Dear Sheila and Andy,
Sadly, I suspect that the mini (skirt) would not have the desired effect now, not because of Tony's condition, but because of the added layers of thick skin I have developed (and love handles, and varicose veins, and bunyons ......). Mind you: I did keep one of the dresses I wore when I first met Tony. It is now part of our loft insulation, and I know it will never be worn again, but the knowledge that it is still there helps me to hang on to the memories. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all .....
Another highlight from me amidst much confusion - I was chatting with my Mum earlier about how my sister and I developed as babies, and I asked her how old I had been when I started talking and she replied "you were quite young when you started forming words" and my Nan then stated "and you've been talking ever since". That gave us all a laugh!! It's all true too!
Chesca has been off line for some time because her father has been very ill. It's been a huge strain for her on top of her mother's AD and Chesca hasn't been in good health either. Hopefully things will improve soon.
tHANKS kATY FOR POSTING YOUR MESSAGE. cHESCA, if you are receiving messages, trust evertything is as well as it can be in your quarter. For me you are my lifeline, but I hope I could be the same for you, or anyone else out there. Take care, all of you, keep smiling, Connie
my gran has a very sweet tooth when i visit i always take her something nice to eat, today i took her a bar of mint cream chocolate, i put the chocolate on the arm of her chair she said mint cream ill have a bit of that, i was amazed it wasnt a well know brand so she must have read the label, she who pretends to be almost blind and deaf(very selective)
My Grandma is quite difficult to deal with as she denies that there's anything wrong with her, and it's really taking its toll on Grandad.
But obviously she has moments of clarity. The other day he told her he was popping out to get a newspaper, and she meekly asked "if it's no trouble, could I come with you?"
Another time she told him that he must let her know when she's being 'bad'.
It was Grandma's birthday today, and I forgot
I had already bought her a card which I will send in the morning, but I haven't got her a present, mainly because I can think of absolutely nothing that she would get any pleasure out of. I would love to think of a way to make it special for her
i also found it very sad ,at christmas when nobody ,including myselfcould think of nothing to bring him a bit of pleasure ,,he does not now ,drink or smoke will not watch even the comedy DVDs i had bought will only listen to music for a very short time ,he ended up well clothed ,but then i now dress him more for comfort there was boxes and boxes of chocs wich he does like 1 or 2 of there is virtually nothing left for him he hates being doused with aftershave so it took the pleasure from me having presents ,a pretty miserable time though he was not aware it was christmas ANGELA
It is one of the really desperate things, isn't it? I still can't pass a jewellers without thinking that I'd like to buy something for Jan - then I snap into reality and realise it would be a total waste. Same applies to flowers as she can't see, smell or hold them, or even understand I have brought them for her. [I still do that though, more for myself; one's wife should always have flowers on special days!].
When I was at home caring for Jan, my Mum would ask at Christmas, or around her birthday "what would Jan like? What can I get her?". She would get mad when I said "nothing much, really, maybe some chocolates". Equally at that stage I would say the same of me - "there's nothing I want other than my wife back, as she was"
It's a bummer, but these days, a portion of a Mr Kipling cake becomes a present, and I can see Jan does enjoy that [though not the past few days as she seems to have declined a bit more].
Why do presents have to be 'something'?
Dementia is the great leveller, and all the gloss of our 'civilisation' is as nothing to these people. Surely a hug, an extra visit, a chocolate, a smile, not showing how upset we are when they are 'difficult' [ie when they are trying unsuccessfully to understand their world], etc - surely these are just as valid as anything else...perhaps more so. We can buy material things without needing to think too much. To provide a gift of some sort for these people takes real thought and understanding.
I have been throughn all this present ideas before.
Peg doesn't know who has bought the present,who has bought the flowers!
I end up arranging the flowers,is there no end to the lad's talents?
I tend now to follow the day to day,alarge custard tart,hot cross buns,Jelly babies,jam doughnuts,cherry bakewells etc.
They are all things that Peg loves so I consider that she gets presents every day.
I thought about buying her a new watch,but she can't tell the time anymore and in any case would lose the watch.
Tapes, videos,CDs we have in plenty,music all sorts but she says the Tv is a waste of money that includes the tapes etc.
I agree with Bruce,but there again we usually do agree,give the day to day little treats,give hugs tell them you love them.