So, what’s my Pauline been up to today?

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,876
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Well I have got a list of local care homes from Social Services and , as all had annotations denoting what type of clients taken I have reduced it to those accepting Dementia residents. Problem is I have no idea which provide respite so I will need to phone each to create a short list should it be needed. Having consulted with her eldest son we have agreed to do any visits together. Needless to say I am already feeling the guilt just by not keeping her in the loop but knowing her reaction to day care I would anticipate worse for respite.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,261
0
South coast
Needless to say I am already feeling the guilt just by not keeping her in the loop but knowing her reaction to day care I would anticipate worse for respite.
I understand, but think you are right.
I didnt tell OH when I was trying to find respite and only talked about it once I had decided where he would go.
I hope you find a good home
xx
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,313
0
Surrey
I wonder if there are any specialist dementia homes on the list @Agzy? I wonder if they might have a good approach with Pauline? I would certainly explore them.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,876
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
I wonder if there are any specialist dementia homes on the list @Agzy? I wonder if they might have a good approach with Pauline? I would certainly explore them.
Each home had annotations stating what kind of clients accepted and a ‘D’ denotes they accept dementia patients and so plan to contact only them but first will need to research all online to see ratings etc
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,876
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
What a b*!*** morning. As usual I was up at 6am only to find heating, which had been service only yesterday, hadn’t come on so had to put it on manually to get heat and hot water. Then of course just as I finish my shower in comes Pauline and the usual accident in her pull-ups so had to sort her out with toilet then shower and once she was settled with breakfast and meds I had to put my skin ointments and emmolients, or slap as I call it on and then get dressed.
After my breakfast it was clean and replace batteries in my hearing aids followed by doing the medicine blister packs for next week, a job that just takes ages. In the midst of this Pauline goes to the loo and yes, another accident so upstairs to sort it all out and get her clean pull-ups and leggings. During all this I had also put a wash in the machine which eventually had to be put on the landing airer so more trips up stairs. Her son then arrives to sit and wait for me/her to make conversation while I phone British Gas to get the fitter back and fix heating and of course get the worst phone operator I have ever come across and not understanding most of what he says, so the call is prolonged and stressful but eventually agreed an engineers will call some time today so we are housebound now!
What makes that worse was I then tried to reset the thermostat again and Bingo, it worked, but oh dear, no way of contacting the engineer to cancel.
So, by mid morning I an exhausted and truly stressed pus disappointed we can’t attend a memory group this afternoon that we have on alternate Saturdays which I was looking forward to. Ah well the sun is shining for a change 😆
 

GillP

Registered User
Aug 11, 2021
3,922
0
What a b*!*** morning. As usual I was up at 6am only to find heating, which had been service only yesterday, hadn’t come on so had to put it on manually to get heat and hot water. Then of course just as I finish my shower in comes Pauline and the usual accident in her pull-ups so had to sort her out with toilet then shower and once she was settled with breakfast and meds I had to put my skin ointments and emmolients, or slap as I call it on and then get dressed.
After my breakfast it was clean and replace batteries in my hearing aids followed by doing the medicine blister packs for next week, a job that just takes ages. In the midst of this Pauline goes to the loo and yes, another accident so upstairs to sort it all out and get her clean pull-ups and leggings. During all this I had also put a wash in the machine which eventually had to be put on the landing airer so more trips up stairs. Her son then arrives to sit and wait for me/her to make conversation while I phone British Gas to get the fitter back and fix heating and of course get the worst phone operator I have ever come across and not understanding most of what he says, so the call is prolonged and stressful but eventually agreed an engineers will call some time today so we are housebound now!
What makes that worse was I then tried to reset the thermostat again and Bingo, it worked, but oh dear, no way of contacting the engineer to cancel.
So, by mid morning I an exhausted and truly stressed pus disappointed we can’t attend a memory group this afternoon that we have on alternate Saturdays which I was looking forward to. Ah well the sun is shining for a change 😆
Not the best of days! Fate does seem to conspire against us sometimes. One thing which may help regarding medication. You can request that medication is put up for you by days, pharmacies do it. I think they’re called dosette boxes.

Hoping the day improves for you.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,876
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Not the best of days! Fate does seem to conspire against us sometimes. One thing which may help regarding medication. You can request that medication is put up for you by days, pharmacies do it. I think they’re called dosette boxes.

Hoping the day improves for you.
There is a big waiting list at our pharmacy and others in village don’t do it 😞 thank you.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,876
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
A calm start today and no help needed in the bathroom for and so I do a dark wash and, while she watches Inspector George Gently for the umpteenth time, I am getting items out of the machine to hang on the airier and off she goes to the loo. Inevitably she had had a poo accident in her pull-ups and so had been sat in it, very messy to clean of course.
Once she was all cleaned and dressed again I began to hang the washing on the landing airer and Pauline, bless her, decided to help me!
Needless to say it took forever and yes she wanted to but, given my breathing problems I have a routine which she doesn't follow, and so a lot of unnecessary bending down for me and gasping like a fish out of water and exhausted for a while Until a relaxing cup of coffee while I too have to watch George Gently 😝
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,876
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Another morning of continence issues and my breathing struggles and a really bad one as, after toileting and shower all sorted and sitting in front of TV she needs to go which seems to be shorthand for Oops I’ve had an accident!
Within minutes of getting to the toilet she is shouting me and a fresh pair of pull-ups and pad are confined to the bin and the struggle to cleaner her while not making a bigger mess than at start. It is not the task per se but the fact that at present my right lung is basically out of action via a ‘Raised Diaphragm‘ at the bottom of my lung. the resulting limiting of lung capacity leaves me gasping like a fish especially when bending down trying to get her pull-ups, Leggings and socks on never mind cleaning the pan and floor. Anyway all got sorted and I settled her in the spare room while I finished the cleaning and she then reappeared in the bathroom and yes, another accident! Who said being a carer was easy?
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,313
0
Surrey
This sounds so awful for you both @Agzy 😢😢

I remember the GP was testing to see if Pauline had any bowel infection or issue - did that come back all clear or are you still waiting? The clear up would be so much less stressful for you both if things were more solid
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,781
0
Kent
Hi @ Agzy
Really feeling for you in these troubles.
Is Pauline having "accidents" or is that she cannot exercise muscle control (ie incontinence)?
Speak GP, LA Health Care Incontinence Nurse soonest,
 

notsogooddtr

Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
1,288
0
Another morning of continence issues and my breathing struggles and a really bad one as, after toileting and shower all sorted and sitting in front of TV she needs to go which seems to be shorthand for Oops I’ve had an accident!
Within minutes of getting to the toilet she is shouting me and a fresh pair of pull-ups and pad are confined to the bin and the struggle to cleaner her while not making a bigger mess than at start. It is not the task per se but the fact that at present my right lung is basically out of action via a ‘Raised Diaphragm‘ at the bottom of my lung. the resulting limiting of lung capacity leaves me gasping like a fish especially when bending down trying to get her pull-ups, Leggings and socks on never mind cleaning the pan and floor. Anyway all got sorted and I settled her in the spare room while I finished the cleaning and she then reappeared in the bathroom and yes, another accident! Who said being a carer was easy?
This sounds unsustainable-are the toilet issues mostly in the morning?I really think you need to start shouting out for help
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,876
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
This sounds so awful for you both @Agzy 😢😢

I remember the GP was testing to see if Pauline had any bowel infection or issue - did that come back all clear or are you still waiting? The clear up would be so much less stressful for you both if things were more solid
No response at all from GP so presume tests clear 😞
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
3,876
0
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Hi @ Agzy
Really feeling for you in these troubles.
Is Pauline having "accidents" or is that she cannot exercise muscle control (ie incontinence)?
Speak GP, LA Health Care Incontinence Nurse soonest,
Last time I mention it her GP she replied that it is in all probability the dementia but I suspect muscular as she has literally no control at all and is so surprised (and embarrassed) when it happens.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,261
0
South coast
Last time I mention it her GP she replied that it is in all probability the dementia but I suspect muscular as she has literally no control at all and is so surprised (and embarrassed) when it happens.
When you cannot control it at all, that is definitely incontinence.
And incontinence is part of the later stages of dementia

Im more concerned about the way it is so liquid. I seem to remember that she has been checked for a bowel blockage/overflow diarrhoea?
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,313
0
Surrey
Yes it’s the liquid bit that I am worried about too - did it change from being more solid? Getting that sorted would help you both out I am sure. If it was more solid it would give Pauline more warning to get to the loo and make the clear up much easier.

Has GP looked at medication interactions etc? I had a friend who suddenly developed diarrhoea and it was due to the chloestrol medication he had been on. He had been on it for ages but suddenly started irritating his system.

You do have to pester these days. Habe you admiral nurses in the area @Agzy? I do worry you get fobbed off with it’s just dementia…

Others May correct me if diarrhoea type stools are normal at this stage - but from what I have picked up it’s usually the other end of the spectrum!
 

nitram

Registered User
Apr 6, 2011
30,475
0
Bury
Others May correct me if diarrhoea type stools are normal at this stage - but from what I have picked up it’s usually the other end of the spectrum!
It was constipation in my wife's case although it sometimes led to bypass which had a distinctive consistency.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,261
0
South coast
Others May correct me if diarrhoea type stools are normal at this stage - but from what I have picked up it’s usually the other end of the spectrum!
Yes, thats why I was wondering whether she had been checked for overflow diarrhoea (caused by severe constipation blocking the bowel) - I think she may have been, but I cant remember.
 

Staff online

Forum statistics

Threads
139,861
Messages
2,011,289
Members
91,596
Latest member
suebabs