Grumpy OH
- Thread starter Beads
- Start date
Hi @margherita even if he did change his mind he isnt going . I am not going to have a repeat of sons wedding. I shudnt of asked him really if he was going but you know how it is you always have that guilt monster lurking. For him to say yes im going to then be so volatile . I was only going to explain what was happening. The shouting was horrendous i walked away as i thought he was getting out of control. The look on his face was awful. Scary. xx
@margherita i know your right. The unreasonable OH will be looking after himself as he says i dont need anyone seeing to me . So be it . Can you remember in the past when i have gone away he would never answer the door to daughter or my friend when they kept popping up. Then he fell out with neighbour because he was checking on him to see how he was . He told him to you can guess”. two words “. As i have said before i will continue like this until something does happen then he has no choice. Hes so damn difficult. If i say anything too him that doesnt suit its like WW3. So its best to say nothing what a life we lead . This is how he has been all our married life so i can never differentiate from the PWD now. Only difference is over the last few years his mobility is limited & his memory is terrible. The rest he has always had only getting worse. (Unbearable) I honestly wonder if i have the strength or even the wanting to see this through with him. xx
Hi @Beads , can well imagine how hard it is for you dealing with your OH, what a nightmare. At least if he’s not going to the wedding you can relax and enjoy it. As you say when others say “it’s the disease” we might think yes, but they’ve always had a nasty streak so it isn’t just dementia. Anyway you try to enjoy the build up and the wedding, you owe it to yourself. Hugs xxxxxx
You are honest and generous. I think you have given much more than you have received.
You'll make the right decision .
In the meantime, take care of yourself, dear friend
Hi @longlostfan how are you have you got rid of the dizzy spells. Hope so. Hows your OH doing. Are you back too all day on a Saturday at the library yet. Yes i intend to enjoy the wedding & thankyou . Been for hair trial this afternoon. Soon be here Saturday. I cant get away from the fact OH was always unreasonable horrible so now its just worse with the dementia in the mix. Thankyou again. Speak soon take care. Axxx
You & me both @margherita .Thankyou for your kind words . You also take care ,dear friend . Speak soon. Axxx
Hi everyone,
I can't stop thinking about OH's specialist who said he is stable.
I wish she could spend an hour with him and then I would ask her if she is still convinced that her diagnosis is correct.
Yesterday at lunch, after he had eaten his spaghetti, I asked him if he wanted one or two slices of bread with his steak and he said one was enough because he had already eaten two or three.
I asked him where he had found the bread he had eaten and he said " here, on the table."
I did not comment on his answer. It would have useless to try to persuade him I had not put the bread on the table, yet.
He often remembers things that have never happened ( can I call them delusions or are they only fake memories?), while he forgets what has actually happened.
I can't stop thinking about OH's specialist who said he is stable.
I wish she could spend an hour with him and then I would ask her if she is still convinced that her diagnosis is correct.
Yesterday at lunch, after he had eaten his spaghetti, I asked him if he wanted one or two slices of bread with his steak and he said one was enough because he had already eaten two or three.
I asked him where he had found the bread he had eaten and he said " here, on the table."
I did not comment on his answer. It would have useless to try to persuade him I had not put the bread on the table, yet.
He often remembers things that have never happened ( can I call them delusions or are they only fake memories?), while he forgets what has actually happened.
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Hi @margherita hope you are well. The day of seeing her he must have put on a very good act, also she was only with him half an hour wasnt she i dont know how she can say hes stable. She must be just going off the test he did because his score was higher. God knows this dementia baffles the hell out of me. As you say if she was with him 24x7 she would soon change her opinion.
My friend deals with dementia people i mentioned to her about OH always eating . He can have a hot meal i have made for him . Then half an hour later he is making himself a sandwich a cup of tea & dessert . Then the same thing again say an hour later. This goes on from when he actually gets up. Day in day out. I said to her i know he musnt remember he has eaten but surely he must feel full. She said no the part of the brain that tells you you are full cant be working anymore. She said i should get Social Services involved to do an assessement of him . Then she said they would see about day centre & respite. I said to her he wouldnt hear of that. So we just plod on yet standing still (waiting).I hate this with a vengance . The more i try to understand it margherita the more frustrated annoyed i get. Speak soon my friend take care. Axxxx
Hi @margherita thankyou very much . We are already here at hotel. Yes we are all ready will soon be here she gets married at 2 30pm. I know you have an appointment today but i cant remeber if its for you or OH. Hope all goes well. Thankyou again. Speak soon take care. Axxx
Hi @marherita hope you are ok. All went well thankyou for asking so thoughtfull of you. It was a beautiful day & she looked beautiful.Lovely couple i have now got a nice SIL. OH was fine while i was gone 2 nights. He never remembered it was the wedding even though the last thing i put in the car Friday was the wedding dress. When i got back Sunday lunchtime he asked me if i had a good holiday. The wedding cake i took out of the car & he has had some but never said anything . So i havent mentioned it either. At least i had a lovely day with no stress . Back to the norm now .
Hows your OH margherita any changes. Speak soon my friend . Thankyou again & take good care. xx
Hi @Rosebush hope you are well. Whats happening with OH are you still doing lots of walks . Is he back at day centre ? Thankyou yes the day went off well & my daughter looked beautiful. I really had a lovely day & stress free which was the icing on the cake. As i said to margherita he thought i had been on holiday. He obviously cant remember anything about the wedding . I brought home what was left of cake. He still hasnt mentioned anything . Normal service resumed well that of a carer looking after PWD. Speak soon R & thankyou . Take care .xx
