Everything is going downhill so quickly now. Since David had his second seizure he has become more and more difficult. It is almost impossible to keep him clean. Most of the time he won't let me wash him. He hasn't had a shower for more than 5 weeks. His hair smells really bad. Yesterday he had a toilet accident whilst on a dog walk. Well I know he can't help that but when we got home he wouldn't let me clean him. He became so nasty and threatened me. An hour later I rang the Dementia helpline. Don't know why. Just needed to sound off I suppose. They have someone coming to assess us again on Monday. Meantime I couldn't get him properly sorted until bedtime. He wasn't having me clean him at all. This morning I tried to get him to have a shower but no way. So life is horrible. But in between these episodes he is like a child. He spends all his time fiddling with all sorts of bits and pieces. He talks to himself (or a friend) all the time. Plays cards with himself (or a friend) more than one kind of card games at a time. Wanders around the house looking at everything like its the first time. As soon as someone visits he switches and becomes angry and agitated. Needless to say we don't get many visitors.! And then this evening I found his wet incontinent pad lying on the kitchen floor. I was horrified. Why did he do that.? I don't know what to do next.xxxx
Oh Casbow I do so feel for you. Life is bad enough trying to cope without having to deal with incontinence. Thankfully my OH hasn't got to that stage yet except that we had one horrible experience when staying with my cousin when I awoke during the night to find him urinating on the bedroom carpet. He had never done anything like that before, at home, so I was mortified. His pyjama trousers became damp in the process but I didn't have any others to change him into. The next morning I tried to get him to have a shower but he flatly refused. At the moment, if I'm lucky I can get him to shower twice a week. He says he showers every day but he doesn't but I don't press him as, after reading other posts regarding this sort of thing I've realised it's best not to press them.
You must be at your wits end wondering what to do and how to get him in the shower but sadly there is no easy answer when they get into a 'mood'. There is no way of getting them to do anything.
The hard part with this disease is that just when you could do with some good friends, they seem to desert you. I have been fortunate that 4 sets of our neighbours have stood by us and will put up with OH's moods and try to draw him out of them. Sometimes they are successful but on New Years Eve they weren't so we just let OH sit huddled in a chair with his coat on as he refused to remove it. At least it meant I could spend the evening with our friends, and see the New Year in with them rather than on my own.
I'm sorry, Casbow, I don't have any magic wand to wave for you I wish I had. There are lots of days when we all wish we had a magic wand to make life happier again.
I do hope you have some success with your assessment on Monday and that you have a good outcome from it.
Just keep posting as this is the best place to let off steam as there ae so many of us in the same boat.
Love Paddy