Thats a lot to take on at young age, no wonder you were sad about it x Lot for you too
@Woo2 x
Not a great day overall today
@Bikerbeth and
@Woo2 Did some cleaning but it caused a right hooha Mum was ok then flipped and suddenly wasn't.
Fine when got there colouring, thought I'd try suggest cleaning so I said Are we cleaning today? Mum said Oh I don't know why? I said You changed your bed yesterday and said we'd clean up today. So mum said Oh ok then we can do.
I started dusting in room and suggested mum start in bedroom, she popped in to ask where polish was and what I was doing and all was fine. I got hoover and she told me I need to take cushions off sofa as she'd probably dropped crisps. During it mum wanted to go in porch and joked I'd booby trapped her route as I'd put cushions there. She washed front door, came back and joked again about cushions as I'd moved on to other one and blocked other door.
She went into kitchen for a while, I finished room, did bedroom and went into hallway. Mum was in kitchen and said something about there being nothing on floor but when I asked what? she said never mind. I hoovered through door, went to get plug and start, mum shouted What are you doing now? I said Just hoovering kitchen and smiled. Mum said Why, you've already done it once. I said I only came in door I've not done kitchen yet, I won't be long and smiled again. She flounced out. I don't know why but she'd gone from happy and jokey to annoyed and mad.
I finished and went in room smiling. I mentioned weather to get her chatting. She gave me dirty look and sat glaring at me. I smiled again trying to defuse things. Mum said Don't smile at me!! I asked Why whats a matter? and off she went. Don't you come in my house cleaning if I want my bl### house cleaning I'll bl#### clean it myself I don't need you coming in here doing it you can just get out and go home! I said Why are you angry mum we were joking a few minutes ago and both cleaning.
We had about 10 minutes of mum saying she hadn't been joking and hadn't been cleaning, I'd just come in and done her cleaning, who was I to do that in her house, she could do it herself. I tried explain she had said we'd clean today, I hadn't just started I'd asked first, she was doing it too and we'd been joking about it. She denied it all, said I just came and did it, acted like she was dirty and if I didn't like it I could just take myself off out of there and go. I told her again what I'd said, what we'd done and she shouted NO! then went quiet.
I thought let her calm down a bit, we sat in silence for 10 minutes and she started again. I said I'm sorry I upset you mum I wasn't meaning to I was just trying to help. She said she didn't need my help, I wasn't helping I was making out she was dirty and just did it. I tried explain again but she denied doing anything or agreeing to us cleaning. She said I'm not dirty I changed my bed yesterday! I said I know that's when you said would do rest today. Mum said I was going to clean kitchen and bathroom today so there! I said Ok that's good. She said So I'm not dirty, but you stopped me. I asked How did I stop you? Mum said Because you came and just started doing things. I said I didn't, when I came you were sat colouring and I asked if we were cleaning today cos you said we would yesterday, I didn't stop you doing anything.
Mum stomped off to bathroom took shower curtain down came to door and said Look I'm washing this so there! Made a big fuss of taking everything out of bathroom into kitchen. She said Are you going home then I said No. Mum went back in bathroom with cif and cloth banging about for few minutes then came out again and said You're on about me not cleaning how do you know you haven't even rung me for weeks. I said I come every day mum. She said You don't, when did you last come before today? So I told her yesterday and she had me go through what time I came and left every day this week. She'd sat down by time I finished week and she said Oh I'm sorry. I said Thank you.
She asked why I was telling her when to clean and I said I had asked her because she'd talked about it yesterday and it hadn't been done for a while. She said it had, then asked me how long I thought it had been. It was 29th april last time hoovered and cleaned and 5th may she had dusted living room. Mum used her usual excuse of age and not being up to cleaning all time like used to. I said That's why I offered to help, I'm happy to do it for you or with you. Then other excuse, There's only me in house it doesn't get dirty. I said in 2 weeks mum even an empty house gets dusty, you said yourself when I was hoovering you drop crumbs. I'm here everyday, carers come twice a week and hubby comes most days too so it's not just you.
She had calmed down a bit but still not happy, said I shouldn't be telling her its dirty and it wasn't, where was the dirt? I said It isn't now we've just cleaned but it was dusty mum. She told me I made her feel like I thought she was filthy and stupid for not doing it and I shouldn't be telling her to clean her house. I said Sorry I don't mean to upset you mum. I told her in past she'd told me to tell her if she ever got dirty or her house did. She'd go mad at me or sis if our house hadn't been cleaned for a fortnight. She used to always clean and so I was just trying to remind her and help her keep that way. She went over it a few more times, asked why I had done some today, I reminded her what we'd said before and during and eventually she calmed down.
She went back to bathroom and I thought I'd leave her to it unless she asked for help and let things calm. After few minutes she came out with something, I didn't look up and Mum said Are you going home? I said No, Mum said Well you might as well cos you've got a face like a busted clog. I'd thought we were on road to being ok so was bit disgruntled by her saying that. I said Well you've just been getting on at me for last 1/2 hour mum, She said Oh. I tried make it a bit jokey and said You don't look so smiley yourself Mum said No I bet I don't and then smiled.
She went back to cleaning bathroom, she asked me same question 12 times in 15 minutes about shower seat cover then paused a bit and went on to asking about limescale on shower lead so I went in to see. She went off to get cif to clean it even though had one in bathroom already. She noticed washer was done and said she was going to empty it. She walked up and down hall a few times as if not sure what doing. I gently reminded her about washing and went in kitchen with her. Mum said When I've put washing out shall we just have our lunch and I'll finish bathroom later? I said Do you want me to finish bathroom while you do washing so we can move all this and have room to make lunch? Mum agreed, she said she'd cleaned everything stuff just needed putting back. She'd only done shower, tiles and seat so I cleaned rest and put everything back apart from things that go on floor as mum said she was going to mop it later.
I finished just as mum was starting to get things out for lunch and was getting bit mixed up with what needed so I steered her to making tea while I did sandwiches. We put tv on with lunch and were fine. Mum forgot all about washing floor and when she saw things in hall later she asked why they were there. I told her and she said Oh I'll do it tomorrow or tonight maybe so she had me put them back. She brought shower curtain in but was struggling putting it up so I offered and she said Oh yes, thank you love you are good.
She was in better mood but I think still not settled, mid afternoon she said Our (my sister) never bothered to ring me when (my dad) died, she dint care how I felt. I reminded her we knew before sis and we'd told her. Mum was talking as if with dad recently and saying she should have been one told so I reminded her they'd split up etc.
I think she must have been feeling insecure or something this afternoon because bit later she said that 2 neighbours had palled up and she'd got no one and it wasn't fair. I reminded her she hadn't wanted to be that pally with them and she agreed.
A few minutes after that she said Am I missing one? I asked Missing what? Mum said Well I can't have our (sis) cos she's up there and I've got you but is there another one? I asked if she meant another kid and she said yes, I said No, but mum said Oh Yes it's our Andrea I'm missing. I said No mum I'm Andrea, you only have 2 kids me and sis. She said Did I not have 3, Oh I should have had another, I could have had a boy. Then she asked if I was Our Andrea, Her Andrea? and when I said Yes, asked me if I loved her. I said Yes and mum said Good.
A few minutes after that she said Didn't I have a friend? I said she'd had a few over years. Mum said Oh I know who it is its 'friend' and hubby. I wonder if hubby is still with her off our street. I've not seen 'friend' for ages I wonder who she's with now. I tried just mm-ing but she asked me to answer her so I told her she'd not seen them since her and dad split up but sometimes mixes me and hubby up with them. Mum said I saw friends hubby with woman off our street other day didn't I? or was it you? I said Me.
She was quiet for a minute then asked what she was having for dinner today. Quick change or what! We talked about that and then a bit after she asked Is it Saturday tomorrow and said she might ask our Andrea if she could go to her house tomorrow. I said You can mum. Mum said Are you our Andrea? I said Yes, mum smiled and said OK. Sat for few minutes and then said So you're our Andrea, Yep. And you've been coming every day. Yep. Oh you're a good girl.
Apart from asking hubby if he was married to our Andrea while I was in kitchen putting dinner out and staring at me every so often after dinner, she was ok rest of time we were there and we left about 7.
Its been quite a stressful and odd day at times hope yours have been ok x