Hi everyone. I'm extremely worried about my Dad and not sure what to do. A couple of years ago he had spinal surgery and did not make as good a recovery as expected. He became extremely depressed. Given his age (77 at the time), his GP referred him to a neurologist. A scan was done, which showed an "appropriate" amount of white matter for a man of his age. He had slight memory problems at the time but nothing major at all. Fast forward to last June and he had a fall at home. I should say that he had cancer treatment many years ago that damaged the nerve endings in his feet and he has struggled with walking as a result ever since. He was taken to hospital following the fall and they did numerous tests but no real cause could be found. He was back up and walking around a few days later and was discharged home. He then fell again in September and ended up spending a week in hospital. Again, no cause could be found. He's been having private physio since and was making good progress with his strength and balance. He continued to be extremely depressed though and had tried numerous anti-depressants, all of which had side effects that were worse than the depression.
At the end of January this year he was sitting on the bed at home and slipped off it. He couldn't get himself back up so I went over to help my Mum get him up, which we managed between us. He went to bed for a few hours and then got up later that afternoon. He went to use the bathroom and again lost his balance and slipped to the floor. He then waited 6 hours for an ambulance, lying on the floor in an awkward small space. The ambulance crew managed to get him up and he was thereafter taken to hospital to be checked over. He spent 42 hours on a trolley in A&E before being admitted to a ward. Where he remained for 3 weeks. He had a couple of infections while in hospital which caused some confusion and some worrying symptoms (being convinced he'd seen people from the past working in the hospital, etc). He also became doubly incontinent, although this did clear. Once he had antibiotics this confusion cleared up and, besides being fed up of being in hospital, he was in generally good spirits and desperate to get home. He received no physiotherapy at all during this 3 weeks because of staffing issues. So naturally his mobility worsened. Because he'd spent 3 weeks lying down, they decided he needed to enter intermediate care for 6 weeks so he could have physio that would get his strength back up. We are now 7 weeks on and his mobility and mental state is declining rapidly. The intermediate care facility he is in is also short staffed so he's not had anywhere near the level of physio that he should have. He sits in a chair in a room with four bare beige walls, facing away from the window. He has had days where he's been in great spirits, making jokes etc. But over the last couple of weeks he has had some really bad days and it's almost like he's given up. He's clearly deeply depressed (he does have a long history of depression) and some days it's almost like we can't reach him. He sits and stares, starts sentences and doesn't finish them and just doesn't engaged with us at all.
The nursing home decided that he would be better off at home as hopefully being at home would improve his mental state. Steps have therefore been taken to make this happen. The dining room has been converted into a (hopefully) temporary bedroom for him and care package is in place and ready to go. He should have been coming home today. However, one of the doctors who visits the nursing home has now decided that cognition tests are needed, given the decline in Dad over the last couple of weeks. He had these tests yesterday and the results were mixed. They have therefore cancelled him coming home and have said the tests need to be repeated on Tuesday. They've also taken bloods, to check for a further infection. Yesterday I had a very upsetting discussion with one of the nurses who started suggesting that he could have dementia. My Dad was seen in the frailty clinic last year and was essentially given a clean bill of health. Referral to the memory clinic was not deemed necessary.
I guess my question is...... how can my Dad go into hospital at the end of January with all his faculties intact and now, 10 weeks later, he has days where he's lost in his own little world. Is this depression or is it indeed dementia? Can the impact on him be reversed or is this it now? I feel so devastated for my mum. She has essentially become a carer for him over the last 2 years and, whilst she's very strong, she's also nearly 80 herself. Their life is not at all what I thought it would look like for them right now and I'm terrified that things are only now going to get worse, not better. Is it possible that my dad could rally when he gets home and make a full recovery from this? I know noone has the answers but I'm not sure where else to turn right now.
Thanks for reading!
At the end of January this year he was sitting on the bed at home and slipped off it. He couldn't get himself back up so I went over to help my Mum get him up, which we managed between us. He went to bed for a few hours and then got up later that afternoon. He went to use the bathroom and again lost his balance and slipped to the floor. He then waited 6 hours for an ambulance, lying on the floor in an awkward small space. The ambulance crew managed to get him up and he was thereafter taken to hospital to be checked over. He spent 42 hours on a trolley in A&E before being admitted to a ward. Where he remained for 3 weeks. He had a couple of infections while in hospital which caused some confusion and some worrying symptoms (being convinced he'd seen people from the past working in the hospital, etc). He also became doubly incontinent, although this did clear. Once he had antibiotics this confusion cleared up and, besides being fed up of being in hospital, he was in generally good spirits and desperate to get home. He received no physiotherapy at all during this 3 weeks because of staffing issues. So naturally his mobility worsened. Because he'd spent 3 weeks lying down, they decided he needed to enter intermediate care for 6 weeks so he could have physio that would get his strength back up. We are now 7 weeks on and his mobility and mental state is declining rapidly. The intermediate care facility he is in is also short staffed so he's not had anywhere near the level of physio that he should have. He sits in a chair in a room with four bare beige walls, facing away from the window. He has had days where he's been in great spirits, making jokes etc. But over the last couple of weeks he has had some really bad days and it's almost like he's given up. He's clearly deeply depressed (he does have a long history of depression) and some days it's almost like we can't reach him. He sits and stares, starts sentences and doesn't finish them and just doesn't engaged with us at all.
The nursing home decided that he would be better off at home as hopefully being at home would improve his mental state. Steps have therefore been taken to make this happen. The dining room has been converted into a (hopefully) temporary bedroom for him and care package is in place and ready to go. He should have been coming home today. However, one of the doctors who visits the nursing home has now decided that cognition tests are needed, given the decline in Dad over the last couple of weeks. He had these tests yesterday and the results were mixed. They have therefore cancelled him coming home and have said the tests need to be repeated on Tuesday. They've also taken bloods, to check for a further infection. Yesterday I had a very upsetting discussion with one of the nurses who started suggesting that he could have dementia. My Dad was seen in the frailty clinic last year and was essentially given a clean bill of health. Referral to the memory clinic was not deemed necessary.
I guess my question is...... how can my Dad go into hospital at the end of January with all his faculties intact and now, 10 weeks later, he has days where he's lost in his own little world. Is this depression or is it indeed dementia? Can the impact on him be reversed or is this it now? I feel so devastated for my mum. She has essentially become a carer for him over the last 2 years and, whilst she's very strong, she's also nearly 80 herself. Their life is not at all what I thought it would look like for them right now and I'm terrified that things are only now going to get worse, not better. Is it possible that my dad could rally when he gets home and make a full recovery from this? I know noone has the answers but I'm not sure where else to turn right now.
Thanks for reading!
