Mom w/AFTD-dealing with aggression

[AprilX]

My mother threw a pen at my face and then slapped me because I'm following an attys advice not to write out checks to another family member. I have POA, I live with her, and am trying to do the right things by her. She doesn't agree. She cannot speak, barely understands writing. She Has no clue. She gets aggressive and acts out. I have to walk away. Her Dr. Prescribed her Paroxetine. It did not help. So I took her off it. Maybe I should try it again. This disease is terrible. I cannot put up with the abusive behavior. I don't know what to do here. Any advice?

 

[Grannie G]

Welcome to the forum @AprilX

It was a big mistake to take your mother off prescribed medication. Please go back to the doctor for advice.

When I found medication was not helping my husband, I always referred back to the doctor who tried a different dose or a different drug.

Dementia affects people in different ways and one form of medication does not help everyone.

I agree with you. Agression is unbearable Walking away is the best thing you can do.

Have a look at this link and see if it helps.

Compassionate Communication with the Memory Impaired

The following piece was posted a while ago on DSF and made a big impression on me. It is something I have referred to time after time and tried hard to follow. We have many new members who may not have seen it before. Yesterday I posted it on another Thread but thought it might be helpful if...

forum.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Bunpoots]

Welcome from me too @AprilX

I found the compassionate communication very helpful in reducing aggression and managing a person with dementia in general. I hope it helps you too.

If you wrote out a cheque could you destroy it while your mum wasn’t looking? Would removing the chequebook work in an “out of sight out of mind” sort of way?

I sometimes said I’d do things and then delayed and apologised until it was forgotten.

 

[canary]

Re the cheques, you said she can barely read writing now, so would she notice if you made the cheques payable to Micky Mouse?

With dementia you have to go with things that they will accept and not provoke them, even if it involves some subterfuge and isn't totally true. It's known on here as love lies, or Therapeutic Untruths, and is a major tool when caring for someone with dementia.