Hi, I am new to TP, but have been reading posts for a while and found lots of advice. I hope I am posting in the right place as not too sure.
My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers 3 years ago following a fall at home. She was cared for by my dad who sadly passed away in 2017 so now my sister and I look after mum. Mum doesn't change her clothes or shower, can't shop, make meals other than a sandwich, has no short term memory, but otherwise is jogging along at home.My sister and her 4 grown up children live near mum and I live with my family a 3 hour drive away. We have POA in place, DD for bills and AA. Mum goes to a day centre 4 times a week and has carers come in on the other days ( tho insists she needs no help and won't let them do anything).She has a weekly cleaner who comes when she's not at home.my sister works full time and has grandchildren she tries to help out with too. She does mum's weekly shop and goes to mum's at the weekend to pop in a microwave meal, put on washing etc.She's there a couple of hours Saturday and Sunday and is finding it hard not having free time and can get quite bitter towards me at times. I go up to stay with mum every 3 and a half weeks for 4 days to help out, take mum to DR/hospital appointments, co-ordinate plumbers etc and have done paper work for insurance, POA refund for dad, selling premium bonds and other things like that but am at a loss about how else I can help. I know my sister would like me to visit more frequently , especially as I have now retired , but I have inlaws to support too ( in another part of the country) as well as wanting to have a life at home with my family and friends and hate the actual drive up the motorway.
I feel guilty, and don't want to be thought of as an "invisible", and wonder if anyone can suggest how else I can help mum and my sisiter.
My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimers 3 years ago following a fall at home. She was cared for by my dad who sadly passed away in 2017 so now my sister and I look after mum. Mum doesn't change her clothes or shower, can't shop, make meals other than a sandwich, has no short term memory, but otherwise is jogging along at home.My sister and her 4 grown up children live near mum and I live with my family a 3 hour drive away. We have POA in place, DD for bills and AA. Mum goes to a day centre 4 times a week and has carers come in on the other days ( tho insists she needs no help and won't let them do anything).She has a weekly cleaner who comes when she's not at home.my sister works full time and has grandchildren she tries to help out with too. She does mum's weekly shop and goes to mum's at the weekend to pop in a microwave meal, put on washing etc.She's there a couple of hours Saturday and Sunday and is finding it hard not having free time and can get quite bitter towards me at times. I go up to stay with mum every 3 and a half weeks for 4 days to help out, take mum to DR/hospital appointments, co-ordinate plumbers etc and have done paper work for insurance, POA refund for dad, selling premium bonds and other things like that but am at a loss about how else I can help. I know my sister would like me to visit more frequently , especially as I have now retired , but I have inlaws to support too ( in another part of the country) as well as wanting to have a life at home with my family and friends and hate the actual drive up the motorway.
I feel guilty, and don't want to be thought of as an "invisible", and wonder if anyone can suggest how else I can help mum and my sisiter.