What can I do.
- Thread starter chg
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Just it is what it is, wiping my wife was one thing, mums bum was another.
Just hard being a carer from a two times looser take it from me.
Wipe from the front to the back was the only advise I was given, maybe not so important when it's a man you're caring for. K
Just hard being a carer from a two times looser take it from me.
Wipe from the front to the back was the only advise I was given, maybe not so important when it's a man you're caring for. K
Have you been referred to the incontinence team? They can give incontinence pull ups or pads free on the NHS . They can advise the best for your needs and give other advice. Ask your GP to refer you if you are buying products yourself
This can be one of the most difficult and stressful things to deal with. It led to many confrontations and meltdowns with my partner. He just didn’t understand what had happened and that he couldn’t get dressed or go to bed without being cleaned up.
I resorted to wipes when he’d let me help. I finally organised carers to come and shower him twice a week. He was much more compliant with them.
And definitely speak to GP about incontinence products.
It sounds strange but watch out for constipation with overflow. If you are wiping away and the tissues never come clean it’s a sign.
Ask GP for suitable bulker and softener while you are there xx
Ask GP for suitable bulker and softener while you are there xx
Try the memory clinic direct and ask for their nurse. It was the memory clinic that referred my OH to incontinence team x
I just have another row with my partner, when I suggested he should have a shower, (he has not have a shower for 2 weeks now!) Can anybody suggest what to do, how to convince him to shower himself? I know this seems not that important compared with worse things, but it depress me a lot, because it shouws how thing are gettin worse.. He never missed a shower in the 23 years I have known him, I am so sad because he gets so upset with me all the time, and he thinks I hate him....
My oh not keen on showers. He says it's cold and I'm cruel when I make him get undressed 🙂 he was always a clean tidy man and would ask if he looked tidy. I use "making him look tidy" , as a phrase I think he has some recognition of. I squirt no rinse products on him and he usually very reluctantly will try to rinse off in the shower. Doesn't
matter if he doesn't ,just towel off and dress.
I make a game of it singing, "singing in the rain" ",raindrops keep falling on my head". Childish but he joins in and smiles. Strictly style shimming( ?? )with the towel Distraction really. Appeal to his sense of fun
Exhausting though and it's a repeat battle to undress for bed
My husband won't shower either. I usually wash intimate areas every day telling him nurse said he must or he will get sore. Other areas I do in rotation as he wouldn't stand for an all over wash in one go. Sometimes I can manage soap and water but otherwise no rinse products. It seems to be getting wet that he doesn't like. At the moment manage to shave him with electric razor every other day although he isn't very keen on that either. I still manage to get us out every day so that is an incentive to look a bit presentable. His mobility is poor so going out more of a challenge but while he can I feel it is beneficial to both of us. All of this is very tiring though isn't it especially when getting an interrupted sleep.
It's difficult to get my wife to shower. I drop a hint when she goes into the bathroom each morning. Sometime she showers. Sometimes she doesn't, but says she has. After 6 days the pong gets unbearable. When she's in the bathroom, I wisk away the stinky clothes and put them in the washer. I have to febreze cushions sometimes.
Or the smell wafts across the lounge.
I hate that my life has come to this.
Or the smell wafts across the lounge.
I hate that my life has come to this.
I can remember the last time mum and dad came to stay with me. We didn't live close. Mum had dementia but was reasonably capable at that point. Mum was standing in the bathroom by the sink looking lost. I asked if she was alright. She said " he's asked me to get washed but I don't know how to. "
Dad didn't realise she needed help. After that he arranged a carer each morning to wash and dress mum .
Sometimes telling pwd isn't enough.
Dad didn't realise she needed help. After that he arranged a carer each morning to wash and dress mum .
Sometimes telling pwd isn't enough.
My husband was 'having a bath' each day but one day I noticed he hadn't been in there very long when he was pulling the plug out. The next day I watched from outside the door. He filled the bath with about 2" of water, sat in it for about 30 seconds then got out again. Most of him wasn't even wet.
Washing his hair meant putting some water on his fringe, putting something (shaving gel, toothpaste, soap - anything he could find) on the fringe then towel drying it (not rinsing or anything).
That was when I realised I needed to take over.
The not knowing what to do was key for my wife. Clothes off, Clothes on, phaff about. Simply didn't know how to take the correct sequence of steps. Now I run the bath for her and talk her through the steps. It also allows me to change her clothes/underwear when I feel appropriate. Every other day I go for, as too much work otherwise, but this is because I have to blow dry her hair afterwards or it will be frizzy. (There is a knack to blow drying frizzy hair, so that it doesn't frizz!
)You aren't alone, seems to be one thing that's very common. Seems to think a wet wipe is enough. Used to showered everyday but now become a real battle. It's 4 weeks tomorrow. I've just given up. No one else seems to care so why should I? I just make sure I don't get too close 🥴🥴
My OH cant shower himself! He doesn't know how or what to do! Keep asking him to when he doesn't know how to is wasting my energy and would get me upset.
Have you tried just following him inthe bathroom .? I don't give him a chance to think about it ,I just do .Pass soaped sponged ,give him one ,one for me and both do a quick soap and rinse. . I use no rinse products sometimes . Especially hair as he's definitely not keen on water on his head. and if the rinse isn't too good it doesn't matter
Have you tried just following him inthe bathroom .? I don't give him a chance to think about it ,I just do .Pass soaped sponged ,give him one ,one for me and both do a quick soap and rinse. . I use no rinse products sometimes . Especially hair as he's definitely not keen on water on his head. and if the rinse isn't too good it doesn't matter
Oh! This is tough. However, my uncle faced the same issue. We have adapted our bathroom from a company called EA Mobility to meet his needs. You can go through and see if it helps in this situation. The most important were a raised toilet, grab bars, and body dryer. There were many solutions. However, we have chosen wet rooms. I don't say it is game-changing. But, helped a bit and made his lifestyle a bit better. Have a look and let me know if you need any further help that I can share with you as per our experience.
