Infuriating Conversations

[Ssteph]

So I said to my husband -
Me - Can you make a cup of tea please while I go sort the washing
Him - Have you made a cup of tea
Me - No can you make one please
Him - Are you going to make one now
Me - No I am going to sort the washing, can you make a cup of tea
Him - If you have made one why do I need to make one
Me - I haven't made one
Him - You just said you had made one
Me - No I said can you make one
Him - YES I KNOW I AM GOING TO MAKE ONE NOW

These sort of conversations happen many times per day

Oh my goodness, yep this is pretty much my life !!! I’m with you in spirit

 

[annieka 56]

One of the reasons I try never to let my husband know I am struggling with the housework is because he will say I can pay someone else to do it. Not that they would like some of the cleaning I have to do because he is less than fastidious in the bathroom! This is because he lived overseas for many years with live-in servants. I have a bit of a block about getting someone to help, but will have to do it eventually.

 

[annieka 56]

I understand about the block of getting someone to help. It's a tough one isn't it.
But when we can't do absolutely everything on our own, it's wise to start somewhere to lighten the load.
At present we have a carer who has to be male to help me cope with the aggression during personal care. After that and while the carer is still here, I must admit I do the rubber gloves cleaning myself.

 

[Anthoula]

One of the reasons I try never to let my husband know I am struggling with the housework is because he will say I can pay someone else to do it. Not that they would like some of the cleaning I have to do because he is less than fastidious in the bathroom! This is because he lived overseas for many years with live-in servants. I have a bit of a block about getting someone to help, but will have to do it eventually.

I can empathise with you re. the having lived overseas and having had live-in servants. My OH is exactly the same, so untidy, and now is even worse as the dementia has progressed.

 

[sapphire turner]

I did have a cleaner for a bit but found it quite stressful, she was a forceful character and never shut up, kept moaning about my cleaning equipment.
I now have a carer to take my husband out two mornings a week (paid for by attendance allowance and giving up the cleaner) and it has been much better all round. The house isn’t so clean but hey-ho 😹😹😹

 

[BeeBeeDee]

mine is the same. i think i repeat everything at least 5 times. in the end i tell him im not repeating it again. he then will tell me what ive said. we think its a habit that he does automatically. sometimes i have to explain or describe what i want. he can make a cup of tea and dish dinner, it just takes so long to get some jobs done. he couldnt help me put a sheet on his bed when i asked. he doesnt link things together either

Mine too