advice please

jay6

Registered User
Jun 25, 2023
1,075
0
I have been waiting for the district nurse to visit/phone for the last 3 weeks due to his incontinence but getting nowhere and have made numerous phone calls asking them to ring me. Will go to the surgery on Monday - thank you.
Well the incontinence thing is a different story. I've been trying to get referred for about 2 months. Think it's because it costs them money so they put it off. But did get a district nurse call when OH needed a blood test and I couldn't get him to surgery.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,116
0
Southampton
i feel a lot better but my husband looks like he is coming down with it now. lets hope not and he goes to the shed tomorrow. obviously if he does have it, im not going to let him spread around the shed. im keeping my fingers and everything else crossed.
 

jay6

Registered User
Jun 25, 2023
1,075
0
i feel a lot better but my husband looks like he is coming down with it now. lets hope not and he goes to the shed tomorrow. obviously if he does have it, im not going to let him spread around the shed. im keeping my fingers and everything else crossed.
Glad to hear you ae feeling better. Fingers crossed your husband hasn't caught it from you
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,116
0
Southampton
this is a bit ironic, got a phone call from the doctors to have my flu and covid jabs at home. im not well enough for them to come and now with my husband ill as well, i wouldnt want them to come and spread our flu.
just have to wait.
 

jay6

Registered User
Jun 25, 2023
1,075
0
this is a bit ironic, got a phone call from the doctors to have my flu and covid jabs at home. im not well enough for them to come and now with my husband ill as well, i wouldnt want them to come and spread our flu.
just have to wait.
Oh dear, typical!!
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,116
0
Southampton
Good afternoon @jennifer1967,

How are you both today?

Hope you're both okay

MaNaAk
good afternoon @MaNaAk hes a lot better and had a shower last night. its dragging on a bit for me. still trying to get things done. a case for the flu vaccine he had. they did phone and offer mer mine today but im not well so will be done a bit later. the scooter is fixed without a big price tag.
 

Susannah10

Registered User
Jan 15, 2023
11
0
we hit the capacity problem. as far as they are concerned he has capacity therefore they cant do anything. he can make a reasoned decision. he saw me cry and nothing. im going to speak to the GP so if we can get something to calm him down a bit. we have a new one this week which isnt ideal. i need to speak to him in the morning too. thank you
Hi I went through the same as you with my husband. I asked the Mental Health team to give me something to calm him down. They refused and things escalated I rang social services for respite and they could not find me anything. In the end social Services told me to call the Police but I wish I hadn't as he had to go into emergency respite and ended up a long way away. I would have been better if him going g into a Nursing Home had been better planned. Also as I found many places turned him down because of the violence. Even centres such as Barrowhill. Many places only take people in the early stages of dementia. I found it all very difficult. He is now in a Nursing Home 6 miles away which I found very difficult to adjust to and I visit every day but I have come to accept that with behaviour getting worse there is nothing more you can do. In the end I had to accept that 2 or 3 carers are needed 1 to 1 24 7 which is in place and I could not provide this for him. In my case he did deteriorate very quickly but it is impossible for one person to do it however much you want to but it is difficult to live with the behavior.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,116
0
Southampton
Hi I went through the same as you with my husband. I asked the Mental Health team to give me something to calm him down. They refused and things escalated I rang social services for respite and they could not find me anything. In the end social Services told me to call the Police but I wish I hadn't as he had to go into emergency respite and ended up a long way away. I would have been better if him going g into a Nursing Home had been better planned. Also as I found many places turned him down because of the violence. Even centres such as Barrowhill. Many places only take people in the early stages of dementia. I found it all very difficult. He is now in a Nursing Home 6 miles away which I found very difficult to adjust to and I visit every day but I have come to accept that with behaviour getting worse there is nothing more you can do. In the end I had to accept that 2 or 3 carers are needed 1 to 1 24 7 which is in place and I could not provide this for him. In my case he did deteriorate very quickly but it is impossible for one person to do it however much you want to but it is difficult to live with the behavior.
im lucky in that they gave him memantine in the end which has calmed him down. hes been on it 2 years nearly and it works well but i had to shout long and loud to get anything done. i had the added problem in that i was housebound and there is absolutely no services that deal with that. they offer respite and day centre but he refused and there was nothing else they could do.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,116
0
Southampton
hes still not well and now sounds like its gone into a chest infection. his chest is gurgling and is coughing up rubbish. he does have anti-bios in his rescue pack so ive started him on them. hes not going to the shed tomorrow. hes noit well and hes waking up coughing in the night so worn out. hopefully he will feel better soon otherwise it will be the doctor next.
 

SeaSwallow

Volunteer Moderator
Oct 28, 2019
6,271
0
Oh dear @jennifer1967 I am sorry to read this, don't take too long to contact the doctor if you are worried. I have found the out of hours doctors very helpful recently.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,313
0
Surrey
Oh dear 😢 Hope the abx kick in quickly for him Jennifer. At least you’ve had a good service from 111 in the past if
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
12,000
0
Essex
Dear @jennifer1967,

I'm so sorry to read this especially as you are not hundred percent yourself. I think you should start him on the antibiotics and consider dialling 111 if he gets worse. Try rubbing Vicks on his chest as well and also hot lemon.

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,116
0
Southampton
thank you. im going to leave it a couple of days and see if anti-bios kick in. thats all the doctor will do which is what they did before when they came out.
 

GillP

Registered User
Aug 11, 2021
3,922
0
@jennifer1967 , it’s so worrying when our loved ones are ill. Knowing what to do can be hard. It does take time for antibiotics to kick in so understand your hesitancy to call dr. I think that if he gets worse then you should consider it - sorry don’t mean to teach grandmother to suck eggs as the old saying goes! Try to get some rest yourself if it’s possible.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
24,116
0
Southampton
@jennifer1967 , it’s so worrying when our loved ones are ill. Knowing what to do can be hard. It does take time for antibiotics to kick in so understand your hesitancy to call dr. I think that if he gets worse then you should consider it - sorry don’t mean to teach grandmother to suck eggs as the old saying goes! Try to get some rest yourself if it’s possible.
you are not. just want to see if the anti-bios have any affect. with his COPD he is more susceptible to chest infections. its hard making decisions as to what to do/give and when. i think thats when the pressure of caring increases.
 

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