Well today's not going great so far. Mum is at her house on her own and hubby and I are back home after dropping shopping off and giving her sertraline tablets and are now on tenterhooks wondering what to do next and when we'll have to go back to mums. I've just ben sat here stewing on things and Hubby took some gaviscon and went for a lie down as he's in pain again with indigestion/heartburn type pain which pretty sure is stress related as he's not happy about how today is going bless him. So I don't want to ring mum yet in case hubby asleep and I have to wake him to take me back and upset him but I don't want to leave it too late for mums lunch.
Mum was fine on phone to my sister this morning, had bit of a chat, told sis been to DRs yesterday and took more blood but then she started to slip a bit. She told sis she thought she'd seen dad wanting to come in house on wednesday but it couldn't be him cos he's dead but she was laughing about it. Then she told sis she'd stopped 'friend' coming cos mum only got her pension and 'friend' kept staying for dinner and she never did owt, if mum was cleaning 'friend' would just come and sit down. Then after that said no one had seen 'friend' for ages, named my hubby and said he's got someone else now so maybe 'friend' gone off with W (my dad) she was always after him and mum didn't know why cos he was useless. Mum told sis she might do some weeding this morning then come to mine and she was off to get in shower. She'd had a great sleep and not got up till after 8.
It didn't sound too bad a start but then mum rang me just before I was going to ring her to say setting off over. I said hello mum and mum said Where were you all day yesterday! I said I was with you mum most of the day. Mum said And where was that? I said I came to yours in morning and we went to DRs in afternoon then we went back to yours and I made dinner and left a bit after 7. Mum said Oh I'm sorry love I'm so sorry I thought you'd not been I thought it was someone else took me to hospital and you'd not been but it was DRs weren't it and you took me Oh I am sorry I'm mental. I told her she wasn't just sometimes forgot bits it didn't matter and then tried change subject. Mum went over hubby coming and a few bits and said she was sorry again but then I manged to get he off subject and told her I had just been going to ring her cos we were going to pick click & collect up and go over. Mum said Oh lovely and asked if she could come to mine and I said course she could. Mum told me she loved me and I said loved her and then we were saying bye ready to hang up when mum said Did our Andrea not come with me yesterday though? I said I am Andrea mum I did come with you. Oh am I talking to our Andrea I said yes and mum said oh ok sorry love. I said no worries I'll see you in bout 3/4 an hour. We said bye but mum must have just put phone down without hanging up, I always wait to hang up till hear dial tone as she forgets sometimes. I was saying mum you've not put phone down and in between I could hear mum say So our Andrea is with -(hubby) now , I thought -(hubby) was with someone else. I shouted mum you've not hung up and she pressed button and hung up.
Mum rang my mobile just over 10 minutes later. Said she wasn't going to come today she'd got upset tummy. I asked when that had happened and she said she went once this morning and thought that was it but had just got cup of tea and gone again and was diarrhoea. So she better not come to my house cos she didn't want to be going there in front of hubby so she'd see me another day. I told her we were just on way to tesco and so we'd drop shopping off and give her her tablets and why didn't we see how she was then cos sometimes she goes once and that's it and feels better a bit after so mum said Oh ok then we'll do that.
When we got there she said hello but looked subdued. After took shopping in kitchen I washed my hands and took mum water and tablets. She said I don't know if should take these, I told her they didn't affect her tummy and she had take them every day. Then she said her usual she's been saying for last month since dose increased, I only have one don't I? I said no you have two now mum. She took them asked how much shopping was and then said I'm not being nasty but I don't want you to stay. I don't want to be going to toilet in front of -(hubby) I said Ok hubby can go home and I can just stay cos you're alright with me here and she said No you go as well I don't want anybody here am ok on my own. I said I'll go if you really want but I'll come back later to bring your tablet and make you something to eat. She made usual suggestion of just leave tablet on fireplace and I'll take it. I said I can't do that mum but let's not argue about it I'll just come back later and mum said Ok.
I went in kitchen and wiped shopping with hubby and put it away and then when we went back in room mum paid for shopping and said I want yer to go now am alright on my own. I offered to stay and mum said no cos she might go to sleep. I asked why, was she tired? and she said she'd been up cos of diarrhoea. I said you didn't start with it till half hour ago mum and she said Oh didn't I start last night? I said don't think so and told her she'd told sis she had great sleep and was coming to mine and had rung me bout half ten and asked to come to mine and then rang about half hour ago to say just been loo. Mum said Oh right. So I said Shall I stay for bit and see if you feel better soon and hubby can take our shopping home and if you feel better he can come back for us or I can stay here with you. Mum said No I want you both go I'm alright on my own. I said Are you sure, and mum said she was, so i said Ok I'll go now then but I'll ring you in an hour see how you are and I'll come back and fetch your tablet when you have something to eat. Mum said it's nearly lunch time now. So I said Do you want your lunch now? Mum said No but you don't have come back just leave tablet and I'll do it. I said I can't mum but I don't mind coming back later and she got snappy then and said I can take a bloody tablet just leave it on there and go. I said I'm not arguing about it mum I'm not wanting to upset you I'll just come give you tablet with your lunch and if you want I'll go again straight after. Mum said JUST GO and leave me my tablet. I said OK mum sorry I'll go. She shouted Give me my tablets.
So I told her I wasn't leaving them cos she can't take it herself, which mum said she could, I said mum even when I give it you as your about to have lunch and say take that when finished your sandwich with some water you forget all about it by time eaten lunch. I had tried it every day bar friday this week just to see how she fared and she forgot it everytime, including one day when she was got up to go in kitchen with plate to empty crusts and crisp packet in bin and fetch a biscuit and she had left tablet on plate so it would have gone in bin if I had not reminded her it was there. So I daren't leave her with it to take on her own. Mum said I was talking rubbish and just go. I said Ok I'll see you later. Mum said I don't want you to come back today, I said I have to but I'll not stay if you don't want. Mum said I'll lock you out so just give me my tablets. I said I can't leave them mum but I don't want to upset you so I'll go and I'll see you later. Mum shouted Just bloody go and don't come back later.
I was annoyed and frustrated cos I don't want to spend day going back and forth dragging hubby out to drive me so said I'm not trying to upset you mum I'm trying look after you but I don't want to go all way home to come back later, mum said don't come back later then I don't want you to. I said No but I'll have to, I know what'll happen cos it keeps happening you say want to see me and want to come to my house then I turn up you don't want to come and don't want to see me and then later you'll be upset cos think I've not been and want to see me. Mum said she wouldn't and didn't so Just bloody go . So I said Ok and we left.
And I was really annoyed at myself for trying to explain and reason and telling mum what happens as she won't understand and she was just het up and on her own now and won't remember why not there just that I'm not and she's annoyed at me.
Hubby has just come down and is feeling bit better now so going to ring mum and see how is. If she's already eaten or won't let me go back for lunch her galantamine will have to wait till dinner time again. I just feel dread ringing wondering how she'll be and how rest of day will go.
Today is hubby and I's 28th wedding anniversary what a way to spend it poor hubby must wonder why the hell he married me lately.
Mum was fine on phone to my sister this morning, had bit of a chat, told sis been to DRs yesterday and took more blood but then she started to slip a bit. She told sis she thought she'd seen dad wanting to come in house on wednesday but it couldn't be him cos he's dead but she was laughing about it. Then she told sis she'd stopped 'friend' coming cos mum only got her pension and 'friend' kept staying for dinner and she never did owt, if mum was cleaning 'friend' would just come and sit down. Then after that said no one had seen 'friend' for ages, named my hubby and said he's got someone else now so maybe 'friend' gone off with W (my dad) she was always after him and mum didn't know why cos he was useless. Mum told sis she might do some weeding this morning then come to mine and she was off to get in shower. She'd had a great sleep and not got up till after 8.
It didn't sound too bad a start but then mum rang me just before I was going to ring her to say setting off over. I said hello mum and mum said Where were you all day yesterday! I said I was with you mum most of the day. Mum said And where was that? I said I came to yours in morning and we went to DRs in afternoon then we went back to yours and I made dinner and left a bit after 7. Mum said Oh I'm sorry love I'm so sorry I thought you'd not been I thought it was someone else took me to hospital and you'd not been but it was DRs weren't it and you took me Oh I am sorry I'm mental. I told her she wasn't just sometimes forgot bits it didn't matter and then tried change subject. Mum went over hubby coming and a few bits and said she was sorry again but then I manged to get he off subject and told her I had just been going to ring her cos we were going to pick click & collect up and go over. Mum said Oh lovely and asked if she could come to mine and I said course she could. Mum told me she loved me and I said loved her and then we were saying bye ready to hang up when mum said Did our Andrea not come with me yesterday though? I said I am Andrea mum I did come with you. Oh am I talking to our Andrea I said yes and mum said oh ok sorry love. I said no worries I'll see you in bout 3/4 an hour. We said bye but mum must have just put phone down without hanging up, I always wait to hang up till hear dial tone as she forgets sometimes. I was saying mum you've not put phone down and in between I could hear mum say So our Andrea is with -(hubby) now , I thought -(hubby) was with someone else. I shouted mum you've not hung up and she pressed button and hung up.
Mum rang my mobile just over 10 minutes later. Said she wasn't going to come today she'd got upset tummy. I asked when that had happened and she said she went once this morning and thought that was it but had just got cup of tea and gone again and was diarrhoea. So she better not come to my house cos she didn't want to be going there in front of hubby so she'd see me another day. I told her we were just on way to tesco and so we'd drop shopping off and give her her tablets and why didn't we see how she was then cos sometimes she goes once and that's it and feels better a bit after so mum said Oh ok then we'll do that.
When we got there she said hello but looked subdued. After took shopping in kitchen I washed my hands and took mum water and tablets. She said I don't know if should take these, I told her they didn't affect her tummy and she had take them every day. Then she said her usual she's been saying for last month since dose increased, I only have one don't I? I said no you have two now mum. She took them asked how much shopping was and then said I'm not being nasty but I don't want you to stay. I don't want to be going to toilet in front of -(hubby) I said Ok hubby can go home and I can just stay cos you're alright with me here and she said No you go as well I don't want anybody here am ok on my own. I said I'll go if you really want but I'll come back later to bring your tablet and make you something to eat. She made usual suggestion of just leave tablet on fireplace and I'll take it. I said I can't do that mum but let's not argue about it I'll just come back later and mum said Ok.
I went in kitchen and wiped shopping with hubby and put it away and then when we went back in room mum paid for shopping and said I want yer to go now am alright on my own. I offered to stay and mum said no cos she might go to sleep. I asked why, was she tired? and she said she'd been up cos of diarrhoea. I said you didn't start with it till half hour ago mum and she said Oh didn't I start last night? I said don't think so and told her she'd told sis she had great sleep and was coming to mine and had rung me bout half ten and asked to come to mine and then rang about half hour ago to say just been loo. Mum said Oh right. So I said Shall I stay for bit and see if you feel better soon and hubby can take our shopping home and if you feel better he can come back for us or I can stay here with you. Mum said No I want you both go I'm alright on my own. I said Are you sure, and mum said she was, so i said Ok I'll go now then but I'll ring you in an hour see how you are and I'll come back and fetch your tablet when you have something to eat. Mum said it's nearly lunch time now. So I said Do you want your lunch now? Mum said No but you don't have come back just leave tablet and I'll do it. I said I can't mum but I don't mind coming back later and she got snappy then and said I can take a bloody tablet just leave it on there and go. I said I'm not arguing about it mum I'm not wanting to upset you I'll just come give you tablet with your lunch and if you want I'll go again straight after. Mum said JUST GO and leave me my tablet. I said OK mum sorry I'll go. She shouted Give me my tablets.
So I told her I wasn't leaving them cos she can't take it herself, which mum said she could, I said mum even when I give it you as your about to have lunch and say take that when finished your sandwich with some water you forget all about it by time eaten lunch. I had tried it every day bar friday this week just to see how she fared and she forgot it everytime, including one day when she was got up to go in kitchen with plate to empty crusts and crisp packet in bin and fetch a biscuit and she had left tablet on plate so it would have gone in bin if I had not reminded her it was there. So I daren't leave her with it to take on her own. Mum said I was talking rubbish and just go. I said Ok I'll see you later. Mum said I don't want you to come back today, I said I have to but I'll not stay if you don't want. Mum said I'll lock you out so just give me my tablets. I said I can't leave them mum but I don't want to upset you so I'll go and I'll see you later. Mum shouted Just bloody go and don't come back later.
I was annoyed and frustrated cos I don't want to spend day going back and forth dragging hubby out to drive me so said I'm not trying to upset you mum I'm trying look after you but I don't want to go all way home to come back later, mum said don't come back later then I don't want you to. I said No but I'll have to, I know what'll happen cos it keeps happening you say want to see me and want to come to my house then I turn up you don't want to come and don't want to see me and then later you'll be upset cos think I've not been and want to see me. Mum said she wouldn't and didn't so Just bloody go . So I said Ok and we left.
And I was really annoyed at myself for trying to explain and reason and telling mum what happens as she won't understand and she was just het up and on her own now and won't remember why not there just that I'm not and she's annoyed at me.
Hubby has just come down and is feeling bit better now so going to ring mum and see how is. If she's already eaten or won't let me go back for lunch her galantamine will have to wait till dinner time again. I just feel dread ringing wondering how she'll be and how rest of day will go.
Today is hubby and I's 28th wedding anniversary what a way to spend it poor hubby must wonder why the hell he married me lately.