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Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Brucie, Aug 10, 2004.
nice one brucie treasure that moment.storm
Best birthday present
5 1/2 year-old granddaughter Amy visited yesterday. She is used to the fact that Gramps says and does some odd things now and again.
Her Christmas present to us was a big photograph of herself, eyes sparkling, beaming smile. Yesterday, I mentioned to her how much Gramps enjoys 'chatting' to her photograph when she is not here. She gave him a quizzical look, and he said very spontaneously "yes, I love you!". I shall never forget the way she shot off her chair and ran to the kitchen shouting "Mummy, Gramps said he loves me!!!!" This memory will count as my best birthday present by far.
Carmen, out of the mouth of babes, what a lovely sincere little girl, love She. XX
Highlight of my day
As usual, today, my Nan has been very sleepy and not really with us. But she has recently woken and asked my Mum where her daughter is, to which my Mum replied that she was her daughter and that her name is Diane. So we went round and round with my Nan saying "so where is my daughter?" or "who is Diane?". My Mum then said to my Nan "you have two children Mum, one daughter and one son". My Nan then said "I've got a son?", and we tried to help her remember his name, but she could not. When we told her that he was called Peter, she suddenly looked slightly mischevious and said "that rings a bell", and I said "I'm glad it does.." and then she replied, " yes, he's a selfish little ****** isn't he!".
It brightened our day that she hadn't lost this memory of her very selfish son even thought initially she couldn't remember that she even had a son. He has absolutely nothing to do with her, so forgive me if this seems a little malicious, but it's absolutely true.
Dear Em, that reminded me so much of my own Mum's wicked sense of humour which she kept right to the end. It's these little break throughs when the person we know and love so much, battles through the bramble patch of dementia that keep us all going isn't it? Enjoy and cherish them, love She. XX
Your post made me laugh. I've had several conversations with my father over the past 4 years on the subject of 'Judith'. She apparently shot through to Oz over 30 years' ago and hasn't been sighted since! Uncaring child that I am....
Thanks Sheila and Jude,
Your post made me laugh too Jude! Had our first (or should I say my first) upset sleep last night though.
Up until now we have been able to contain my Nan at night to getting up and staying within her room (which is downstairs in the house and so does not bother us) but last night she woke me wandering around the house and I could not get back to sleep. All went quiet and I presumed she had gone back to bed, but she was found sitting, asleep, in the dark in our front room this morning.
My Mum is also now laid up in bed with her back, knee and ankle (they've recently found her supposed "arthritis" to be a slipped disc), so I've been caring for the two of them for the last couple of days.
Sorry - just realised this is not really appropriate for higlight of the day!!
Hi Em, it was at this stage that we invested in a baby alarm, it meant I knew what and where Mum was, without always having to get up and investigate. OK it does still stop you sleeping, but if your Mum is laid up with a slipped disc, at least she won't always have to struggle to see what your Nan is doing, you get to know what the rustles and bumps mean with time! It helped me a lot as I've got ME and if I got up too many times in the night all I did when Mum was at daycare was try to get enough energy back to cope when she came home by hardly moving all day! Love She. XX
Hi She, I did suggest a baby monitor to my Mum actually, but we thought that perhaps we wouldn't wake up to the sound of someone wandering around - she's not likely to make much noise I wouldn't think. Did you find that?
Romance is alive
After a week I'd rather forget, things went downhill a bit further still yesterday, when I suggested it was time for bed and my husband looked at me and said "how dare you suggesting we go up to bed together, when I've only known you for three days!" I tried to remind him that it is our 31st anniversary next week, but realised quickly that a change of subject would be a better idea.
Today brought a new development: his eyes were much kinder than last night, and he said "we have known each other for a while now, and I think it would be nice if we got married properly". I am sad that all our precious memories have gone for him, but isn't it lovely to be proposed to a second time?!
Makes you realise how much we need to treasure the good times while we have them!
Hi Em, I had it turned right up, and I placed her end behind the head of her bed. I could actually hear her breathing. When she got out of bed, the sheets would rustle, that seemed to wake me. I think I got tuned in pretty quick, like when you've got a baby. It helped us a lot. We also had those plug in night lights set dawn to dusk, the one in Mum's room I plugged in at the bottom of her bed so it just glowed without being too bright in her face. That meant she was never in the dark so less likely to fall. We had them everywhere, right through the house to keep her safe. We still use them now, but they are mostly set to come on by movement, apart from the kitchen one which we leave on, we have a very senile cat of 20 who regularly falls off work tops if it's dark (but that's another story!) We also had a baby gate at the top of the stairs, had to put a padlock on it though as she learnt to open it after a while. We put the gate higher than you would for a baby, too low for her to get under but too high to climb over. That was our night safety routine, it worked for us. Love She. XX
Dear Carmen, how lovely, where are you going for your second honeymoon! Seriously though, Izzy is right, treasure that precious moment. Love She. XX
You say his eyes were kinder,I know that look well!!
all best wishes
yes, I had exactly that situation with Jan. One night I made her ready and put her to bed as I had done since she had worsened. I moved to get in to bed as well, and she looked at me, alarmed, and said "a man shouldn't be getting into bed with me". I guess that was after about 33 years together.
Second honeymoon - if only! Mind you, I have been very brave and booked a couple of nights in a hotel in Eastbourne this month, to catch up with old friends. Just hope it doesn't backfire, especially if he gets worried about living in sin again ....
Dear Carmen, do hope you have a lovely time. You could try taking your wedding photos with you, might work. Mum couldn't always remember the now, but when she was in one of her back in time moods, she could tell you most of the folk in her and Dads. Love She. XX
On at least a couple of occasions my father has objected to Mum sleeping in 'his bedroom' and has attempted to evict her during the night. It hasn't happened recently since Dad has now altered Mum's gender and she has become his room mate instead.
Jude, I am constantly amazed at this "gender bender" stuff! It makes it so much easier to let these things ride, though, just knowing that it seems to be all part and parcel of the condition.
Sheila, we are all photo-made in our family, and will definitely drag the cringeworthy wedding pics out next week: embarrassing mini skirt (me) / long hair (him). It was a very simple registry office affair, but instead of taking the photos in the high street opposite Tescos we drove to the church and posed in the doorway. The children call us 'skanky' (whatever that means!), we (or should I say I .....) have laughed about it ever since!
As for the weekend away: it never occurred to me to link it with the anniversary, that idea was all started by you. Thanks anyway, and I can only hope for the best.