Reading all these letters is like reading about myself. I am in a miserable hole and cannot bring myselt out of it. My husband died suddenly in May this year, after 11 years of dementia. I would not want to wish him back to suffer anymore, but if i could just visit and give hime a hug it would mean everything. It is the knowing that I will never see him again or talk to him or touch him that is just so difficult to come to terms with. Since he died I have put on a stone in weight because I cannot motivate myself to do anything more than I have to. I have friends and we meet and have lunch sometimes, we talk on the phone and I do try to do things, but nothing can lift my mood. I don't feel that i have a life but it is my own fault. Just can't pull myself together so to speak. I can sympathise with you all.xx