Worried my Grandad may have early dementia


New member
Dec 22, 2023
My Grandad is in his late 80s and I'm massively concerned he's showing early signs of dementia.

He's been having a lot of health issues over the last couple years with his heart, spending the last year having a low / erratic HR and experiencing lots of collapses.

He's always been a stubborn goat - so it took ages for him to finally go to hospital about his heart where he was finally fitted with a pacemaker but in that time he'd lost so much weight and was so weak. If he'd gone when the collapses initially started, a year prior we all can't help but feel he'd be in a much better place.

Since it took so long though, his health massively deteriorated - he used to love going out to play golf, driving nice cars, but following his heart issues he's been unable to do any of this now. So other than occasionally popping to the shops, he just sits in and watches Sports.

He always used to be very tech literate, alert, chatty but now he's just not. He struggles with tech, understanding texts, emails. We all find we're repeating ourselves to him a lot (he clearly has hearing issues but won't get an aid). And when you talk to him you can just see in his eyes he's struggling to understand or get our what he's trying to say, it's soul crushing but I don't want to always interject by trying to guess what he's trying to say, I don't want him feeling I don't think he can do it and give him a chance to get the words / thoughts out.

He's never been the happiest chappy, but he's getting so short and angry recently - a lot more swearing, swearing in public, in front of the family (I'm 26 but he's never been one for swearing in from of the younguns of the family). This has been causing a lot of strain w/ my Gran too as they're arguing all the time and he's getting up a height about all sorts of small things and has a developed an almost hated towards boxes. If anything comes into the house in a box, whether that be an order or a present, he has to bin boxes right away.

All of these really make me think he's developing dementia but will he hell see his GP about it - I'm really not sure what to do, so if anyone's had similar experience with these kinds of difficult conversations, please do let me know. This is all totally new to me and the rest of the family.

Thank you so much.


Registered User
Oct 21, 2019
So I would write down your concerns, and send that information to the GP. I would request he is called in for a ‘well man check up’.

Be aware if he is diagnosed with vascular dementia there is no treatment available. You just manage the symptoms.

The best advice is to get in help. I introduced the cleaner, carer and gardener as locals desperate for extra money ( so us helping them)!
I never disclosed how much they were actually being paid.

After diagnosis Attendance allowance is not means tested and could go towards that type of cost.

Getting a LPA‘s signed as soon as possible is very important. if you can only get one done then go for the money, without that life can be very difficult.

All information you could ever want for dementia is on this forum, the search bar at the top of the page will produce treasure.

I love the compassionate communication information.



Volunteer Moderator
Oct 28, 2019
Hello @Humdinger and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. I would agree with @Weasell - bullet point all of your concerns regarding your Granddad and either take them to the GP or email them and ask them to call him for a general consultation. Please be aware that the doctors will not talk to you but hopefully will take note of your concerns. Unfortunately there is not a lot else you can do to get your Granddad to the doctors if he refuses to go. Sometimes it is just waiting for a crisis to occur.
As well as applying for attendance allowance (you do not need a formal diagnosis to apply) and sorting out the LPA it would be a good idea to arrange a needs assessment for you Granddad and a carers assessment for whoever is looking after him but unfortunately all of this depends on the agreement of your Granddad.
Regarding the LPA, you could try explaining to him that if that is not in place and he loses capacity that someone would have to apply for Deputyship and that can be an ex;pensive process.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are getting on.