A life in the day of.........................
- Thread starter Grannie G
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That visit warmed my heart, your husband sounds a lovely man. I long for the day I can say "don't be sad, life is good" Thank you for sharing.
Actually you have brought to mind a book I read long before the life of Alzheimer's, remember those days when a bad hair day or broken nail was the end of the world!!! lol. Anyways this book was all about 'Act as if'. I think I shall try today to jump out of my pity pot and act as if 'life is good'. I Shall keep you posted.
Bastan xx
Actually you have brought to mind a book I read long before the life of Alzheimer's, remember those days when a bad hair day or broken nail was the end of the world!!! lol. Anyways this book was all about 'Act as if'. I think I shall try today to jump out of my pity pot and act as if 'life is good'. I Shall keep you posted.
Bastan xx
Thanks eveyone.
I have had a tough time for more than 10 years. Better than some and worse than others, admittedly with pockets of pleasure, but tough all the same.
I would never have dreamed I`d be as satisfied with my lot as I am today and so I am truly thankful.
It`s all relative and really does make sense of the tag line I have carried with me since I first heard it.
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
And I will make the most of it because it could all change tomorrow.
I have had a tough time for more than 10 years. Better than some and worse than others, admittedly with pockets of pleasure, but tough all the same.
I would never have dreamed I`d be as satisfied with my lot as I am today and so I am truly thankful.
It`s all relative and really does make sense of the tag line I have carried with me since I first heard it.
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
And I will make the most of it because it could all change tomorrow.
Hello Sylvia,
Good to hear that you're better and felt well enough to visit Dhiren.
And what a perfect visit...
Dhiren is showing his true colours..his care and concern for you is still there.
He's a lovely man and I'm so pleased to hear that he is so settled and contented.
Love xx
Good to hear that you're better and felt well enough to visit Dhiren.
And what a perfect visit...
Dhiren is showing his true colours..his care and concern for you is still there. He's a lovely man and I'm so pleased to hear that he is so settled and contented.
Love xx
Dear Sylvia,
As I read down through your post I smiled. Wider and wider.
What a lovely point you have both managed to reach.
"He told me to go and have a lie down." Beautiful.
Long may it continue.
(It may not change tomorrow.)
Love, Nan XXX
As I read down through your post I smiled. Wider and wider.
What a lovely point you have both managed to reach.
"He told me to go and have a lie down." Beautiful.
Long may it continue.
(It may not change tomorrow.)
Love, Nan XXX
Dear Sylvia,
I know you treasure such moments as you must do. They are so sweet and beautiful.
xxTinaT
I know you treasure such moments as you must do. They are so sweet and beautiful.
xxTinaT
Dhiren was confused and unhappy yesterday.
When I arrived there was no smiling greeting, no pleasure at seeing me.
Instead;
D `Is any of my family here?`
S `I`m not sure`
D `I`m all alone. No one sees me. I don`t know what I`m doing here.`
S `You are here to build your strength up.`
D `What for? There`s nothing wrong with me. I`m going today. `
S `You have problems walking. You have to stay here to build up your strength.`
D `What are you talking about, I can`t walk. You watch me.`
He proceeded again to press his hands on the arms of his chair and try to stand. He failed.
D `How can I get better? I don`t see anyone. No one helps me.`
S `I`ll ask for physio for you.`
D `Have you seen B?????????` [ an unintelligible name ]
S `Who`s he?`
D `My brother.`
S `I haven`t seen your brother. I`ll try to find him`
D `Have you seen my mother?`
S `I keep writing to her.`
D `She can go to hell. What time are you going?`
S `I`ll stay as long as you need me.`
D `Will you sleep here?`
S `I can do.`
D `Good. What time did you finish work?`
S `Just now and then I came to you.`
D `I must get back to work.`
S `You are retired. You don`t work now. You`re too old to work.`
D `I`m not to old. It`s laziness not to work.`
S ` I think the best thing to do is see Dr. K. and ask his advice. He`ll know what to do for the best.`
D `That`s good. I`ll do what he says.`
It took me over two hours to make him feel better about himself. The staff said he had been low but nothing had happened that they knew.
The food I took was shrugged off as nothing special but the mango drink was `divine`.
I sat doing a crossword and reading bits of the paper to him, as I would have done at home, to try to relax him.
He was OK when I left so fingers crossed.
When I arrived there was no smiling greeting, no pleasure at seeing me.
Instead;
D `Is any of my family here?`
S `I`m not sure`
D `I`m all alone. No one sees me. I don`t know what I`m doing here.`
S `You are here to build your strength up.`
D `What for? There`s nothing wrong with me. I`m going today. `
S `You have problems walking. You have to stay here to build up your strength.`
D `What are you talking about, I can`t walk. You watch me.`
He proceeded again to press his hands on the arms of his chair and try to stand. He failed.
D `How can I get better? I don`t see anyone. No one helps me.`
S `I`ll ask for physio for you.`
D `Have you seen B?????????` [ an unintelligible name ]
S `Who`s he?`
D `My brother.`
S `I haven`t seen your brother. I`ll try to find him`
D `Have you seen my mother?`
S `I keep writing to her.`
D `She can go to hell. What time are you going?`
S `I`ll stay as long as you need me.`
D `Will you sleep here?`
S `I can do.`
D `Good. What time did you finish work?`
S `Just now and then I came to you.`
D `I must get back to work.`
S `You are retired. You don`t work now. You`re too old to work.`
D `I`m not to old. It`s laziness not to work.`
S ` I think the best thing to do is see Dr. K. and ask his advice. He`ll know what to do for the best.`
D `That`s good. I`ll do what he says.`
It took me over two hours to make him feel better about himself. The staff said he had been low but nothing had happened that they knew.
The food I took was shrugged off as nothing special but the mango drink was `divine`.
I sat doing a crossword and reading bits of the paper to him, as I would have done at home, to try to relax him.
He was OK when I left so fingers crossed.
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I am sorry Sylvia. You handled it well and I am sure Dhiren will have been comforted by that. Hopefully next time he will be in a better mood but its hard for you not knowing.
This has really made me think today, you are so right, it is not to be taken personally or complained about in that it upsets you or me or the carer generally, it is working to make the dementia sufferer feel better about themselves. Probably blindingly obvious to everyone else, but it feels very significant to me.
I hope Dhiren is feeling better about things today,
Pippa x
The hard thing for us is that what upsets our loved ones is not anything we can control. They, and we, are at the mercy of the disease.
Sylvia, I'm glad you were eventually able to reassure Dhiren. It's a testament to your patience and love that you continued until you did so, even if it took over two hours.
Sylvia, I'm glad you were eventually able to reassure Dhiren. It's a testament to your patience and love that you continued until you did so, even if it took over two hours.
Sylvia, that must have drained you. It's such a shame that Dhiren had a down day after the better visits you've had lately. I can but hope that the next visit brings a more comfortable feeling. Love Maureen.x.
Sylvia, I hope Dhiren is feeling happier soon. You handled it really well, as ever, but it must take its toll on you. I wonder if he is getting an infection. Whenever Dad has a very off day, he seems to come down with a UTI, or even just a cold, the next day.
At least he seemed settled when you left.
My Dad was found in another resident's room yesterday! This is amazing because he stopped walking again after his series of strokes in October and November. He used the zimmer that has been left in his room since then. When the carer went in to see him, he was gone! Then she saw him sitting in the chair of the room opposite, and he said he'd just popped in for a cup of tea!
I hope you are keeping well,
Love Sue x
At least he seemed settled when you left.
My Dad was found in another resident's room yesterday! This is amazing because he stopped walking again after his series of strokes in October and November. He used the zimmer that has been left in his room since then. When the carer went in to see him, he was gone! Then she saw him sitting in the chair of the room opposite, and he said he'd just popped in for a cup of tea!
I hope you are keeping well,
Love Sue x
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