Who am I ? I won't know myself soon!!!

[annielou]

Thanks for replies @Bikerbeth @imthedaughter @canary @Woo2 xxxx
The 3rd child thing is odd isn’t it. I think in mums case its that she's looking for someone to be with her and a lot of the time isn’t sure who I am either so sometimes like yesterday she think Our Andrea is 3rd child or the other one. She asks about other child, and if got a friend and often says I’ve got nobody only you. I think she wants someone with her all time, and sometimes she realises one person (me) can’t do that and she thinks if had a friend or another child or a man she’d have enough people to do it. I hate that she worries about being on her own and feels lonely.
My mum was very house proud, always clean and tidy. Yes, it was very much part of her personality. She still tells people I'm always cleaning, I like to be tidy I can't stand mess. I think she believes it too, but then as she can't remember what she does and doesn't do and lives a lot of time thinking old memories are current I suppose she would. I thought asking if 'we' were cleaning so I was including her and we were doing it together and saying it like it was her request day before might help her go along with it and at first it did but then she switched. She has done that few times before, been ok for a while and then got annoyed. She must suddenly realise that I'm doing it not her and get uncomfortable and annoyed by it. I don't know a way round it other than never mentioning it and having to visit a dirty house and I don't want to do that.
I'm not sure if she'd accept carers doing anything, one has started doing her ironing most weeks although mum tries to put her off and often tells her there isn't any and she often doesn't let them wash up after dinner either as she can do that. It may be worth asking care company if could try adding that in though, at first I said mum says she does cleaning and I try to get her to do it or let me do it when I'm there and she often gets angry so carers didn't need to try. It was easier when she went to day centre cos if she'd not done things all week I could go back to hers earlier and do it before she got back. Now I'm never there without her as she doesn't go out only to my house with me and hubby.
I find the thing of them always being right and whatever's wrong must be you cos it can't be them really frustrating. You would think I'd be used to it though as my pre alzheimers mum has always had to be right, even when she wasn't she wouldn't admit it. She would either pretend she was and sulk and leave it to me to make things right, or she'd sulk a bit less and then act like the thing never happened, but she would NEVER admit she was wrong. At least in the past though I could prove I hadn't done what she thought, or could prove I was right and even though she didn't admit it and often made me suffer by not talking to me for a while anyway, at some point she would realise she was wrong and let it go. Now I don't think she ever believes she's got it wrong and will argue till she gets tired or she loses her thread. I hate the fact that although she can't always remember why or what it was about, she might remember we'd argued and I'd upset her, or as she often says, that I've told her off for not doing something.
My sister rang her this morning for weekly call and she said mum was in good spirits. Mum told her she hoped I was going to take her some shopping but she didn't know because she didn't see owt of me.
Thanks for the hugs ? here’s one for anyone in need of one x hope we all have good days

 

[annielou]

It was an ok day today although mum was quite confused. She wanted to come over to our house today and when she was getting ready you could really tell she can't concentrate for long and how confused she gets when doing something. She was going to bring her colouring book and pencils with her and she kept picking wrong books up, kept saying don't think thats my book I think it's our Andies, she looked for pencil case after just got it a few times, couldn't remember where bag n shoes kept,going back and forth in and out of rooms, have I locked door where's my keys multiple times. It took her quite a while to get ready to go with us prompting her, without us I'm not sure how long she'd have taken bless her.
In the car we were chatting about eurovision and I put a song on youtube on my phone and we were singing and laughing and car dancing to it. Then we talked about a song I used to love and I put that on and we were still singing along to that when we pulled up at our house, neighbours probably thought we'd lost it as we were singing it coming down path and when we got inside washing our hands. It was nice to see mum laughing and spend a few minutes just being silly and not thinking about dementia or anything related to it.
She went back to being quite confused most of the day though, she was talking about Our Andrea as if I wasn't sat in room with her. She kept telling us she thought her colouring book was our Andreas. We'd say it was hers and she'd say she thought our Andrea had brought it. I'd say I did mum but I brought it for you. She'd say I thought our Andrea brought it and it was hers. We had that a few times.
Then a thing about bills came on tv and mum said I haven't got as many bills now cos my kids have gone. Our Andies gone now too, they were married but she stayed with me buts she's gone now. I haven't been to the house though.
On and off through afternoon mum would say things about her mums house and seemed to think she had been living there and her mum had only died recently. First time she said I hope our (her brother) hasn't emptied house cos it's got my stuff in it and I don't even know where he lives now. About half hour after that she said I should go home now cos our (brother) might have emptied house and I've got nowhere to live. Then a bit later she said I best go home check our (other brother) hasn't emptied house of my stuff. Each time we told her it was all sorted long time ago, she didn't have any stuff anywhere except her house and hadn't been living with her mum since she was 19 etc. Later on she kept asking if she could afford her rent, should she ask them how much it was going to be and did she need to tell anyone she lived there. She'd ask questions, we'd give her answers and she'd eventually go oh right oh good and then a little while later she'd ask again.
It was a day of confused questions but luckily she didn't get angry or upset about anything.

 

[Starting on a journey]

Oh bless, all those thoughts and they are a worry to her. I guess at some point she had real worries, as we have all had at some time in our lives, about bill paying and it’s now amplified. At least you can provide the reassurance she needs.

Just a pity she didn’t quite know who you are as that would be calming if she knew you were Andrea. Hoping that today is calm and maybe a few more songs and car dancing!!

 

[Bikerbeth]

I think I started allowing an hour at least for Mum to get organised before we could go anywhere (longer If she was not dressed). Initially I would get impatient and then of course realised this made it worse.
So glad you had a good sing along in the car and up the path into the house. Hopefully you raised a smile for the neighbours too.
I am also glad for you and your Mum that there was no upset or anger.

 

[annielou]

Thanks @Starting on a journey @Bikerbeth xx
Bills and money used to be something my mum and dad constantly argued about as dad was terrible with money, if he had it he spent it and didn't think about tomorrow, he was always getting in bother with bills. He gave mum her housekeeping money for food every week and he didn't expect her to have opinion on what he did with rest. When him and mum split up mum had to go on income support till she got a job and then it was very low paid one so she struggled a bit but always managed to pay her bills. She moved to smaller house after few years which helped and though she didn't have much spare she had enough to manage a bit better. She stopped smoking after she retired about 11/12 years ago and is actually better off now than she's ever been as she always has a little spare money after bills each week. She's always done a much better job of paying her bills than dad ever did but she often forgets she's been on her own so she worries she won't manage. Sometimes I'll tell her she does a better job at it than dad ever did, or I was proud of how she coped when they split up and since or I'll joke and say your a strong independent woman.
There's no rushing them is there. Yesterday I think it was about half an hour for mum to get a colouring book and pencil case, shoes and bag, coat and keys and check back door with lots of smiles and encouraging that's it mum, that ones yours, you've already got it you just need your shoes now, your shoes are in bottom of wardrobe, I've checked back door yes mum, yep thats right key.
She's always confused now and it's not nice to see, she was a bit fidgety yesterday afternoon and stopped colouring when she'd been asking questions for a while so she must have been a bit anxious, but luckily she didn't get really upset or angry about things and thats easier to cope with for all of us.
?today is ok

 

[Woo2]

Mum too can’t be rushed , she takes forever and a day to get ready , I know now to allow plenty of time , yesterday she had a wash 4 times in an hour . Hope today ok for you . ?

 

[annielou]

Mum too can’t be rushed , she takes forever and a day to get ready , I know now to allow plenty of time , yesterday she had a wash 4 times in an hour . Hope today ok for you . ?

Oh bless ?bet she was sparkling afterwards ? Hope u av good day today x

 

[Woo2]

Well I’m not sure she used any soap thanks , you too.?

 

[annielou]

Oh dear that's a shame @Woo2 but I guess sadly its very possible ?

 

[annielou]

Not a good afternoon today. Mum came over to ours again and was happily colouring this afternoon while tv was on and then about half three she sat up straight and said Oh I've just thought I bet Our (oldest brother) has been and emptied house. I explained it had all been sorted long time ago and she said Oh good and went back to colouring.
Hubby came in from gardening a little bit later so I made us a cup of tea and was just thinking about going to start prepping potatoes etc for dinner when mum said again I bet our (oldest brother) has been and emptied house I best go home and check. So I explained again it had all been sorted and she didn't live with her mum and she had her own house. She set off mixing all sorts up, she didn't believe us and wanted to go home to ring her other brother to check. She agreed her mum had been dead a long time and she lived where she lived, but she still wanted to go home and check with her brother that he hadn't emptied house and got rid of all her stuff. Hubby and I tried to get her to stay for dinner and at one point she was going to but then she started again on needing to ask brother if emptied house and wanting to go home and check.
She said she didn't need us to take her she could walk, I explained she couldn't walk it's too far, but mum said as she often does, I walk up here all the time. She didn't believe us that we brought her in car and it's too far to walk and she put her shoes and coat on ready to go. The doors were locked so she couldn't get out, but she went and stood by back door. I tried to persuade her to stay a bit but she said she wanted to go home and she'd go herself. I told her Ok we'll take you home mum but she said she'd go on her own we didn't need to take her. She didn't know where our house was in relation to hers, or her address, but she thought she could walk there. She started getting a bit angry and shouty and I know I shouldn't but I did shout back and say You can't walk home mum it's too far and you don't know way. She just shouted back Well I know where my mums house is though. She doesn't, and even if she did I doubt she could walk there it would take a couple of hours and her mum hasn't lived there for 45 years but she thought she did and she kept telling me I didn't need to take her she could walk.
I said again that we'd take her and went to get my shoes and go loo. While I was gone she had asked hubby who I was, she had been calling me 'friend' quite a bit this afternoon, when I came down she asked Are you our Andrea are you my daughter. I said yes mum. She said she was sorry she'd thought I was 'friend' I said no worries and asked if she wanted to stay now. Mum said No I need go and see about my furniture and stuff and if our (brother) got rid of it. I tried again to put her off, she agreed her mum must have been dead a long time because she's 73 and her mum died at 50, she agreed she had her own house too, but she still thought she had stuff at her mums. She said Yes she knew that didn't make sense but I was still wrong and she was right she knew it!
There's no logic in a person with dementias thinking at times like this I know and today was a great example of that, but I also don't know how to get around it or go along with it a lot of the time where mum is concerned.
We drove her home and not far from her house she asked where she lived. I told her address and said we're nearly there, she recognised house as soon as saw her street and went straight in. She was talking about her furniture and saying it was hers and she knew it was all here not at her mums and she said she was sorry for getting on at us and getting it wrong. I told her that it was ok it didn't matter. She said she didn't know I was me and thought I was 'friend' but why didn't I tell her. Hubby and I said we had but it doesn't matter we know she mixes us up sometimes but its not on purpose.
She started talking about cost of house and needing to move because she wouldn't be able to afford it now on her own. I said it was fine because she got housing benefit and she'd always lived here on her own and mum said I know cos I've only got a single bed, but (my dad) lived with me and I can't afford it all now. Mum can agree and disagree at same time which amazes me. What a cruel way for a brain to behave. It was only about 20 to 5 so hubby went back home and I stayed with mum as she was still confused and upset and hadn't had dinner yet so I didn't want to leave her on her own. She said I could go with hubby but I said no I'll stay with you for a while mum.
When hubby left mum said she was sorry she'd been nasty and she had got mixed up, she didn't understand things. I told her it was ok I know its not on purpose, it's not nice being confused. She still thought her mums house had her stuff in it and didn't understand when she'd moved to her bungalow, or why, or if dad had lived there. She was sat right in back corner of sofa looking very scared and old and confused. She was still holding towel from washing her hands when we'd come in and she was pulling at it and knotting it. She said she was sorry she'd got nasty and sorry she didn't know what she was doing, she didn't like it cos she couldn't remember. I told her I know it's awful and it's not fair and I wish she didn't feel like that. She was crying and so was I, Mum said she was scared cos she didn't know things and I said I know it was scary and it was a cruel thing to happen to her and I was really sorry and wished it wasn't.
She asked about dad and her mum and when I'd got married and where we'd lived when I lived with her and she kept mixing up houses and times. She asked where I lived now and if she'd been and when I told her she said Oh have I, Can I come again? I said Yes. She started talking about my house but mixing it up with 'friend's and asked why she'd come home already if she'd been at mine today. I told her we'd come home because she'd got mixed up and was worrying about her mums house and we talked about how she gets confused about where she lives when she comes to my house and if it was good idea to come to mine. Mum said she was sorry and she'd not come then, I told her I liked her coming to my house but I didn't want her to be upset and mixed up. Mum said I thought I'd had a nice day too at your house. I said so did I till a bit ago. She asked if hubby minded her coming to our house and I said no and then she asked how long we'd been married. She thought he was 'friends' hubby first and so we ended up talking about her mixing us up with 'friend' and her hubby and how long it was since she had seen them.
She had calmed down a lot by this time and it had gone a bit cool in mums so I put heating on and mum made us a cup of tea. I offered to make dinner as it was half five by now but mum said she wasn't hungry yet. While we were drinking our tea mum said my sister hadn't rung her in ages, I reminded her she'd rung yesterday morning which she disagreed with at first but then accepted it. She moved on to her not talking to her neighbours her but they were all friends so I reminded her she spoke to them if she saw them, she didn't really want to be that close but they were pleasant in passing. Mum said she hadn't wanted to before but I was married now so I wouldn't see her much and she wished she talked to them more now. I said I'd been married 27 years which was before she moved here and also before neighbours did and I came every day so she didn't need to worry I wouldn't come now I was married cos I still did. She said Oh good.
She calmed down more after that and at 6 she put dirty dancing on tv, we had dinner during that and she seemed a lot happier. Hubby had his dinner at home and then came to mums just before film finished and we left just before 8.
I do sometimes think it would be better if I didn't take mum to my house and maybe she wouldn't be confused then about where she lives, but it's the only place she goes and she wants to go to my house as she always has done that on a weekend. If I didn't bring her to mine it might avoid her forgetting where she lived and wanting to go home to see her house like today, but she often gets mixed up about her mums house and if she's lived with my dad recently and if she can afford her house even when she's in it. Also she gets confused most afternoons about something, whether it's her house, her mums house, who I am, if she got back with my dad, etc, so avoiding my house may stop one part of one worry and mix up but she will very possibly just move onto a different worry and mix up if she stays at home.
I keep going to try having our hot meal at lunchtime on a weekend when we come here so if mum gets confused or angry and wants to go home before dinner time we've had proper meal already and I don't have to make something at mums and hubby make something at home. Or if she's really upset and wants me to leave I won't be leaving her without a hot meal and worrying she will try make something herself. Today we were supposed to be having pork loin steaks, corriander new potatoes and cauliflower cheese but mum and I ended up having frozen chicken dippers and chips and hubby a microwave stew. I was going to make it at lunchtime but by time we got here from mums it was almost lunchtime and that would have taken over an hour to prep and cook and mum didn't want to wait and just wanted a sandwich so I left it for dinner, I wish I hadn't now.

 

[Woo2]

Sorry you have had a difficult afternoon Do you ask mum what she wants to eat ? I just do ours, if I’m doing meal at lunch or tea time I don’t ask she just has what we have when we have it , I’m not being harsh here but I wouldn’t ask her but just do what suits you and hubby and I’m sure she would eat it. It may confuse mum going to yours but I wouldn’t stop as it’s part of your/her routine and if it wasn’t that it would be something else that she would get confused about. It is a very cruel disease , my mum never mentions dementia /Alzheimer’s ever , never has so we dont , she says oh it’s popped out my head if she forgets mid conversation or just completely ignores us as if she had said nothing . Hope you got some relaxing time with hubby tonight , dinner planned sounded nice , hope you get it soon. X

 

[annielou]

Thanks @Woo2 x If it hadn't been so close to normal lunchtime I would have done cooked meal at lunch today and just not said anything to mum till it was made as I keep thinking it may be better get it out of way while she's more with it and relaxed earlier in day. We go to mums a bit later on weekends than in week so hubby, and me too, can have a lie in and so by time we got mum back to ours it was pretty close to lunch. Mum heard hubby and I talking about making dinner and said she was hungry but would rather just have a sandwich. In past when we used to have hot meal at lunchtime if not going somewhere at weekends I would prep things before we went to pick mum up, sometimes even put meat and potatoes on and then it didn't take as long when we got back. But nowadays I never know what mood mum will be in when we get there, or if her tummy will start before we arrive and don't know if she'll come though or not so I don't risk doing dinner first in case I'm not coming back. Not knowing what mood mums going to be in till I get there is a pain where planning is concerned.
Doubt we'll get the planned dinner this week now as doing the potatoes and cauliflower cheese at mums is too much of a faff. We may have loin steaks with simpler potatoes and veg but they need eating tomorrow and we had sausages I was planning to take to mums for tomorrow that also need eating, drawback of online shopping is sometimes get short dates so one will probably be wasted.
I do wonder about bringing her to mine at all but think same if it isn't that it will be something else, I think it may be better to prepare to leave and go back to mums earlier though.
Mentioning dementia/alzheimers is an funny one isn't it. Mum is sometimes aware there's something wrong, that she's mixed up and doesn't know things or forgets things. Other times she is sure she is fine. Sometimes she'll say she has alzheimers or dementia but others acts like hasn't. When she's mixed up or confused, I may say her memories are mixed up, or her brain mixes things up when she's tired and things like that most of time, but sometimes when she asks why it happens and I'm explaining I will say it's what happens with alzheimers, I don't say it not that often though and she isn't really bothered by it on those occassions I do. I don't say it when she's angry and not asking why it happens, I think it's best not to bring it up in those circumstances. Last week mum got a pack from care agency with makings of a cream tea in it for dementia week and it had a forget me not keyring with it. Mum said Are they trying to say I've got dementia, then straight away she said Oh but I have haven't I, oh well that'll be for me then and she was fine about it. She mentions it when she's watching tv programmes sometimes and it comes up, she might say oh that's like me, but other times she is completely oblivious. I usually leave it to mum to bring it up or just mention it when she is calm but wanting to know why her brain mixes things up as sometimes it seems to help her to have an explanation.
It definately is a cruel disease and very complicated too.
I hope your day has been ok x Have you been on another drive or walk yet?

 

[Bikerbeth]

If I remember rightly your Mum has talked about brother clearing out the house even when you have been at Mum’s house. If so then going to your house at the weekend is not a trigger. As you and woo2 says -going to your house at the weekend is part of your Mum’s routine (as much as having Carers in).
I think you also said it was important for you and hubby to have time in your house at the weekends so at least you were together but he could also get on with things. You and hubby are important too.
I am sorry that you had a trying day (loops of conversations are so exhausting) and can only hope that you have a better day today.
The cream tea sounds nice though

 

[imthedaughter]

Sounds trying, @annielou
I feel you've probably already thought of this but just in case, is there any chance you could call your brother and get him to speak to mum to reassure her he is not emptying house, or will she not believe him either?

 

[Woo2]

Can you cook sausages so at least you get another couple of days out of them ? I had the same thing recently where had several things with short shelf life , I either cook and freeze or cook and refrigerate . Mum doesn’t even flinch at the ads or programmes, daughter watched Casualty with Duffy once downstairs and we all held our breath but nope nothing , no comment no nothing . Haven’t been out for drive but have walked dog a couple of times late in the evening once mum gone for bed . ? X

 

[TNJJ]

Hi. I used to do a lot of batch cooking at home and then take to dads. If your mum hasn’t got a microwave I would invest in one. It would save so much time from faffing about and trying to do the meals for lunch. I don’t ask dad what he is having for lunch . I tell him what I’m having and he has the same..

 

[canary]

The dinner that you were going to cook for your mum sounds delicious, but oh, so complicated! Im sure you wanted to cook something really nice for your mum, but actually it might be better to go for something simpler that you know you will have time for. There is nothing wrong with cooking something beforehand that just needs reheating - you know your mum gets impatient about food and wants everything done immediately

I agree with everyone else, dont ask her if she wants dinner, just assume its happening lunchtime. If you can eat lunchtime then you wont have to worry about later on if your mum insists on going home. Im sure she is sundowning, because it seems to be about the same time every afternoon that she starts getting really confused and anxious. Its something I recognise because mum used to do the same. She basically wanted to be home because she was so confused and I think your mum is doing this too and just confabulating "reasons" (which is why they dont make sense). I always had to get mum home by 3.00pm before the sundowning started.

 

[annielou]

Thanks @Bikerbeth @imthedaughter @Woo2 @TNJJ @canary xxxxx
Yes mum constantly talks about needing to empty her mums house and her brothers clearing out the house and they might chuck her stuff out, or take the tele she thinks she bought her mum, it doesn't matter if she's at my house or hers it's a frequent thing. Thinking she has nowhere to live now cos she's been living with her mum was a new thing the other day which I hope doesn't continue. She did ring her brother a couple of week after I started staying at home overnight and also a few months ago when she thought her mum had just died. Her brother was out so mum spoke to his wife who told her she had died a long time ago and everything was sorted then, first time mum was ok, but second she didn't believe her and says she stayed up most of night upset. When I arrived next mornign to get her ready for day centre and explained and she believed me she was shattered and went back to bed and didn't go to day centre. I think if she rung him again it wouldn't have a lasting effect on her remembering and I feel bad her ringing and bothering people. He has parkinsons and last time we saw him and his wife at christmas I got impression he was suffering with tiredness and not doing as well now. There'd be no point in her ringing her oldest brother as he has dementia too and he wouldn't know what she was talking about plus I wouldn't want her to disturb his wife who has enough on looking after him.
I've never cooked and reheated, the only thing I've ever reheated is when I've made a stew and I've put it in fridge and reheated in oven next day and occassionaly put it in freezer and microwaved at later date. Other than that I've occassionaly prepped something and put it in fridge to put in oven later. I've never known how long to reheat things for but maybe its something I should think about.
Mums kitchen is small, her oven only has 2 shelves, her grill is rubbish and she only has small pans and no roasting tins so if its not something that can be cooked on two baking trays in oven I have to take all my stuff with me. Today I'll swap to roast potatoes and do them in roasting tin with pork loin steaks or sausages and swap to frozen bag of cauliflower bake, so besides the food I'll take my peeling knife to do pots and two roasting tins. I'm also taking mums part of shopping delivery so I'll look like father christmas with all my bags today.
Mum would live on crispy potatoe slices or chips with quiche, coated chicken goujons, chicken dippers and ready made stew and dumplings forever, but hubby and I get so fed up of those. Its hard to think of things mum will eat as she's even more fussy than me so I try to do a meat, potatoe and veg of some sort at least once a week if possible but I do it more at my house than mums as its easier. But I will have to think of another way as it's becoming more and more difficult. Going to google pre cooking and reheating later.
I think mum is definately a sundowner, and not the cocktail which I quite fancy. I've thought mum sundowns for a long time. Mum can get angry mid morning some days and is confused most of the day, but most days she gets worse from mid afternoon and thats when she gets anxious and worried about things as well as angry. Around 1/2 past 3 to 4 o'clock is usual start of the worrying loops, although it can be as early as 1/2 past 1 and some days I think she sundowns all day.
So I will make more of an effort to eat at lunchtime at weekends and then we can take mum home earlier and not have to make big meal at her house.

 

[TNJJ]

Thanks @Bikerbeth @imthedaughter @Woo2 @TNJJ @canary xxxxx
Yes mum constantly talks about needing to empty her mums house and her brothers clearing out the house and they might chuck her stuff out, or take the tele she thinks she bought her mum, it doesn't matter if she's at my house or hers it's a frequent thing. Thinking she has nowhere to live now cos she's been living with her mum was a new thing the other day which I hope doesn't continue. She did ring her brother a couple of week after I started staying at home overnight and also a few months ago when she thought her mum had just died. Her brother was out so mum spoke to his wife who told her she had died a long time ago and everything was sorted then, first time mum was ok, but second she didn't believe her and says she stayed up most of night upset. When I arrived next mornign to get her ready for day centre and explained and she believed me she was shattered and went back to bed and didn't go to day centre. I think if she rung him again it wouldn't have a lasting effect on her remembering and I feel bad her ringing and bothering people. He has parkinsons and last time we saw him and his wife at christmas I got impression he was suffering with tiredness and not doing as well now. There'd be no point in her ringing her oldest brother as he has dementia too and he wouldn't know what she was talking about plus I wouldn't want her to disturb his wife who has enough on looking after him.
I've never cooked and reheated, the only thing I've ever reheated is when I've made a stew and I've put it in fridge and reheated in oven next day and occassionaly put it in freezer and microwaved at later date. Other than that I've occassionaly prepped something and put it in fridge to put in oven later. I've never known how long to reheat things for but maybe its something I should think about.
Mums kitchen is small, her oven only has 2 shelves, her grill is rubbish and she only has small pans and no roasting tins so if its not something that can be cooked on two baking trays in oven I have to take all my stuff with me. Today I'll swap to roast potatoes and do them in roasting tin with pork loin steaks or sausages and swap to frozen bag of cauliflower bake, so besides the food I'll take my peeling knife to do pots and two roasting tins. I'm also taking mums part of shopping delivery so I'll look like father christmas with all my bags today.
Mum would live on crispy potatoe slices or chips with quiche, coated chicken goujons, chicken dippers and ready made stew and dumplings forever, but hubby and I get so fed up of those. Its hard to think of things mum will eat as she's even more fussy than me so I try to do a meat, potatoe and veg of some sort at least once a week if possible but I do it more at my house than mums as its easier. But I will have to think of another way as it's becoming more and more difficult. Going to google pre cooking and reheating later.
I think mum is definately a sundowner, and not the cocktail which I quite fancy. I've thought mum sundowns for a long time. Mum can get angry mid morning some days and is confused most of the day, but most days she gets worse from mid afternoon and thats when she gets anxious and worried about things as well as angry. Around 1/2 past 3 to 4 o'clock is usual start of the worrying loops, although it can be as early as 1/2 past 1 and some days I think she sundowns all day.
So I will make more of an effort to eat at lunchtime at weekends and then we can take mum home earlier and not have to make big meal at her house.

If your worried about how long to reheat for and the right temperature you can get a probe for the food. But I do think you need to rethink as you say it is becoming more difficult. You need to try and make life easier for you?

 

[Woo2]

I just normally use same temperature but just less time and I feel if it’s warm it’s fine as it’s already cooked just needs heating , I don’t put things from freezer straight in oven usually but defrost first , there is a defrost setting on most ovens which you could use . It’s east honestly or I wouldn’t be able to do it ! I hate throwing food away (doesn’t get a chance here to not be eaten ) but if I have got something out for dinner and we change mind and have a bbq or go out I will cook it and leave in fridge for a day or two or cook it and put in freezer . Hope today goes ok and you get all the stuff in your big red sack ok ?? x