Sleep disturbance on top of the need to have your wits about you during the day. This is what your posts are telling me about your lives
@Jilly606,
@Dimpsy,
@Fishgirl,
@Roseleigh,
@mobton.
People pay lip service to understanding the strain carers live with day by day, night after night but no one really knows unless they`ve been there. If they did, carers would be better supported.
You're so right
@Grannie G, I'm busy (caring) all day, so it's 'my time', once mum is in bed, except it isn't really as I get up and check on her a couple of times throughout the night and catch up with emails (& now I've discovered TP try and keep up to date with that; I'm surprised by how quickly I feel part of this group, maybe because I know we are all facing the same demon that is dementia) and then there are the always present worries that come to the forefront of my mind once the lights go off - are we doing the right thing by mum, should we be using paid carers, would she be upset if we asked her to stay in respite for a week or two, just so OH and I could have a break.
I can't remember the last time I slept through the whole night, I start the day feeling tired, and do it all over again. The only way I can cope is to turn off my brain and just get on with things.
I don't think about our future, OH and I had such plans for retirement ,but they all went out the window the day mum moved in and we became a threesome.
We don't regret for one moment taking mum in, despite the fact we had little choice in the matter, I just feel so sad for us as a couple. My husband and I listen to our friends and family talking about holidays and outings and feel envious that we have lost the freedom to just go and do our own thing.
I'm so sorry to blurt all this out, my fingers just wouldn't stop writing and what a self-pitying person I sound, but it's how I feel inside and I'm weary. Some days I feel as if I'm the same age as mum, the joy I used to feel about my job, children, grandchildren, hobbies has gone. Our lives now revolve around mum, who, if she was aware would hate it, she was the kindest, gentlest most unselfish person ever, and wouldn't want to feel as if she was a burden, which she isn't ........... but.