after surgery I realized how limited I was. Sadly I cannot make Dhiren understand that.

He cannot be persuaded to have the surgery, in the same way he will not seek treatment for a hernia or enlarged prostate. I cannot force him, I can only try to encourage him, but his fear is so great, it falls on deaf ears.
 
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