Good idea, you never know, he might change his mind.Hi @margherita hope you are well. Yes im not mentioning the wedding too him again
Good idea, you never know, he might change his mind.Hi @margherita hope you are well. Yes im not mentioning the wedding too him again
Hi @margherita even if he did change his mind he isnt going . I am not going to have a repeat of sons wedding. I shudnt of asked him really if he was going but you know how it is you always have that guilt monster lurking. For him to say yes im going to then be so volatile . I was only going to explain what was happening. The shouting was horrendous i walked away as i thought he was getting out of control. The look on his face was awful. Scary. xxGood idea, you never know, he might change his mind.
Hi @Beads ,
please, don't allow the guilt monster to spoil your daughter's wedding day.
Why should you feel guilty?
Not only isn't your OH interested in the family currently, but seems not to have been in the past, too.
I do not think he will miss you.
Who will be with him while you're away?[/QUOTE
The unreasonable OH will be here himself @margherita . He is capable of looking after himself for a couple of nights his words .As you know in the past when i have gone away i have said to him about getting help in & he has refused . As he says i can look after myself well so be it. Until a crisis happens this is how it will be once things change then i will do whats needed. He wouldnt even open the door last time i was away my friend kept popping in. Then he fell out with the neighbour can you remember. xx
Hi @Beads ,
please, don't allow the guilt monster to spoil your daughter's wedding day.
Why should you feel guilty?
Not only isn't your OH interested in the family currently, but seems not to have been in the past, too.
I do not think he will miss you.
Who will be with him while you're away?
Hi @Beads , can well imagine how hard it is for you dealing with your OH, what a nightmare. At least if he’s not going to the wedding you can relax and enjoy it. As you say when others say “it’s the disease” we might think yes, but they’ve always had a nasty streak so it isn’t just dementia. Anyway you try to enjoy the build up and the wedding, you owe it to yourself. Hugs xxxxxxThink the gremlins in my ipad. Thought it hadnt posted . So i did it again now i see it had only its not highlighted. Strange.
You are honest and generous. I think you have given much more than you have received.@margherita I honestly wonder if i have the strength or even the wanting to see this through with him. xx
Hi @longlostfan how are you have you got rid of the dizzy spells. Hope so. Hows your OH doing. Are you back too all day on a Saturday at the library yet. Yes i intend to enjoy the wedding & thankyou . Been for hair trial this afternoon. Soon be here Saturday. I cant get away from the fact OH was always unreasonable horrible so now its just worse with the dementia in the mix. Thankyou again. Speak soon take care. AxxxHi @Beads , can well imagine how hard it is for you dealing with your OH, what a nightmare. At least if he’s not going to the wedding you can relax and enjoy it. As you say when others say “it’s the disease” we might think yes, but they’ve always had a nasty streak so it isn’t just dementia. Anyway you try to enjoy the build up and the wedding, you owe it to yourself. Hugs xxxxxx
You & me both @margherita .Thankyou for your kind words . You also take care ,dear friend . Speak soon. AxxxYou are honest and generous. I think you have given much more than you have received.
You'll make the right decision .
In the meantime, take care of yourself, dear friend
Hi @margherita hope you are well. The day of seeing her he must have put on a very good act, also she was only with him half an hour wasnt she i dont know how she can say hes stable. She must be just going off the test he did because his score was higher. God knows this dementia baffles the hell out of me. As you say if she was with him 24x7 she would soon change her opinion.Hi everyone,
I can't stop thinking about OH's specialist who said he is stable.
I wish she could spend an hour with him and then I would ask her if she is still convinced that her diagnosis is correct.
Yesterday at lunch, after he had eaten his spaghetti, I asked him if he wanted one or two slices of bread with his steak and he said one was enough because he had already eaten two or three.
I asked him where he had found the bread he had eaten and he said " here, on the table."
I did not comment on his answer. It would have useless to try to persuade him I had not put the bread on the table, yet.
He often remembers things that have never happened ( can I call them delusions or are they only fake memories?), while he forgets what has actually happened.
Hi @margherita thankyou very much . We are already here at hotel. Yes we are all ready will soon be here she gets married at 2 30pm. I know you have an appointment today but i cant remeber if its for you or OH. Hope all goes well. Thankyou again. Speak soon take care. Axxx
Hi @marherita hope you are ok. All went well thankyou for asking so thoughtfull of you. It was a beautiful day & she looked beautiful.Lovely couple i have now got a nice SIL. OH was fine while i was gone 2 nights. He never remembered it was the wedding even though the last thing i put in the car Friday was the wedding dress. When i got back Sunday lunchtime he asked me if i had a good holiday. The wedding cake i took out of the car & he has had some but never said anything . So i havent mentioned it either. At least i had a lovely day with no stress . Back to the norm now .
Hi @Rosebush hope you are well. Whats happening with OH are you still doing lots of walks . Is he back at day centre ? Thankyou yes the day went off well & my daughter looked beautiful. I really had a lovely day & stress free which was the icing on the cake. As i said to margherita he thought i had been on holiday. He obviously cant remember anything about the wedding . I brought home what was left of cake. He still hasnt mentioned anything . Normal service resumed well that of a carer looking after PWD. Speak soon R & thankyou . Take care .xxHi, Beads, hope you had a lovely day what did OH do? Take care. Lxx