Do I move or stay?

[Andy63]

I am struggling with this question. My wife's Altzheimers is making it difficult fot her to manage the stairs. I need to prepare to bring her downstairs permanently by having a bed in the dining room. However, the bathroom is upstairs! If I add one downstairs it will make the house look odd and may reduce it value? Should I just bite the bullet and find a bungalow. Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation? Comments very welcome.

 

[DaftDad]

I am struggling with this question. My wife's Altzheimers is making it difficult fot her to manage the stairs. I need to prepare to bring her downstairs permanently by having a bed in the dining room. However, the bathroom is upstairs! If I add one downstairs it will make the house look odd and may reduce it value? Should I just bite the bullet and find a bungalow. Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation? Comments very welcome.

Not due to dementia, but my own physical access needs, we bit the bullet and moved to a bungalow last year, instead of trying to put in stairlifts or downstairs bathing facilities. It was an expensive move, but definitely worth it. If you can afford it, I would suggest moving, because even if your wife cannot remain at home for the longer term and needs residential care, your own needs might change over the forthcoming years, and in-home adaptations are very expensive and there is very limited funding now for Disabled Facilities Grants.

Be aware that moving house might make your wife's dementia worsen, as she will be somewhere new and unfamiliar.

 

[Cerisy]

Would installing a stairlift work for your wife? Whole cheaper and less distraction!

 

[Blissy]

Stair lift sounds a good solution to me as well. Depending on your income and savings you may be entitled to a grant for it. Even if you have to pay you'll get vat relief and that can make a big difference.

 

[Sarasa]

A stair lift would be fine as long as you are around to supervise its use. I know that companies might be reluctant to install a lift for someone with dementia is case they get confused about using it safely.
I think I agree with the idea of moving or at least seeing what's available. Round here bungalows are in short supply so it might take some time to find one that meets your needs/

 

[Brianna]

An alternative to a stairlift (safer but more expensive) might be a domestic lift (eg Stilz). I don't need one yet but have been looking into it, and it could possibly add value to your house.

 

[karaokePete]

I was in a similar situation with my wife and we bit the bullet and moved to a bungalow.

We got lucky and got one in a quiet area and with nice neighbours.

No regrets.

 

[SkyeD]

As an alternative to the upheaval of moving, what about a bed downstairs and a commode? Even as a temporary measure.
Domestic lifts take up a lot of room in a house - my friend has been quoted 16 grand through the local authority (for their disabled daughter), and it would take up third of their living space when you factor in the amount of space needed for access if a wheelchair is needed.

 

[DaftDad]

As an alternative to the upheaval of moving, what about a bed downstairs and a commode? Even as a temporary measure.
Domestic lifts take up a lot of room in a house - my friend has been quoted 16 grand through the local authority (for their disabled daughter), and it would take up third of their living space when you factor in the amount of space needed for access if a wheelchair is needed.

Yes, installing such equipment is actually incredibly expensive and I was told putting in a stairlift would actually reduce the property's value, as the market for 3-bed semis is mainly families and they don't want a stairlift taking up space and being a potential hazard to children. Also, for anything other than a nice width, straight set of stairs, stairlifts are VERY expensive, the stairlift companies tell you lies by saying they can be resold at a later date (they can, but for peanuts). Also, a non-compliant/difficult adult with dementia might actually be at risk when using a stairlift, even if supervised/assisted.

My personal experience as a person with an acquired disability is that the best solution is to move to a more accessible home, if at all possible. But that was my experience.

 

[Andy63]

Not due to dementia, but my own physical access needs, we bit the bullet and moved to a bungalow last year, instead of trying to put in stairlifts or downstairs bathing facilities. It was an expensive move, but definitely worth it. If you can afford it, I would suggest moving, because even if your wife cannot remain at home for the longer term and needs residential care, your own needs might change over the forthcoming years, and in-home adaptations are very expensive and there is very limited funding now for Disabled Facilities Grants.

Be aware that moving house might make your wife's dementia worsen, as she will be somewhere new and unfamiliar.

Hi DaftDad
Yes, you make a good point. Any adaption I do will cost the same as moving and will make the house look a bit odd, so another negative. It would be better to sleep.on the same floor of Lesley too. I have been really struggling with this and your comments have been really helpful. Thank you.

 

[Andy63]

Would installing a stairlift work for your wife? Whole cheaper and less distraction!

Thanks for that idea. I had made enquiries and was informed it would unsuitable for Lesley

 

[Andy63]

Not due to dementia, but my own physical access needs, we bit the bullet and moved to a bungalow last year, instead of trying to put in stairlifts or downstairs bathing facilities. It was an expensive move, but definitely worth it. If you can afford it, I would suggest moving, because even if your wife cannot remain at home for the longer term and needs residential care, your own needs might change over the forthcoming years, and in-home adaptations are very expensive and there is very limited funding now for Disabled Facilities Grants.

Be aware that moving house might make your wife's dementia worsen, as she will be somewhere new and unfamiliar.

Would installing a stairlift work for your wife? Whole cheaper and less distraction!

 

[Andy63]

Thanks for the suggestion. I made enquiries and was told it would be sadly unsuitable for Lesley

 

[Grannie G]

I`d move to a bungalow @Andy63 but hope you would have family help and support to pack up and move.

I presume if you move to a bungalow you would be downsizing. This would involve getting rid of a lot of stuff.

 

[Andy63]

Stair lift sounds a good solution to me as well. Depending on your income and savings you may be entitled to a grant for it. Even if you have to pay you'll get vat relief and that can make a big difference.

Hi Blissey. Thanks for your comments. I have been informed a chair lift would be unsuitable for Lesley?

 

[Andy63]

Yes, installing such equipment is actually incredibly expensive and I was told putting in a stairlift would actually reduce the property's value, as the market for 3-bed semis is mainly families and they don't want a stairlift taking up space and being a potential hazard to children. Also, for anything other than a nice width, straight set of stairs, stairlifts are VERY expensive, the stairlift companies tell you lies by saying they can be resold at a later date (they can, but for peanuts). Also, a non-compliant/difficult adult with dementia might actually be at risk when using a stairlift, even if supervised/assisted.

My personal experience as a person with an acquired disability is that the best solution is to move to a more accessible home, if at all possible. But that was my experience.

Thank you DaftDad, you comments are very helpful and make a lot of sense

 

[Andy63]

I`d move to a bungalow @Andy63 but hope you would have family help and support to pack up and move.

I presume if you move to a bungalow you would be downsizing. This would involve getting rid of a lot of stuff.

Not downsizing too much, but still a good excuse to rid of 50 years of 'collecting' stuff!

 

[Andy63]

A stair lift would be fine as long as you are around to supervise its use. I know that companies might be reluctant to install a lift for someone with dementia is case they get confused about using it safely.
I think I agree with the idea of moving or at least seeing what's available. Round here bungalows are in short supply so it might take some time to find one that meets your needs/

Hi Sarasa. Yes, I was advised a chairlift would be unsuitable for Lesley. Thinking of getting a Bungalow in Bexhill (God's waiting Room🤣). They have good services there for the elderly

 

[Andy63]

Stair lift sounds a good solution to me as well. Depending on your income and savings you may be entitled to a grant for it. Even if you have to pay you'll get vat relief and that can make a big difference.

An alternative to a stairlift (safer but more expensive) might be a domestic lift (eg Stilz). I don't need one yet but have been looking into it, and it could possibly add value to your house.

Hi. I tried a friend's lift for Lesley and because of the confined space she went into a blind panic. Luckily we had not sent the lift up, just closed the door!

 

[Andy63]

I was in a similar situation with my wife and we bit the bullet and moved to a bungalow.

We got lucky and got one in a quiet area and with nice neighbours.

No regrets.

Thank you, reassuring comments.