WHERE TO NEXT?

[Orchid orchid]

I am wondering whether SS have assessed your mum over the phone. They did this to my mum and (no surprise) she told them that she was doing all her own shopping, cooking, housework etc, and even though one look at her and her home would have told you otherwise, because it was over the phone mums statements were taken at face value. I wasnt told this was happening and only found out about it later.

Have you contacted SS yourself and told them about the fires, aggression etc? You mum will not have said anything about this as she will be unaware that it is happening.

Yes,they know about the fires,and the aggro.They have not said she has been assessed.To me or anyone.And I have not received any documents concerning this fact. Their whole attitude is odd.

 

[Orchid orchid]

Yes,they know about the fires,and the aggro.They have not said she has been assessed.To me or anyone.And I have not received any documents concerning this fact. Their whole attitude is odd.

 

[canary]

They have not said she has been assessed.To me or anyone.And I have not received any documents concerning this fact.

I didnt get any documents either. I only found out when I phoned them up. Mum had completely forgotten everything by then.

 

[Orchid orchid]

Gordon Bennett.

 

[Orchid orchid]

I feel very disappointed in the Social Services.They don't seem to care.And have cancelled 2 assressments Even though it is half my house,I am thinking of leaving tomorrow.I have nowhere to go and expect I will be homeless,but ijust cant cope anymore.

 

[Sarasa]

I only knew social services had contacted my mum after the police had raised concerns about her with them when I heard half of the conversation they'd had on her answerphone.
Things sound very tough @Orchid orchid . If you can, I think contacting the support line tomorrow to discuss what you can do next to get the help both you and your mother need.
Dementia Connect support line: 0333 150 3456 dementia.connect@alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Orchid orchid]

I am wondering whether SS have assessed your mum over the phone. They did this to my mum and (no surprise) she told them that she was doing all her own shopping, cooking, housework etc, and even though one look at her and her home would have told you otherwise, because it was over the phone mums statements were taken at face value. I wasnt told this was happening and only found out about it later.

Have you contacted SS yourself and told them about the fires, aggression etc? You mum will not have said anything about this as she will be unaware that it is happening.

 

[Orchid orchid]

Upda

I am wondering whether SS have assessed your mum over the phone. They did this to my mum and (no surprise) she told them that she was doing all her own shopping, cooking, housework etc, and even though one look at her and her home would have told you otherwise, because it was over the phone mums statements were taken at face value. I wasnt told this was happening and only found out about it later.

Have you contacted SS yourself and told them about the fires, aggression etc? You mum will not have said anything about this as she will be unaware that it is happening.

Update from orchid orchid
At the moment nothing has been done about the daily mental abuse I face.
Social service know and are aware of situation.Spend Al my time in bed feel I cannot cope.have become very depressed,but just told the level of abuse and cruelty is "normal".Imhaving a breakdown and no one seems to care..

The

 

[Orchid orchid]

I want to know why this abuse is being allowed to continue why will they not of help me why is everyone on the side of the abuser in domestic abuse cases like this?

 

[jennifer1967]

have you phoned your GP, have you someone you can phone in an emergency? dementia connect lines scroll up for number. please phone them now. they are very good and approachable.

 

[Izzy]

I’m sorry things are so bad for for you @Orchid orchid. I agree that it might be useful for you to talk to someone at Dementia Connect. The details are as follows:

0333 150 3456

Dementia Connect support line

If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Weasell]

In my opinion, had she got into the ambulance you mentioned in your first post then all your troubles would be over.
Others would have witnessed and been victims of her behaviour which would have led to her receiving the help she requires.

I would go the GP and enquire if any help can be given in regards to obtaining a prescription for PRN ( one off) medication.
I am thinking of something that would calm her.
The GP may well be resistant for a number of reasons including falls risk.
This would mean that if paramedics call in the future and are happy to take her away you have something in the tool box.

My idea is obviously just one idea to solve the problem. I suspect you
are by now very depressed and may not be able to find the motivation to try the above!
But just an idea!
Wishing you a speedy resolution to sorting things out.

 

[Orchid orchid]

In my opinion, had she got into the ambulance you mentioned in your first post then all your troubles would be over.
Others would have witnessed and been victims of her behaviour which would have led to her receiving the help she requires.

I would go the GP and enquire if any help can be given in regards to obtaining a prescription for PRN ( one off) medication.
I am thinking of something that would calm her.
The GP may well be resistant for a number of reasons including falls risk.
This would mean that if paramedics call in the future and are happy to take her away you have something in the tool box.

My idea is obviously just one idea to solve the problem. I suspect you
are by now very depressed and may not be able to find the motivation to try the above!
But just an idea!
Wishing you a speedy resolution to sorting things out.

Update.Social services came and gave mum assessment.However, it was useless.She now expresses a desire to go into a care home, but guess what?The Social worker doesn't along with the idea,insisting my mother stays in her own home.Theywish to send people on to encourage her "cooking "hobbies,and seem unable to grasp the fact that my mother is a complete Danger in the kitchen!!! As for my needs,they are ignored and they said if they send carers in i can just conveniently" stay upstairs"!I've recently had a solicitor send these stupid people letters.

 

[Sarasa]

Have you contacted the support line @Orchid orchid 0333 150 3456 and dementia.connect@alzheimers.org.uk to see what else you can do.
It sounds like social services want to try out carers at home before a move to a care home, but that isn't a great deal of help if your mother continues to be a danger to yourself and to others. I do know that social services try everything else before going to down the care home route.

 

[Orchid orchid]

Have you contacted the support line @Orchid orchid 0333 150 3456 and dementia.connect@alzheimers.org.uk to see what else you can do.
It sounds like social services want to try out carers at home before a move to a care home, but that isn't a great deal of help if your mother continues to be a danger to yourself and to others. I do know that social services try everything else before going to down the care home route.

Thank you, Sarasa.Thank you everyone for your concern.

 

[canary]

@Orchid orchid - It shouldnt be like this, but unfortunately you often have to "prove" to SS that the only way to keep them safe is in a care home. If you are self-funding then you can just move your mum into a care home without going through SS, but if you need LA funding (or are likely to need it within the next few months) the SW has to present your case before a panel to approve the funding. Unfortunately, the LA panel often has a tick-box approach, so you have to be prepared to go through the hoops.

Accept the carers, but keep a diary of all the times and occasions where she is still a danger to herself and others and after a couple of week get back to the SW. I dare say that the SW is aware of the problems, but cannot do anything about the funding yet. Im not sure how much effect sending letters from solicitors will be, TBH.

 

[MartinWL]

Accept the carers, but keep a diary of all the times and occasions where she is still a danger to herself and others and after a couple of week get back to the SW. I dare say that the SW is aware of the problems, but cannot do anything about the funding yet. Im not sure how much effect sending letters from solicitors will be, TBH.

I agree with @canary about the steps to take, but I think s solicitor's letter is a good idea.It will put the local authority on notice that this family won't be fobbed off and might alert them to the possibility of getting the blame if it all were to go wrong. That's no bad thing.

 

[Weasell]

Update.Social services came and gave mum assessment.However, it was useless.She now expresses a desire to go into a care home, but guess what?The Social worker doesn't along with the idea,insisting my mother stays in her own home.Theywish to send people on to encourage her "cooking "hobbies,and seem unable to grasp the fact that my mother is a complete Danger in the kitchen!!! As for my needs,they are ignored and they said if they send carers in i can just conveniently" stay upstairs"!I've recently had a solicitor send these stupid people letters.

Sorry to take so long to reply. it has not been a very smooth running January!
You have received some excellent advice.
Most of the people we support have the ability to ‘hostess‘ for strangers, but their ability to keep it up can be very patchy.
You have been so patient, but I am sure her true colours will come out very soon.
Just a little longer and I am sure things will work out for you.
I don’t know what surprises she will have in the kitchen for them, but I have a feeling she wont turn out to be the new Jaime Oliver!

 

[Orchid orchid]

B Have you contacted the support line @Orchid orchid 0333 150 3456 and dementia.connect@alzheimers.org.uk to see what else you can do.
It sounds like social services want to try out carers at home before a move to a care home, but that isn't a great deal of help if your mother continues to be a danger to yourself and to others. I do know that social services try everything else before going to down the care home route.

Thank you, Sarasa.Thank

@Orchid orchid - It shouldnt be like this, but unfortunately you often have to "prove" to SS that the only way to keep them safe is in a care home. If you are self-funding then you can just move your mum into a care home without going through SS, but if you need LA funding (or are likely to need it within the next few months) the SW has to present your case before a panel to approve the funding. Unfortunately, the LA panel often has a tick-box approach, so you have to be prepared to go through the hoops.

Accept the carers, but keep a diary of all the times and occasions where she is still a danger to herself and others and after a couple of week get back to the SW. I dare say that the SW is aware of the problems, but cannot do anything about the funding yetmom no Im not sure how much effect sending letters from solicitors will be, TBH.

Thank
you everyone for your concern.The main dangers are at night,as she wonders and does not sleep.Also I don't see it being easy her having carers. This causes her a great deal of aggravation and irritations.She won't accept people coming into the house, especially 8 times a day, as they wish to!

 

[Orchid orchid]

My mother agreed to carers,but she doesn't really want them and only agreed out of politeness.She won't adjust to having people in the house,and won't like it.