@Carmar and
@Lindy50 i think I'm starting to buckle under the worry. Hopefully dad's need will be taken more seriously now he's been a failed discharge.
I was shocked on Tuesday when I got the call asking if someone could fetch him from hospital. The day before they'd been talking about transferring him to a specialist hospital about 15 miles away. I expect they decided he's too old to bother with.
Dad and I discussed what treatment he would want and the sorting of treatment he would have been given at that hospital would have been what he didn't want. This is all written in his H&W POA which they weren't interested in seeing
.
Dad was managing wih 3 visits a day and someone popping in at teatime to make sure he was ok. But he was still (sometimes) going to the loo for a wee and always for a poo. He could get up off the sofa and get himself a cold drink. We made him hot drinks and so did the carers. He could get in and out of bed independently, although he didn't always go to bed. Sometimes slept on the sofa. Carers made him breakfast and encouraged him to wash and clean teeth etc, gave him hot lunch and left a sandwich for later. They made sure he was wearing dry pull-ups..he was still semi independent.
Now he can do nothing, so he was discharged with 3 visits, which I immediately upped to 4, but he has to be helped off the sofa, given instructions on how to sit down, stand up, straighten his legs, stand tall, walk...he's not eating, he's being fed spoonfuls of yogurt, he's fully incontinent, but at least he's still drinking - although sometimes he'll just up end the cup and tip the juice on the floor
I don't think he's safe to be alone.
I've got by by being emotionally blank for weeks/months and managed to cope with things which I know should upset me by pretending to be Vulcan!
People I've spoken to expect me to be upset and I'm not. They must think I'm hard. But this week tears are very close to the surface, at the most unexpected moments.
Sorry. I'm waffling! I'm so grateful to have you all to talk to. Keeps me sane!!