Morning all,
We didn't get the fog or mist here, Spamar - just grey skies and some rain, and chilly. Re Uni - For the first year of the course at least, dau will attend the local uni, which I hope will help. Brother is on the end of the phone, and I know he will help her if she needs it - so all good, hopefully. Sounds like all your granddaughters are working hard at their education - good luck to all of them, I think from GCSE through to college and beyond is a tough time for kids, a lot of pressure, so well done to all of them for putting in the effort x
OK - I'm bouncing with the CH - again. Visited yesterday, found Mil sleeping in the sensory room. She was on a deep-ish sofa, had once again slid so far down in the seat that her bottom was only half on the edge of the seat cushion, and her neck was bent forward at what looked to be a pretty uncomfortable angle. No cushions. I could hear her wheezing as I walked through the door. What on earth do I have to do here, folks? Its a really simple request, and one that's been made purely on the basis of Mil's comfort and safety. And its become a major issue only because the staff just don't give the cushions to her. I didn't even trust myself to speak or complain, I was just so angry, but what I did do is take out my phone and take a photograph. And I decided there and then that in future, when I visit if she doesn't have the cushions, I will take a photograph each time, to document how often they are being used. The next complaint - if I have to make one - will be in writing, with photographic evidence. I also noted that although she had her own trousers on, the top she was wearing was (a) not hers, and (b) a pyjama top - that's maybe not major, but on top of the lack of cushions, it really irked me.
The message has obviously been given to the staff, because within a few minutes of me arriving, one came rushing in, gabbling about how Mil had
'had her cushions all day, and wouldn't you know it, the first time she doesn't have them, you turn up!' Yeah - right! What a coincidence. I didn't even answer her, just sat whilst she prattled on. She went and got the wedge cushion - no sign of the smaller one that goes under Mil's thighs. Whilst she was off getting the cushion, another staff came in and I asked him could he hear how bad Mil's breathing was? Yes - it sounded pretty bad, he agreed. I said I'd mentioned she sounded wheezy on my last visit, and asked had she seen the GP? He didn't know. He would go and fetch the nurse.
Off he went, and once the wedge cushion at least was place, and MIl sat upright, there was an immediate improvement in her breathing, though it still wasn't right. The nurse came in, then hurried off to get Mil's inhaler. Using that made a further improvement. Chances are, its the COPD or her heart causing the wheeziness. And if that's the case, it provides another reason why the cushions matter - sitting upright, her breathing is easier for her, and she definitely has less difficulty talking, she doesn't have to stop to catch her breath. So it matters. And if I hadn't visited would she have been sat upright, much less been given the inhaler? I'm not sure that either of those things would have happened, without me being there. That is really worrying. And no, the GP hadn't been called, so also there is a chance that she has another chest infection, it hasn't been ruled out. Calling the GP when there is the possibility of an infection is more about making sure she is comfortable, in my books. And I've made that very clear, as has OH - any treatment is to primarily ensure her comfort and lessen agitation. The GP should have been consulted for those reasons alone.
The staff who had fetched the wedge then proceded to tell me that Mil had had a 'bad' morning. Another meltdown. Banging on doors, tables and windows, screaming and swearing. She had slapped/scratched 2 or 3 staff, and thrown a cup of tea at another. (Yet another reason why the GP should have been consulted - if she has an infection, it will impact on her behaviour). I guess that explains why she was alone in the sensory room - would have been perhaps a good idea if, however, they had actually turned on the pretty, calming lights and music in there too? Once that staff left, 2 more popped their heads in in the following 10 minutes or so, each one with a tale of how much better it was now that they are 'using the cushions all the time'. It was a little OTT, and all the more unbelievable for that.
Mil herself was really calm and in a pretty good mood, very chatty. She stunned me (again) after several minutes of the usual disjointed conversation, by suddenly calling me by my name. A lot of her speech was impeded by the odd repitition mid sentence, and by some sentences that were just gobbly-de-gook, though. At one point she turned to me and said 'Oh - me tangled is may'. She must have taken in the confused look on my face, because she then used her hand to gesture in a circle around her own face, repeating the same phrase. I have no idea what that - and several other phrases she used - meant, but she was satisfied with my response of 'Oh - really?', thankfully. Other things she said were crystal clear, however. She pointed to the light tree in the room (not switched on) and told me that it was 'very expensive'. She also mentioned her grandson and was at pains to tell me that 'His little lad is very, very little you know' (?). For some reason, she was also very keen to know how much eggs, chicken and bread cost. When she said something about how she had been singing, I got out my phone again, and started playing her some songs that I knew she used to like. We started with 'Paddy McGinty's Goat', and moved on through the Dubliners, then songs from the 1950's. And she made a darn good attempt to sing along with them, gripping my hand and bouncing it up and down in time to the music. It was really nice, because she was showing such pleasure in it. She even commented - with a wicked twinkle - that Bobby Vee was 'very hansome', whilst listening and singing to 'take good care of my baby'
After about an hour, there was another annoyance, I'm afraid. There is a new-ish staff there, who neither OH nor I can take too. She makes a bee-line for Mil, when we visit and she is on-duty, and goes on and on about, basically, how good she is to Mil and how much she does with her. She doesn't stop for breath whilst telling us how Mil has said this to her, or done that with her - and some of the tales are quite frankly, not one bit believable. She also really gets into Mil's space, leaning in for hugs and kisses, all the time. Affection shown to Mil is lovely - but not when its just for show. Yesterday, she asked Mil repeatedly for a kiss - Mil told her NO each time, and still she eventually grabbed Mil in a hug, pulling her up close and demanding a 'little kiss, come on' - I nearly howled when Mil 'gobbled' at her cheek, in an obvious attempt to bite her! The staff then started on an unbelievable tale about how Mil had '
put the wedge round her neck and chased me all up and down the corridors, pretending she had a snake and hissing at me and we had to kill it and turn it back into a cushion' . Yep - Mil, particularly with her current breathing problems, is more than capable of chasing staff for a prolonged period of time, and of engaging in a joke for that same period - NOT. In the end I cut across her and asked her to fetch Mil a drink, to get rid of her. I think I may have been less than subtle - we didn't see her again. Mil didn't get the drink I'd asked for, either.
I stayed for about an hour and a half. Good to have such a nice visit with Mil, but I was really angry over the lack of cushions, her breathing, the pj top - and the stupid, attention-seeking staff.
I think maybe that OH and I will visit again today. I'm not looking for a row, but this has gone on long enough and I think I need to be keeping a much closer eye on things for a while, at least.
Any and all suggestions about how to finally sort this issue with the cushions will be gratefully received - other than escalating it with a written complaint, I honestly don't know what else I can do!
Love to all, as always xxxx
