Say hello and introduce yourself

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @Peachieperfect and welcome to Dementia Support Forum. This is a great place to ask questions, join conversations, learn from the experience of others, share with people who truly understand and let off steam. I hope that you'll find support here when you need it.

 

[Wef]

Hi, I'm a fluffy blanket whose husband has vascular dementia, middle to late stage. He had a stroke and having recovered slightly, he developed vascular dementia. He is at the incoherent babbling stage (all night long), doesn't walk well at all, can't perform basic functions of living and his daytime speech is reducing and difficult to understand. His appetite is reducing from having always been a chap who loved his food.

We have two small dogs, and an adult son who lives in the same town as us.

I like to cross stitch (although I don't get the time any more), and crochet (ditto) and reading is a lost art because I don't get enough time to get into a book. I do have talking books but I tend to use those to drown out the night time babbling (I check at intervals that he doesn't need actual help with anything) and that way I can doze sometimes.

And that's us at the moment....

Hello Fluffy Blanket, I just joined this forum as my mum has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers. So far so good! I hope you have had some good chats

 

[raron]

HI there my mum has Dementia but at the moment things have rapidly declined..she had started phoning us (her 3 daughters) all through the night asking when we are picking her up to take her home...but she is at home.. she has started to now pack up the whole bungalow into bags ready to go home...such a worry and seems to be escalating so fast.

Sounds identical to my mum , its exhausting explaining she's home and all the unpacking of random stuff 😣. She actually walked to a friends house at 4.30am 😳 with packed bags . So phone calls from her through the night and from friends who don't want visits at this time... not sure how my rant helps , but you're not alone .
.

 

[SeaSwallow]

Sounds identical to my mum , its exhausting explaining she's home and all the unpacking of random stuff 😣. She actually walked to a friends house at 4.30am 😳 with packed bags . So phone calls from her through the night and from friends who don't want visits at this time... not sure how my rant helps , but you're not alone .
.

Hello @raron and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I am sorry to read about your mum and her confusion about where she lives. This is quite common as dementia progresses. The fact that she has started to wander at night is concerning and is usually considered to be a sign that it is perhaps time for full time residential care. I realise this may be something you do not want to consider but it might be the only way to keep her safe.

 

[raron]

Hello @raron and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I am sorry to read about your mum and her confusion about where she lives. This is quite common as dementia progresses. The fact that she has started to wander at night is concerning and is usually considered to be a sign that it is perhaps time for full time residential care. I realise this may be something you do not want to consider but it might be the only way to keep her safe.

 

[raron]

Thanks for your response ,..I think that's next step as she also keeps falling and I'm struggling even to get her up. It's just all a bit daunting as we have to get social services assessment done first , which I think will be another big hurdle 😣

 

[Linzie Stewart]

Hi, I'm Linzie, my Mum has Dementia, she's still mobile, but struggles. I live with Mum and Dad. We live in East Belfast

 

[Mikydiddle]

Hi my name is Mike, I have vascular dementia and Altzimers had it for about 3years now, trying to fight it, doing puzzles and reading, memory terrible also get very tired but don’t sleep well at night normally up about 3am, but still don’t want to give in to it

 

[August Ducks]

Hi
My mum has mid to late stage FTD, she lives in a care home because of her high care needs. My Dad is struggling on his own, he has psychosis at the moment, I am so grateful that I know that Mum is being looked after (& sad that I can’t be the one caring for her all the time)

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @August Ducks.

I’m so sorry to read about your mum and dad. It really is heartbreaking. I’m glad you’ve found this forum and hope you find some comfort from being part of it. I know you will find understanding and support here.

 

[Louise7]

Hi, I'm Linzie, my Mum has Dementia, she's still mobile, but struggles. I live with Mum and Dad. We live in East Belfast

Hello Linzie, welcome. It's good that you've found us as this is a friendly and supportive group and there's a lot of good advice available here too.

 

[Louise7]

Hi my name is Mike, I have vascular dementia and Altzimers had it for about 3years now, trying to fight it, doing puzzles and reading, memory terrible also get very tired but don’t sleep well at night normally up about 3am, but still don’t want to give in to it

Hello Mike and welcome, you will receive support here from people who understand. Sorry to hear that you are not sleeping very well at night, perhaps a chat with your GP about this might be helpful?

 

[MK Thompson]

Hello from Kansas. I am 60 years old and only recently became my mother’s full time carer. She is 88. Moderate-severe stage. My father who is 89 could no longer provide the quality care she needs. He still wants to have her for 1-2 overnights a week and I do not feel this would set well for her. He has never accepted that she has dementia but that she is merely aging. What have others done in my situation? Is it healthy to move my mother between two different environments?

 

[special 1]

My lifelong friend has dementia. She lived alone and managed ok with me visiting daily. She developed an infection and was admitted to hospital. From hospital she went to live with her son and daughter in law and they want her to go into care home. They have not discussed this with my friend. They say that there is no point in her going back to her own home as she could not cope. She seems to recognise me but then says that she has not seen me for a long time. Does not recognise son or DIL. I find the prospect of her going into care home very upsetting and would love family to let her stay in their home where she is very content and needs little care apart from meals prepared and guidance around their home. Son and wife are retired but have a good social life. They are lovely people but find the care too much.

Yes I believe all of what you say about your friend being looked after with her family. As you say they might be lovely people, but........... they sound like they are very selfish with not wanting to help out. It is like Dementia has a stigma attached to it. I have also come across that with certain members of my family. Take care.😆🤔🤔🤔

 

[Mrs Temple]

Hi, my name is Ella and my husband has recently been diagnosed with "early stage Vascular Dementia and Alzheimers.
He is currently living alone in his flat in London but I and my daughters are in the process of finding him a flat in an Assisted Living setting nearby to us in West Yorkshire.

 

[Louise7]

Hello Ella / @Mrs Temple welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. Sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis but it's good that you've found us as there is lots of friendly support here from people who understand and are happy to provide advice and suggestions when needed.

 

[AML2023]

Hi there! My mum is 84 has dementia (diagnosed in 2015). She has been living with me and my partner and son since early 2016 when my dad passed away. She was really good for a long time and we made sure she ate well and did exercise. It seemed to keep things at bay.

However, the last year or so things have become very difficult. She has become obsessed with toilet tissue and eating anything she can get her hands on. She often makes herself ill by eating food that hasn't been prepared properly, or mush from the recycling bin. We now have locks on the fridge, freezer and cupboards, and she has her own small fridge where we keep safe things in sensible amounts for her. The recycling bin is now kept outside.

Her hygiene has become really bad. It is quite shocking. Sometimes she uses hand towels instead of toilet tissue, so that she can save the tissue. Today I noticed that both the socks she was wearing were covered in poo! It is horrifying.

I phoned social services before Christmas because I need help to keep her safe. We all work so it has been such a juggle. We are waiting for a case worker to be allocated to assess her.

My mum used to be so brilliant and amazing. I now spend so much time trying to teach her everything that she tought me. My partner and son try to help, but as soon as we solve one problem, another pops up.

She is so sweet and we love her so much. But she is getting so fed up of being constantly pulled up on basic things (asking her to wash her hands, wear cleans clothes, not use socks or towels to wipe her bum!) that she sometimes snaps and it is hard to manage.

I have a sister but she doesn't want to help. I'm not sure why I am writing all but this but my partner and I are tired of talking about it, my son tries not to get involved because he finds it so sad that his nana is like this now, and it isn't the nicest topic of conversation for my friends and work colleagues!

I absolutely take my hat off to anyone living with dementia. I actually have had some great tips from members here before just from googling things like dementia and toilet paper. I actually bought the individual boxes of tissue paper rather than rolls, which has really helped with the tissue hoarding!

Anyway, thanks to anyone that actually got to the end of this. It was long! Sorry!!

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @RLodge and welcome to Dementia Support Forum which is a great place to ask questions, share with people who understand, get good suggestions and let off steam. And there's no need to apologise for lengthy posts as getting it all written down often helps one to cope.

 

[Ding Dweller]

Hi, my Mum has Dementia and is at the stage where she knows that she knows me, but not that I am her daughter or my name. It's relentless and my sister and I have been dealing with this for 14 years now. She is in a home, but it's always there and I'm so tired of it all.

 

[Kevinl]

Carer fatigue is a mess up, so very sorry for you.
K