A life in the day of.........................

[Grannie G]

The hats are in the living room now, just in case someone takes them.

I was making a cup of tea in the kitchen and heard him walking up the hall.

S `Are you all right?`
D `There was someone in the room with me. She`s not there now.`
S `Who was it?`
D `A woman. She was sitting there. I don`t know who she was.`
S `It was me.`

 

[Margarita]

If you don't mind me asking does the CPN explain what is happing, when he thinks you are a different person to that was sitting on the bed .

Is it to do with recall memory like forgetting he moved the hats?

 

[Grannie G]

I don`t think anyone really knows Maggie. It usually happens during sundowning or when Dhiren is overtired. It rarely happens when he`s OK.

 

[Margarita]

Oic . I hope the time change over does not have a negative effect on " D".

 

[Helen33]

Evening Sylvia

Now it's funny you should mention hats because Alan has taken an aversion to his hats He has several hats but one particular winter one which he looks good in and it is practical and warm. He has always liked it until I noticed that he refused to wear it to go out. I thought back to the last time that he'd worn it and he'd been out with the sitter. I asked the sitter if anything had happened and he said not that he was aware of. It is a mystery but he won't wear it

Love

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Helen

I think for Dhiren the hats and shoes are all about `going home`. He rarely goes out without a hat since we gave up the car and of course he couldn`t possibly go out without shoes.

But he has yet to start worrying about his coats, so maybe I`m wrong.

LOve xx

 

[Skye]

But he has yet to start worrying about his coats, so maybe I`m wrong.

Oh dear, tempting providence there, Sylvia? I hope not!

Love,

 

[ROSEANN]

Dear Sylvia
My husbands constant worry at the moment is keys and are the doors locked.
When we went to see my brother the other week all I had all the way back was have I got the keys or have you got them?
This was every two or three seconds until we had a stop and I gave him the keys.
He then went on to where are we? I told him Birmingham then he wanted to know why we were there.
It was a good job I had my daughter with me or I might have left him on the hard shoulder.
All the best
Roseann.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Roseann

A lot of these obsessions originate from insecurity, so are understandable in those who have no memory and are confused about their environment.
Pity those who have illogical obsessions.

 

[Margarita]

My mother could not find her bag the other day, nor could I , she got very upset with me , I tell her I can’t remember everything . She must have left it at day centre. She keeps telling me she needs 2 things so I say yes what the other thing? She can’t remember. I ended up finding her bag. She wanted to know where was 2 . Bag was number One, but what about 2. 2 mum keep saying? Where is 2? Then It click in me what she meant. 2 was her COAT ?.

 

[Cl13]

morning and the search is usually on, mum on a daily basis looses, bag, purse, glasses, tv guide " she doesent read it but likes a new one every week " some days she looses all of it, and other days she'll only lose some of it, but we know for sure she always looses something, every day lol Lynn

 

[Margarita]

You end up being your mother storage of memory, bit like a computer when it run out of memory , you add more memory to it. So we are storing all the memory of where they are putting everything into our memory bank . Only thing for us we can crash also like a computer does , with too much memory overload in our memory, not enough space in the computer .

That how I feel sometimes . so I have to take a break or other wise my memory not going to reboot at all

 

[DeborahBlythe]

You end up being your mother storage of memory, bit like a computer when it run out of memory ...that how I feel sometimes . so I have to take a break or other wise my memory not going to reboot at all

Same here. I used to reassure my mum that I would be her back-up memory. Now she doesn't realise she has forgotten anymore, or if she remembers she has forgotten, she can't remember what it was she has forgotten. I have to try and guess what it was she might have forgotten, which I expect a decent computer could manage, but sadly I can't.

If she asks me a question and I don't understand the question or don't hear it properly, we have a strange conversation where I ask her to repeat herself and she says adamantly " Yes" and then won't say anything else.
It's enough to send you round the bend.

 

[lesmisralbles]

It's enough to send you round the bend.


It is OK, been round the bend

I am on my way back from there now, in fact, just turning the corner

Barb X

 

[Margarita]

I am on my way back from there now, in fact, just turning the corner

That good to read, as the only way is up

How " D " Sylvia?

did you get a restful sleep last night ?

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Maggie

Yes thanks we got a good night`s sleep after the 1 hour ritual of shoe and clothes arranging, searching for his belt and making sure his hats were all in place.

I was a bit concerned yesterday as Dhiren seemed very `frail`. It`s the only way I can describe it.

What is happening with your mother Maggie?

 

[Margarita]

pleased to read that you got good night sleep .

`frail`. It`s the only way I can describe it.

I can understand that, as I saw that in my mother also over time .



I was typing a way on Talking point, then look at the time 11:15, Social worker had not arrived around my place as per arrange at 11:00 to do a report with me, that needs to be presented to a panel .

I phone her department up appointment was in her book, she had already left to come to my place. When she arrived at 11:30 she was stuck in traffic

The E4 pages went on forever that needed to be filling in. I had to say why I feel mum needs are now nursing, I had to go into every detail, in what wrong with mum also physical, that when she ask me again for the 2nd time the same question why do I feel mum needs are nursing as the question do repeat themselves, an anxiety attack hits me .

I said mum needs are to challenging to complex, for normal Dementia home.
Then the guilty monster hits me with the anxiety attack of the reality of what I am doing putting mum in nursing home. I tell her I don't really want mum in a home, she tell me

“Now Maggie don't go changing you mind”.

I tell social worker “I know I am doing the right thing, but the thought of it being up an anxiety attack (I have no cigarette in the house to take it away)

I never told her with the thought of the anxiety attack was that mum needs locking up on a floor.

Anyway she tells me when she gets other report back from AZ day centre, dementia memory nurse, doctor report always take longer. They can do it without his report anyway when it all go to a panel. She not the manger, but she knows it all go ahead to mum to be put in ether of the 2 nursing home I want mum to go to , She on holiday on the 24 of this mouth for 3 weeks . It’s all moving forward , may be slowly , I know it’s going to happen , I am not stressing to rush it forward faster as I know it is going to happen.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I said mum needs are to challenging to complex, for normal Dementia home.
Then the guilty monster hits me with the anxiety attack of the reality of what I am doing putting mum in nursing home. I tell her I don't really want mum in a home, she tell me

“Now Maggie don't go changing you mind”.

I tell social worker “I know I am doing the right thing, but the thought of it being up an anxiety attack (I have no cigarette in the house to take it away)

I never told her with the thought of the anxiety attack was that mum needs locking up on a floor.

Maggie, yes, you are doing the right thing. No, do not change your mind - you know you'll have a few people here to explain it to . You know it's the guilt monster. It will be very hard at first, I won't lie to you. But you have many things to consider, your health and your children for starters. You've made the decision, don't backtrack now.

Love,

 

[Margarita]

your health and your children for starters. You've made the decision, don't backtrack now.

I won't am glad I have you all to share it with, also me recognize cognitively that I can keep sinking back in time.

I use to think that I would do it when mum has no recognition of her surrounding, or me but I am not looking at AZ I am now looking at vascular dementia stages are different, even as fail as my mother is her behavior are just to challenging for me, her temper shouting screaming is just getting to much for me to cope with , she also going to go blind because of her cataract,doctor has told me this , as she won’t can’t have an operation..

Social worker tell me it’s in my mother best interest to have this operation, even if my mother does not believe it to be so while I tell her yes your right . but also putting mum under completely can affect her dementia so that would not be in her best interest , so its best done in a nursing home environment . I could not cope with it.

 

[DeborahBlythe]

Sorry to hear about your mum's cataracts Maggie. It's not fair, is it?