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Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
10,088
0
Yorkshire
hi @Orchid orchid
accept the home care visits and do as was suggested, stay well out of the way when the carers come ... that way the carers will gradually see exactly what the situation is and will keep records ... so they will be independent witnesses to any behaviours and Social Services will have evidence for whether care at home or residential care properly meets your mother's needs
if you keep a diary of how each day and night goes, that will add to the information for Social Services
and keeping out of the way should give you time for yourself
 

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,489
0
My mother agreed to carers,but she doesn't really want them and only agreed out of politeness.She won't adjust to having people in the house,and won't like it.
Hi @Orchid orchid ,it doesn't matter whether your mother likes the carers or not, the important thing is that you go along with the steps that SS are proposing. It's the only way professionals are going to see that your mother needs more help. It's not ideal, but unfortunately SS have their own protocols and it's about allowing the carer visits to fail, because we know they will ultimately.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
49
0
Hi @Orchid orchid ,it doesn't matter whether your mother likes the carers or not, the important thing is that you go along with the steps that SS are proposing. It's the only way professionals are going to see that your mother needs more help. It's not ideal, but unfortunately SS have their own protocols and it's about allowing the carer visits to fail, because we know they will ultimately.
Thank you so much.Your advice is great.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
49
0
Update.Still the S services are not doing anything.Sent a solicitors letter.Saying what would they do if I took a break? Just for a week.Would they put carers in then?No reply, then they ring up this morning, want to seems mum and discuss something about a legal team.What does this mean?My mother doesn't need a legal team, Im her p o a.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
49
0
Update.Still the S services are not doing anything.Sent a solicitors letter.Saying what would they do if I took a break? Just for a week.Would they put carers in then?No reply, then they ring up this morning, want to seems mum and discuss something about a legal team.What does this mean?My mother doesn't need a legal team, Im her p o a.They still have not done a fire risk assessment.Done nothing.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
720
0
Update.Still the S services are not doing anything.Sent a solicitors letter.Saying what would they do if I took a break? Just for a week.Would they put carers in then?No reply, then they ring up this morning, want to seems mum and discuss something about a legal team.What does this mean?My mother doesn't need a legal team, Im her p o a.They still have not done a fire risk assessment.Done nothing.
Unfortunately to be able to help you we need to know exactly what they asked for and what was said about a legal team. Perhaps a member of the council's legal team is involved in replying to a letter from your solicitor to social services? If you can give the exact detail I am sure forum members will try to help.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
49
0
Unfortunately to be able to help you we need to know exactly what they asked for and what was said about a legal team. Perhaps a member of the council's legal team is involved in replying to a letter from your solicitor to social services? If you can give the exact detail I am sure forum members will try to help.

Unfortunately to be able to help you we need to know exactly what they asked for and what was said about a legal team. Perhaps a member of the council's legal team is involved in replying to a letter from your solicitor to social services? If you can give the exact detail I am sure forum members will try to help.
They came (the ss) this afternoon and the meeting went much better than I thought it would.Mum told them once again, she wanted to go to a care home,and they said they will look into it,and it may take time to organise.In the meantime,in spite of mums protests,they want carers coming in to give me some help.I dont think, it will be much help,as mother is so difficult,(she threw a wobbly and walked out)but it's going with the flow,as a person on here suggested I do?.I can only hope it's a step in the right direction.?The legal matter was not even mentioned.So I don't know what that was about.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,924
0
South coast
It sounds like that meeting went relatively well.
SS are pressing for carers to come in because they have to go for the "least restrictive solution", so they almost always want to at least try carers first. Also, I cant remember whether your mum would be self-funding, but if she will need LA funding then SS will also have to persuade the LA panel to finance it. Thats easier if SS can say that they have tried carers coming in and it doesnt work.
 

Lemondrizzle

Registered User
Aug 26, 2018
162
0
It would be usual for the council legal team to respond to solicitor's letters to any of their departments so @MartinWL is most likely correct in that suppostion.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
49
0
It sounds like that meeting went relatively well.
SS are pressing for carers to come in because they have to go for the "least restrictive solution", so they almost always want to at least try carers first. Also, I cant remember whether your mum would be self-funding, but if she will need LA funding then SS will also have to persuade the LA panel to finance it. Thats easier if SS can say that they have tried carers coming in and it doesnt work.
Thank you, canary
It would be usual for the council legal team to respond to solicitor's letters to any of their departments so @MartinWL is most likely correct in that suppostion.

It would be usual for the council legal team to respond to solicitor's letters to any of their departments so @MartinWL is most likely correct in that suppostion.

Canary,for your advice.I do appreciate it! I would need funding.Shes still being difficult,but can't wait for carers to come in now!!!
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
49
0
UPDATE.i feel I'm losing hope here.Please help!After several months and 2 solicitors letters,still the social services will do NOTHING.They want me to go and stay at "friends" ,while they put fulltime carers in.Mother is completely "gone",but they do not seem to want to put her in a care home.They came this morning and asked her if she wanted to stay in her home .she said "yes,"even though she didn't know what she was really saying.
Will this never end?I posted some time ago about my problems but the social services just will not budge.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,924
0
South coast
I remember this thread @Orchid orchid
Solicitors wont help because SS is following the Mental Health Act to the letter of the law. Did you try getting carers in? I dont think SS are going to budge until carers have been tried and shown to fail.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
10,088
0
Yorkshire
hi @Orchid orchid
I'm afraid you are caught between a rock and a hard place
Social Services have to act within their guidelines, which is hard for the carer
are you able to do as they suggest and spend some time elsewhere ... counter-intuitive as it feels, it may be the only way for a crisis to be reached where SS can step in, hold a best interests meeting and put your mother's needs over what she says she wants
it may help you to talk this over with someone in real time ...
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
49
0
I remember this thread @Orchid orchid
Solicitors wont help because SS is following the Mental Health Act to the letter of the law. Did you try getting carers in? I dont think SS are going to budge until carers have been tried and shown to fail.
Carers come in twice a week.However they will have to put them in all the time once I go.Imgoing to try a weekend first,then maybe aiming at longer breaks.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
49
0
hi @Orchid orchid
I'm afraid you are caught between a rock and a hard place
Social Services have to act within their guidelines, which is hard for the carer
are you able to do as they suggest and spend some time elsewhere ... counter-intuitive as it feels, it may be the only way for a crisis to be reached where SS can step in, hold a best interests meeting and put your mother's needs over what she says she wants
it may help you to talk this over with someone in real time ...
I have tried to put my case this morning with SS,but inspire of me telling them my mother would be better off,and so would I ,they still will not listen.Every time she says she wants to stay they listen to her,even though she does not mean it,and very often says varying different things.
 

Orchid orchid

Registered User
Dec 1, 2020
49
0
Update.I am angry.Social services want me to go and stay at a friend's house to get some respite.But why can't they put my mother in respite (a care home )just for a week?why should it have to be ME that leaves my home?I'm fed up because I always seem to be the one that makes all the concessions?Why not HER?
 

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