Thanks for your post xHi i read your updated post just wanted to say you haven't made your mum dependent shes not independent shes got blooming dementia sw just not properly informed about dementia! !
My advice is too take take up what they offer you definitely try day centre because nobody needs to come into your mums ‘ territory ‘ my dads similar he cant understand why theres a carer there in hes home in hes kitchen making him tea ‘ im not a baby ‘ quote
its really hard ! Especially when they dont want carers as my dad does also im making do with temp carer( 6 weeks ss carers )2 hours x 2 hours twice week as didnt want more as o know he will kick off so trying to make it less invasive as possible
Try n build the carers up
Little by little to get her used to it , carers and strangers in your home is not nice
I'm still here over night though no answers for me on that one unless i get going and get my own carers in overnight not sure he thats going go down with dad again no help from social worker she just gawped when the question came up
Money /funding is the issue unfortunately when it comes down to it ( box ticking too )
Also ive taken my dad to 3 assisted living places that was my idea about a yr /6 months ago but was quickly shelved thank god , bad idea for my dad I personally would not find them at all suitable for a person with moderate dementia who’s confused if she’s confused about your home she will be completely out of her depth same as she is at home but alone at night by herself in a new environment she needs 24 hour care not a glorified shelter housing with visiting carers she may as well stay at home .
I did think about assisted living sheltered accomodation a while ago, around time mum agreed to go to doctors, sis even contacted local one but there were no spaces and quite a waiting list and when we looked at it and talked more about it we didn't really think it was suitable for mum. The first social worker who came to assess mum in october seemed to think it wasn't suitable for mum either. But this time it was a different SW and she suggested it this time but even if it is suitable the chance of mum getting a place is not very high anyway.
I'm going to try coming home on a night and going over in day while we wait for care plan to be done and care they offer starts and see how we can manage. I'm really scared it's not going to work but I realise we need to try.
I do hope something gets sorted to help you and your dad soon, your situation is terrible with lack of care and support for you both and I do feel so sorry for you. x