I haven’t been on here for a while. My darling husband died last December at the age of just 56 after a battle with young onset Alzheimer’s disease. It is nearly 10 months ago but it feels like yesterday. I have had counselling and am on anti depressants but nothing helps. I can’t move forward. It miss him so much but more than that, I feel so sad that he had such a large part of his life stolen from him. He was the most loving and generous person I have ever known. I try to fill my days with seeing friends but mostly just sit and watch television. It is escapism for a while. I can’t muster up another enthusiasm for joining any groups or volunteering. I am just a mess who misses the life I once had with a wonderful person. People tell me it will get better and I will be able to look back and smile about the life we had together but it isn’t getting any better. Sometimes I feel guilty because I couldn’t always deal with the incontinence, the sun downing and the challenges that caring for a person with Alzheimer’s brings with a cheery heart but I would give anything to be able to carry on caring for him. Life is so cruel.