Hello, My mum had Parkinson’s dementia. My father looked after her for many years before he could not cope any longer.
As my mums condition progressed my younger sister who lives very near them called me telling me she could not cope with my parents.
I went to stay with them and realised both my parents were really struggling.
Mam was having hallucinations and falls.
My father who is deaf was loosing his patience with Mum, so I knew I had to help.
It was a 6 hour journey from my home to o my parents home and my sister lives a few streets away.
My Mum had no support for her Parkinson’s condition and it was heartbreaking to realise her deterioration with sinemet tablets.
My father did not read any information on Parkinson’s and no mention of dementia was ever discussed from the doctors, or at the 2 visits from a Parkinson’s nurse.
Both live in a very isolated area.
As Mams conditions deteriorated Dad began to get more impatient and angry, as she had more falls and more severe hallucinations.
He refused any help and became quite angry shouting if she fell or slipped from her dining seat.
Myself and my sister tried to help but Mum and Dad said they wanted to live their lives independently and stop interfering.
Every time I left them and travelled back home my sister would call me screaming down the phone that she couldn’t cope with them and I would have to return the next day.
Eventually I had to spend the next 4 years staying in the town to be near my parents as Mams condition deteriorated.
I tried to get more support for her. Occupational therapists and I applied for a grant for a toilet and shower downstairs and equipment to support her.
My Dad was furious and did not want any change to their small terrace house.
I stayed near them at an old friends flat in town to be near and took my mum to a support group every Thursday, which she enjoyed.
I took her to specialist appointments and the doctors.
I spent as much time with them as I possibly could but also gave them their space and again every time I went back home my sister would call screaming down the phone she couldn’t cope with them.
Eventually, after Mam had several bad falls and ambulances were called, then Mam became incontinent Dad refused to have her at home.
She remained in the ward for 7 weeks until a meeting was called.
Dad visited her every night but refused to have her back home. He has been deaf for many years and doesn’t deal with anything.
He just switched off.
I had to deal with the hospital placement service which only offered my Mum a care home place.
The entire process was heartbreaking.
I realised my Dad had OCD personality disorder and could not deal with any change to his routines. Or his environment.
He refused any changed and could not deal with anything official, or bills, talking or communicating.
Then my sister found out she had cancer.
I had to take responsibility for everything. I quickly applied for POA, just in time to deal with social services I added my sister too.
for my Mum and Dad.
She had to start treatment for cancer and surgery so I had a lot to deal with without causing her any stress.
Anyway after a heart attack and several strokes Dad is now in the same nursing home Mam was in until January last year. after living in a care home and eventually a nursing home she passed away end of January this year.
It’s been a totally heartbreaking time for all my family.
I did not expect that both my sisters have been so angry and aggressive over my fathers house and money and the fact that I am POA,
It’s destroyed my life.
Has anyone experienced this hatred from siblings.
It’s become unbearable…..
