I don't believe that you actually 'get over' losing a loved one, especially a spouse. I lost my dear husband last July. The pain remains, and is at times as intense as it was than.
My consolation is that I knew that I did all I could for him, and that our son and I were with him at the end, peacefully at home. I'm not a person to wear my heart on my sleeve, I can chat and even laugh at some things,and I imagine that people think that I'm coping really well with his loss, but they don't see me when I cry, and don't go out as I feel so alone and miserable. I have started to work in a charity shop, which does me good, and helps the charity of course.
I'm not a 'club' person, my husband and I did everything together, seeing close friends from time to time, walking was our main hobby, which we loved. So the thought of joining groups isn't for me, but thankfully I have a few close friends who are keeping me going.
We all cope in different ways, the one horror I have is of giving people the wrong idea, that I don't feel my grief, but then does it matter what they think. I have his casket in a drawer on his side of the bed, and his photo by my bedside, to feel closer to him, and wish him good morning every day. I get some comfort from that.
One of the worst things he said to me near the end, when I entered the bedroom was 'why did we fall out' ? I said that we hadn't fallen out, his reply was 'no, why did we EVER fall out'. That will always live with me.