Progress on care homes
JP - just a thought - I filmed some of my mum's 'episodes' on my mobile when she was really bad as I also found that as soon as a stranger stepped in the door, she calmed, and you'd think things were OK. I never had to use the stuff I filmed though, and I deleted it, as it was so awful.
Well, I think I've made some progress. The home(s) I went to see are local, around 11 miles away. I think I spent about 3 hours there! There are two homes side by side, one is larger, around 56 residents, and is a nursing/dementia home. It's very impressive. This is the most expensive (over £1,000 a week, but I was kind of expecting that). They have another, smaller, home next door which is a care home but without nursing (though the nurses from the larger home do pop over if need be). This one is under £1,000, I think that is probably where mum would go, if she goes there. It's good that people can transition from one to the other, as required, and those already 'in house' get priority when they need to move to the nursing section. Everything is included in the cost except hairdressing and hand nail care (including outings and events). They also have an 'end of life' section (which they didn't offer to show me) and a day centre, which is run daily, charged hourly, and is run separate from the home, though in the same building. They also have a third 'campus' down the road, which I ran out of energy to view! I really, really like this place. It's like the Ritz compared to where mum is now. As for staff, well I was told there are 15 carers on at any one time, plus the nurses, admin staff, managers, etc. We bumped into one of the owners of the homes and he spent ages telling me about it and how proud they are of their staff and all their accolades.
Interestingly, this home also mentioned that they have some kind of 'charity' arrangement that if, after residing there for three years, your money starts to run out, you can apply for charitable funding via their scheme to top up your fees, so that you don't have to move to another home.
So, now I have her on two homes' waiting lists and tomorrow the first one will call me with an update as they are 'reviewing' their waiting list. Both do day care, and I think I have to get mum to this now, however much she may protest. As the dementia progresses (which it seems to be doing very quickly) then the protests may be fewer.
Feel much better, but still need to go to that awful place tonight, with some bleach and toilet cleaner in my bag! The dining atmosphere was so different where I was today - they group people by 'eating ability' in the nursing home and there was certainly a lot of assistance going on at meal times - I saw at least three care assistants helping residents with meals, and there was a bit of a 'buzz' around the place, compared to complete silence, and no assistance, where mum is now.
I'm going to pop in every evening now until I 'spring' mum from the current place! If I find that she's OK, then will leave her there for the next day. I plan to get her out over the weekend. Just a few more days to get myself back to some kind of normality, before I start back again. But, I now have potential back up help in the form of two care home places on the horizon, and by the time they come up, it probably really be crunch time and time for a care home for mum. We shall see...
In the meantime, home care restarts next Monday!