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A life in the day of.........................

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Grannie G, Jun 4, 2007.

  1. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hello Helen:
    Re Crossroads: They have had an office in Bakewell for 1/2 yrs - we have even contributed towards their charity events. But, guess what, its out of our area.

    Help the Aged work around us, but David is no longer 'suitable' for their sitters :eek: Admiral Nurses work in Manchester district. Our local Alz. Society office has a very good Organiser/Administrator but her role seems to be advisory; she does not visit. I only see her if we go to the Alz. cafes and now David is virtually homebound that is impossible.

    So lovely though the High Peak is, it seems out of bounds when help is needed for Dementia sufferers.

    My main help comes from the local surgery and from the Mental Health Ward where David goes for respite. Also, thank God for good friends.

    Love Jan
     
  2. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    229
    Birmingham
    :)Hi Sylvia. Had to look to see if things was better for you today. So glad you have so much suport for you both. [Hugs]Jan x
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,078
    Kent
    Thank you so much

    As luck would have it we have had a very good day today, not even a hint of sundowning.
    One day at a time...........:)

    Connie, Dhiren`s mood swings are precisely that, mood swings.

    Love xx
     
  4. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    Sylvia, I am so glad that you both had a good day.

    I am now going to bed because I am shattered after another busy day. Tomorrow I have to finish making what seems like miles and miles of curtains. I made the mistake of buying linings that are 108 cms wide instead of the usual 54 cms, so it makes it tricky and very heavy work.

    Hope tomorrow is good too:)

    Love
     
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,078
    Kent
    Thank you Helen.

    All credit to you for making your own curtains. I can`t even take mine down to be dry cleaned. :rolleyes:
    Sleep well Helen.
    Love xx
     
  6. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    777
    North Wales
    Hello Sylvia,

    Just popped in to see how you and Dhiren are doing.

    Feels as though I have never stopped reading with your accounts and all those lovely people responding.

    Feel so out of touch now reading your reports and the replies that mean so much to each one of you.

    Bless you all for what you are doing.

    With love,
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,078
    Kent
    Hello Cliff

    Thank you for popping in, it`s lovely to hear from you.

    How are you?

    Love xx
     
  8. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    777
    North Wales
    Fine thank you Sylvia.

    Just keeping very busy,

    Love to you and Dhiren,
     
  9. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    It was lovely to see Cliff on TP again.

    Your posts regarding Dhiren are great as a message board to inform Terry of the difficulties you face. I find it valuable to hear how you and others cope with this wretched disease.

    Have you had a reasonable weekend?

    Love Jan
     
  10. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Beckyjan, I second your comment:

    Love n'hugs to all.
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,078
    Kent
    We have had two very peaceful days with no sundowning.

    Last night Dhiren said, `You are here, Paul is here, I don`t know why I want to go home. This is home. I have decided I`m not going anywhere, I`m staying here.`

    For now. :) But it was good to hear. :)
     
  12. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    That's brilliant, Sylvia!

    I hope it continues.:)

    Love,
     
  13. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    I am sure it was Sylvia., and best of all he meant it.
    Hang on to that thought.
     
  14. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    777
    North Wales
    Dear Sylvia, as Connie so rightly says:

    Hang onto that.

    Love to you, Dhiren and Paul,
     
  15. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,078
    Kent
    Surgery appointment

    We had appointments this morning with the practice nurse at the GP`s surgery. For me, it was for a BP check. For Dhiren it was for blood and urine tests [fasting]

    Dhiren was anxious. He was struggling to dress. I offered help with socks and shoes but had my head bitten off.
    `Don`t mollycoddle me. I`m not a baby. I can dress myself.`

    I heard him at the fridge.
    S `You can only have water. It`s a fasting test.`
    D `I`m having milk. Milk`s drink, not food.`
    S `Milk is food, sorry.`
    D `You know everything.`

    Then....
    D `Are you coming too?`
    S `WE both have appointments, so yes, I am going too.`
    D `Are we seeing the doctor?`
    S `No. We are seeing the nurse.`
    D `Are we coming back home?`

    He kept checking who we were seeing, seeming to prefer the nurse to the doctor, and whether or not we were returning home afterwards.

    While waiting for the taxi he was unsteady, distressed, anxious.
    S `You are not well are you.`
    D `No. This isn`t sundowning. Sundowning is at night.`

    He is obviously very frightened of doctors now. What does he think they are going to do to him?
     
  16. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    Dear Sylvia

     
  17. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,078
    Kent
    No Helen

    Dhiren is very low, feels he has come to the end of worthwhile life and says he wants to die.

    As he was enjoying his lunch, I told him he doesn`t really want to die, he is just fed up.

    I distracted him with a bit of Boris Johnson at the Conservative Party Conference, which worked for a while, but now he is asleep or pretending to sleep.
     
  18. Helen33

    Helen33 Registered User

    Jul 20, 2008
    14,697
    Hi Sylvia

    It is interesting that Dhiren differentiates between seeing nurses and doctors. Do you think he might be afraid that the doctors will agree with him in how he's feeling:eek::eek:

    There have been some right old hee-haws on TP over the weekend and it is making me a bit nervous to post anything other than what might be termed 'safe'.

    I hope that you came through your BP test with flying colours:)

    Love
     
  19. gigi

    gigi Registered User

    Nov 16, 2007
    7,788
    East Midlands
    Hello Sylvia,

    I remember Eric going through a phase of wanting to die...just after diagnosis..when he was told he could no longer drive.

    I used to say to him.." You can't die....what would I do without you..."

    Of course it might not work with Dhiren.....

    I hope he picks up soon...it is hard to live with...but he must be feeling pretty low..

    Love gigi xx
     
  20. twinone

    twinone Registered User

    May 19, 2008
    269
    england
    Hi Sylvia

    So sorry Dhiren feels so low at the moment.

    How are you feeling? I know how upset you must feel when he says he wants to die.

    It just goes to show how much insight he still has.

    Hope you have both recovered from the visit to the doctors.

    Thinking of you both

    Love Janet
     
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