A life in the day of.........................

[Saffie]

I am sorry that your visits are how they are, Sylvia, and that Dhiren seems to be anxious about something. Could it be just confusion as to what is happening rather than something specific? Well, not 'just' confusion but I'm sure you'll know what I mean. Dave seems permanently worried, or in pain, or maybe frightened - it's so difficult to know when the words cannot be found to express the feelings.

You are so right in your approach to this and other concerns. If there was something that could be done, you would do it - but when all you can do is to comfort and reassure, as well as making sure Dhiren is well cared for, well fed and his needs addressed, you can do no more. Easy to write, easy to say - but harder to to endure. x

 

[Grannie G]

I think you are right Saffie, thank you. It` s confusion about his general situation rather than something specific.

I have heard of people losing their language who are unaware others cannot understand what they say and they continue to `talk` and communicate regardless. I feel Dhiren knows he is unable to communicate and he is upset by it.

It`s a tough time.

 

[Saffie]

It`s a tough time.

It is indeed. Sending you lots of sympathy.x

 

[winda]

Winda I had to type your name about 6 times. The flipping predictive text kept changing it to wind.

Don't worry Sylvia, I don't mind at all. I know how infuriating it is.

 

[Loopiloo]

It is a tough time, Sylvia.

I have heard of people losing their language who are unaware others cannot understand what they say and they continue to `talk` and communicate regardless. I feel Dhiren knows he is unable to communicate and he is upset by it.

I think Henry mostly is unaware that what he says cannot be understood. I try my best to get a grasp of what he is saying but if I get it wrong he can become irritated with me for not understanding.

Other times he is talking away non-stop, almost to himself.

What you wrote earlier remined me of how Henry was on Saturday when he was trying to communicate with me, but could not and was upset:

he is just struggling to say something , then stopping, almost as if he knows he can`t make himself understood, so gives up. I think this is what makes me sad for him. It`s as if he knows.

Henry seemed frustrated with his inability to get his words out. He was trying so hard for a while and then gave up. He wearily sighed, folded his arms and said "Oh what's the use". He seemed exhausted by the effort. Yet those words came out clearly. Naturally.

He did seem aware that what he wanted to say would not come out. He seemed to know. Rather than thinking he was speaking normally and it was me who was not understanding him.

I hope Dhiren is calmer when you see him, and that if it is a downturn that it is not too deep a one. Henry has regained what was lost after some bad downrurns, even although there has also been deterioration.

Not well expressed, it is a worry......

Loo xxx

 

[Grannie G]

Thank you Loo for your post. I really appreciate the effort it will have taken. xx

Dhiren has been slightly brighter yesterday and today. he is still struggling with language but his face is definitely more relaxed.

And would you believe it, we are approaching a full moon, October 18th. He has always been affected by the moon even pre dementia. I should have known.

 

[Helen33]

My Grandmother was a firm believer in the efects on mood at full moon. She even had some scientific articles cut out on this subject. Dhiren seems to be somewhat less tortured today and i am pleased for him and for you.

Love

 

[2jays]

What a worry for you Sylvia.
My thoughts when I read your posts was he could have been worried about why you were "missing" and wanted to find out how you are - but I know it's probably only speculation

My thoughts are with you. I do so admire seeing the love that you both have for each other.
xxx

 

[Grannie G]

I was greeted with a beaming smile today and almost self conscious pleasure when I told him I`d brought something special for him to eat.

One of the newer residents, who has settled well, after a confused and bad tempered beginning, is a knitter. I have gained her friendship by greeting her when I visit, including her in our conversation and taking her balls of wool for which she is extremely grateful.

She was sitting next to Dhiren today and said, “ Your husband is so much brighter today.”
I thanked her for looking out for him and she said “ I`m not a nurse so can`t really help him but I can keep an eye on him. “

 

[Izzy]

Ah that's lovely Sylvia.

 

[Noorza]

Sometimes it's the little things that are so special. The lady is also feeling useful when looking out for your husband, all for the kindness of a once stranger and some wool. So many little nicenesses sometimes do add up to something wonderful.

That's lovely.

 

[BeckyJan]

She sounds to be a wonderful lady. She is special now in spite of needing a care home, but just imagine her kindnesses in her earlier years. She deserves a quiet easy and happy life now so its good she is in such a lovely caring environment.

Sylvia - you did not say what you took for Dhiren today. I love reading what you have taken in for him and how he reacts .

 

[Rageddy Anne]

She sounds to be a wonderful lady. She is special now in spite of needing a care home, but just imagine her kindnesses in her earlier years. She deserves a quiet easy and happy life now so its good she is in such a lovely caring environment.

Sylvia - you did not say what you took for Dhiren today. I love reading what you have taken in for him and how he reacts .

So do I. And the wool was such a good idea too.

I think you'll like this...I rang the pharmacy today to arrange for my husband's and my own prescriptions to be repeated. Wanted to ask for similar amounts, so that they run out at the same time, but was struggling to find the word. My husband's voice behind me said " SYNCHRONISE". The pharmacist heard, and we all laughed because it's my husband who takes the Aricept.

 

[Grannie G]

I think you'll like this...I rang the pharmacy today to arrange for my husband's and my own prescriptions to be repeated. Wanted to ask for similar amounts, so that they run out at the same time, but was struggling to find the word. My husband's voice behind me said " SYNCHRONISE". The pharmacist heard, and we all laughed because it's my husband who takes the Aricept.

That is so typical Anne. It`s why we must never presume or give up.

Quote BeckyJan
Sylvia - you did not say what you took for Dhiren today. I love reading what you have taken in for him and how he reacts

This is the bitter sweet part Jan.
One of Dhiren`s favourites has always been my home made liver paté on rye bread. I told him what I had brought and he didn`t know what I was talking about, but once he tasted it he still enjoyed it although he didn`t recognise it.

 

[Grannie G]

Dhiren has a bad cold and another chest infection.

The home again called the GP out immediately but the GP prescribed antibiotics in capsules instead of liquid and even after a full glass of juice the capsule was still whole and in his mouth.

His nose is streaming and he has forgotten how to `blow` and his breathing sounds very bubbly. Nevertheless he didn`t seem uncomfortable or distressed so It didn`t affect me too much.

There has also been blood in his stools . It was red rather than black and the GP told the home to be observant but not to worry at this stage.

For the first time in the home he was isolated in his room but didn`t seem to mind at all. Several residents have bad coughs and chest infections and they are trying to avoid cross infection.

Tomorrow is the funeral of J who suffered painful cancer surgery in vain. He had no family so I`m going with staff from the home.

 

[creativesarah]

I am sorry Dhiren is poorly I do hope he makes a swift recovery

Thats very compassionate of you to go to the funeral you are a very kind person

love and support

Sarah

 

[Saffie]

I'm sorry to hear that Dhiren has a cold and chest infection Sylvia. I do hope he makes a speedy recovery. An chest infection is always a bit of a worry but I'm glad he doesn't seem too distressed with his symptoms.
I hope you are keeping well. I'm really cold, even when I'm visiting Dave - and you know the temperature of those places! x

 

[garnuft]

Oh, Sylvia...poor J. He has you and the others as testament to his life though, so thoughts of him tomorrow and all others that die without being surrounded by love. x

Red blood is better than black, could it be piles or a dreaded fissure? Troublesome but not so worrying.
I hope it eases and stops soon.

Germs and bugs seem to be having a hay-day at the moment, it's good that Dhiren's home are keeping on top of it, isolation means more work for them but the right thing to do.

I hope Dhiren gets better soon and you stay well. x

 

[Loopiloo]

Very sorry to hear about Dhiren, Sylvia, and I do hope he very soon inproves - recovers.

It is a relief that he is not uncomfortable or distressed, and also that you are not too affected. The care home are doing all the right things and that is always a reassurance and comfort, isn't it.

A man in Henry's wing was recently isolated with shingles and the nurses were excellent, and thankfully no one else has been affected. Although he is now back in the lounge, and sitting next to Henry.... I am just a wee bit concerned... Without cause I hope.

Red blood in stools sounds like piles. Has Dhiren been recently constipated? Henry used to have bad bleeds with them but since he went into the care home this has never happened. They give him a regular low dose mild laxative.

How sad for J with no family, and how thoughtful of you to attend the funeral with the staff.

Loo xx

 

[Helen33]

I am always impressed that the home always act immediately when one of the residents is ill. It is so vital when a person has dementia to treat at the earliest instance to try to avoid the devastating consequences that can occur once an infection takes a firm grip!! Needless to say I will be wishing him well and hoping for a quick response to the meds especially once he gas the liquid form.

I will be with you all in spirit as J captured my heart.

Love