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Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
5,382
0
Nottinghamshire
I think it’s standard to isolate new people in their rooms for a couple of weeks. The home should have facilities for testing. Your mum’s social worker should know all the details.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
52
0
Thank you ,Bunpoots.Shes just had the test.Here at our house.They say she can go in Monday.! She took the news better than I expected.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
52
0
Bunboots,I've already decided I don't want my mum back.I think it will take a lot of time for me to recover from this.Can they make me have her back if I don't want her here?
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
5,382
0
Nottinghamshire
@Orchid orchid if it's your house I wouldn't think so. I had to battle to keep my dad in full time care. I was shocked when "the panel" decided to send him home " to see if he'd improve in familiar surroundings" as he hadn't recognised his own home for some time! I simply said that I wasn't going to be involved in his care anymore and dad's social worker managed to convince the panel (I assume they held the purse strings) to let him stay in the carehome. There was no way my dad could have coped without 24hr care. He didn't have a clue what was going on or how to care for himself. Fortunately he had a good social worker who was prepared to fight for us.

Just keep saying no. If anyone thinks "no" means "maybe" that's when the problems start. Getting your mum into a carehome in the first place is a big part of the battle.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
52
0
House is in both our names.But there is no way my mental health wud stand it .I'm going to have to get counselling
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
52
0
House is in both our names.But there is no way my mental health wud stand it .I'm going to have to get counselling
Update.25 April 2021.Having a good rest ,tidying house.Glad they took her in .It's been 2 weeks now.Had first counselling session. It Went well.Have been prescribed some additional medication.Taking it.Last night had dreadful Nightmare. She was(my mother) after me perusing me ,following me into all the shops etc,managed to lose her in the town,then she was laughing when I went in one shop and she was already in it! Stood up for myself and everyone around me said it was me who was the bad one.Felt suicidal (in the dream)and still very alone.Dread even seeing her again.Will I ever get back to normal ?Will this dreadful thing haunt me for the rest of my life?
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,887
0
I was wondering how thing were @Orchid orchid . Glad you've got some counselling sorted for you, but the nightmare sounds like there are still things almost literally haunting you. I hope you can work through those and start to put this difficult time behind you.
I hope your mum is settling in, and the respite becomes permanent.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
52
0
Thank you Sarasa .I hope it becomes permanent ,too.It would seem that my wishes and needs are just not part of the equation ?.Everyone says it's just all about money.How depressing this is to hear.When all I want is my sanity back...
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
52
0
UPDATE.I heard today that my mother is going to be in care on a permanent basis.Thank you to all those people who followed my thread from 1 /12/ 2020.And especially to all those who offered advice.And helped me.I am forever so grateful.You will not know how much ?.Ive had my second counselling session and started on new tablets .Hope my mind will start to mend.She wants to see me ,but I don't know if I can manage that right now.Im not an unforgiving person but its very hard.At the moment,I'm concentrating on my own health and wellbeing.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
3,615
0
Southampton
UPDATE.I heard today that my mother is going to be in care on a permanent basis.Thank you to all those people who followed my thread from 1 /12/ 2020.And especially to all those who offered advice.And helped me.I am forever so grateful.You will not know how much ?.Ive had my second counselling session and started on new tablets .Hope my mind will start to mend.She wants to see me ,but I don't know if I can manage that right now.Im not an unforgiving person but its very hard.At the moment,I'm concentrating on my own health and wellbeing.
great news. id leave it a while so she is settled and you are feeling more able to cope with it. the tablets take about 3 weeks before you feel the benefit and few more counselling sessions and you may feel more up to it.
 

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