Yesterday, I had a complete mare of a day. My Mother-in-law has been really teary for a few days now and nothing lifts her spirits. She even refused to go to a hairdressers appointment (something that she loves) because she had to look after her invisible children. Rebooked the appointment for today and shes come out with lovely hair. She still really teary and shouting at the (invisible) children. She wanted to go out for a drink (she said she'd pay for drinks for everyone) but the (invisible) children didnt want to go. She then starts calling out for her dead daughter. Just sad.
Even better days are sad
- Thread starter Anjona
- Start date
Hello @Anjona, I think some of the most heart-breaking times for me when I was caring for my husband were those days when he became tearful.
It is awful for any carer witnessing this tearfulness and general upset in a loved one.
I found that, sometimes, these episodes could be triggered by UTIs, so it is always worth checking that out first. It wasn't always UTIs though, sometimes tweaks in medication were needed due to the progress of dementia.
Things improved a lot for my husband once he was started on a low dose of sertraline to help with depression and anxiety. Other than that, it was generally a case of trying as best I could to reassure through gentle gestures like a hug, holding hands, sympathetic chat.
I'm sorry you had such a mare of a day yesterday. You do a great job with your caring and I hope that things can become more settled for all concerned.
It is awful for any carer witnessing this tearfulness and general upset in a loved one.
I found that, sometimes, these episodes could be triggered by UTIs, so it is always worth checking that out first. It wasn't always UTIs though, sometimes tweaks in medication were needed due to the progress of dementia.
Things improved a lot for my husband once he was started on a low dose of sertraline to help with depression and anxiety. Other than that, it was generally a case of trying as best I could to reassure through gentle gestures like a hug, holding hands, sympathetic chat.
I'm sorry you had such a mare of a day yesterday. You do a great job with your caring and I hope that things can become more settled for all concerned.
The UTI stuff is hard as We cant get a test without speaking to a doctor and it is really hard to get even an appointment. Every single one we have done so far have come up with inconclusive results (later proved negative). thinking about buying some strips to do it ourselves. It would be helpful to know if anyone else had experience of this and know what to buy.
Hello @Anjona
I bought some test strips from Amazon - choosing one with a lot of good reviews. I used them when I was a little concerned. I would always however still contact GP if symptoms of UTI despite result as they’re not 100% reliable.
@sdmhred Thanks for the advice. Just put an order into Amazon.
Getting in touch with the GP is just so difficult. I ring up at 8am and sit in the queue and by the time my call is answered all the appointments are gone. In the past I used to go to the GP at 8am but it's hard with my mother-in-law in tow as there's no one to leave her with at that time. Then there the wait for the GP's phone call. Then the request for the sample. the the test. Then in general inconclusive results and another test and another inconclusive result and then another test. It's a process that lasts days and in the mean time there is the trying to manage the wanting to go out, the crying. Right now it seems endless.
Getting in touch with the GP is just so difficult. I ring up at 8am and sit in the queue and by the time my call is answered all the appointments are gone. In the past I used to go to the GP at 8am but it's hard with my mother-in-law in tow as there's no one to leave her with at that time. Then there the wait for the GP's phone call. Then the request for the sample. the the test. Then in general inconclusive results and another test and another inconclusive result and then another test. It's a process that lasts days and in the mean time there is the trying to manage the wanting to go out, the crying. Right now it seems endless.
♥️ It can feel endless I agree. I have no great words of wisdom but we are listening here.
I have been to see my loved one and they are still waiting for results from blood tests and are clearly still not 100% nothing but wait until Monday (even though they are in a residential home) we had no tears today but just overwhelming sadness. I went out for walk this afternoon maybe if you can get a break for a few hours xx
❤️ Thank You. Yes I have the 'pick me up please' snacks on standby usually crisps lol
