Virtual Christmas thread

[northumbrian_k]

That's my Christmas sorted. Birthday card delivered to my sister, born on 25 December. Box of edibles and 'luxury' bathing stuff - and a box of chocolates for the staff - dropped off for my wife. It will be just me and the dog on a lonely beach (weather permitting). I have grown to like it that way over the last few years. If anyone needs a sympathetic ear or some support I'll be on here as usual and will do my best to help.

 

[Old Flopsy]

@northumbrian_k - wandering on a lonely beach sounds ideal- then back to a nice warm house- how I wish I lived near the sea.

This will be my first Christmas after losing OH in September- seems strange, but it will soon be over.

I will be thinking about you all.

 

[Justmary]

I didn't know what to do
I was so down and weary
But then I found this site
And had advice from @canary .
When husband's behaviour deteriorated
And I was having a terrible day
I'd always end up smiling at a photo
Taken by @northumbrian_k .

I've learnt to be patient
Inner strength I've had to find
I've had a lot of encouragement
from @kindred who is kind.

My days are filled with toilet talk
poos, pads and soggy pants
So it's comforting that @Jaded'n'faded
Shares my love for gardens and plants.

I've laughed and I've cried
At the tribulations of @AbbyGee
Indeed everybody's stories
Are interesting to me.
Although I'm learning to drink like a fish
To be a poet is not my fate
cos I can't find anything to rhyme
With @Lawson58 .
Or @Canadian Joanne, @nitram
@margherita, @Bod , @Grannie G too,
but I'd like to wish a happy Christmas
to each and everyone of you.
And @maryjoan , @Dimpsy and @PalSal
Too many to mention I fear,
To all the wonderful people on this site
I wish a happy New Year.

I

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Tomorrow we're off to younger stepson's for Christmas Day. The granddaughters are 5 and 7 so it's all about them. Tonight I have a few gifts left to wrap.

After tomorrow, we will have a quiet week to ourselves.

 

[DreamsAreReal]

@Justmary That was a lovely poem! ?

A merry christmas to everyone on TP!

I’m hoping for an uneventful Christmas! I have mum (pwd) here, as I do every Christmas, but I’ve noticed a marked deterioration already. She keeps asking what time is the bus to go home and doesn’t remember she’s had xmas with us for the last 19 years. Keeping fingers crossed….

 

[AbbyGee]

@Justmary - Brilliant, just brilliant.

 

[canary]

Love it @Justmary

 

[Triffid]

Love and Merry Christmas to all you brave and amazing people. I come here whenever I feel lost and even if I don’t post it makes such a difference to know I’m not alone. Come down to dads today for Christmas and dads new live in carer decided to talk about the future and all the things likely to go wrong next…. I don’t want to know how steep the mountain to come is ( or deep the hole….)

 

[Alison66]

Hi everyone, it’s been a long time since I posted on here. This will be my 3rd Christmas without my darling mum, who past away on 27th November 2018. Time has not healed the loss, it’s just time which keeps passing without her. I feel lost & alone. At the very end of her life, I prayed to a God I don’t know to please take her, let her leave this world of pain, it’s not fair, she’s had enough. When finally she passed, we were all there, had been for the previous 2 weeks, stayed there all day, all night. I slept in beside her. I held her hand at night, wanting her to pass, terrified of what I’d do without her. And when it happened I was relieved because this despicable disease which had taken her essence, her vitality, her very being had finally let her go.
But now, 3 years later, I miss her more than ever & this Christmas means nothing. I have no tree, no lights, no presents bought, no festive spirit no wish to smile,or be with people.
I’m 55yrs of age & I want my mum so desperately I feel like I can’t breathe. She wouldn’t want this for me but she’s the only one who could help me free myself.
Thank you for letting me vent.

Much love to you all wherever you are on this journey. xxx

 

[lushr]

@alison, oh i’m so sorry you’re grieving like this, there’s nothing worse than feeling alone and missing the one you loved. myself i try to distract myself with television, things that are emotional help me cry, and the loud tv muffles the sound for the neighbours.

i hope there’s consolation in that she knew you loved her and she wouldn’t have wanted you to suffer watching her go downhill the way she did. she is at peace, her story will be remembered through you, in all the things you do. and so she is right there with you.

i talk to my dad when i’m angry at home for leaving me, or when the erugby is on this watch it with him, 6 years on, the pain still comes flooding back at the oddest moments. i’m not sure i’ll ever get over it.

but my christmas is an empty and apathetic one… it reminds me of christmas in japan where it’s a normal work day, the shops are open, life goes on. only here the shops are all closed, so i can’t go get a little retail therapy! so a non event christmas with a non event emotional calendar, and no one to spend it with…. just staving away the emptiness….

 

[Dutchman]

It’s early Christmas morning ( 05.40) and in normal times Bridget would be up and busy getting ready for our family arriving.

It’s so quiet and peaceful and it’s just me and the cat who’s asleep on my bed purring away?‍. I’ll see Bridget dinner time then over to my daughter’s for a meal.

I’m here for anyone who needs a chat and a understanding ear. Please be in touch if it’s all too much today
Peter ❤️

 

[Ms PH]

Good morning and Merry Christmas. This is my first post and my first year with my Mum in a care home after a rapid decline in her health over the past 8 months. She has been diagnosed with mixed dementia which is now mid stage and declining what seems like on a weekly basis.
We visited yesterday and it was a visit of two halves - started okish but then got harder as she wants to come home and doesn’t think there is anything wrong with her. She becomes difficult and won’t let you change the subject. We left as always with help from the staff to distract her while we left. I feel so guilty with her in there today and I’m at home with my family.
It doesn’t help that I lost my Nan (like a Mum to me) 15 months ago and am struggling with that loss too. Losing her had a severe effect on my Mum too which I think exacerbated her dementia and mental state.
I know there is nothing anyone can do but I can’t sleep and it felt like a good idea to let my feelings out in this way.
Best Wishes to you all. ?

 

[margherita]

That's my Christmas sorted. Birthday card delivered to my sister, born on 25 December. Box of edibles and 'luxury' bathing stuff - and a box of chocolates for the staff - dropped off for my wife. It will be just me and the dog on a lonely beach (weather permitting). I have grown to like it that way over the last few years. If anyone needs a sympathetic ear or some support I'll be on here as usual and will do my best to help.

If you have a dog, you are never alone.
Thanks for your kind words of support when I needed them.
I wish you serenity @northumbrian_k

 

[Grannie G]

Christmas isn`t my celebration although I always send greetings to friends old and new for whom this is a special time of the year.

I send greetings too to those of you lucky enough to have family gatherings and send special greetings to those who are alone and are feeling the absence of those they have loved and lost too difficult to bear.

 

[canary]

I wish everyone a Happy Christmas - where ever you are and whatever your circumstances. The family came down last weekend and we had a Mock Christmas and Mocksingday with presents etc, so today will be very quiet with just OH and I. Son and grandson put up the tree for me and there will be nice things to eat today, but apart from that there will be very little to remind me of Christmas - I cant even get to church today. I will also be busy as there are no carers today.
Never mind. I wont be lonely as I have all you lot ?

 

[kindred]

I didn't know what to do
I was so down and weary
But then I found this site
And had advice from @canary .
When husband's behaviour deteriorated
And I was having a terrible day
I'd always end up smiling at a photo
Taken by @northumbrian_k .

I've learnt to be patient
Inner strength I've had to find
I've had a lot of encouragement
from @kindred who is kind.

My days are filled with toilet talk
poos, pads and soggy pants
So it's comforting that @Jaded'n'faded
Shares my love for gardens and plants.

I've laughed and I've cried
At the tribulations of @AbbyGee
Indeed everybody's stories
Are interesting to me.
Although I'm learning to drink like a fish
To be a poet is not my fate
cos I can't find anything to rhyme
With @Lawson58 .
Or @Canadian Joanne, @nitram
@margherita, @Bod , @Grannie G too,
but I'd like to wish a happy Christmas
to each and everyone of you.
And @maryjoan , @Dimpsy and @PalSal
Too many to mention I fear,
To all the wonderful people on this site
I wish a happy New Year.

I

Just Mary, that is amazing, it will keep me going all day!! Thank you. Gxxx

 

[kindred]

Alison, I so so understand. This is my third Christmas without my most beloved husband.
I will have to get through the day as you will. It’s so hard isn’t it. Thank God for this forum.
Sending you love and thoughts, kindredxxx

 

[kindred]

It’s early Christmas morning ( 05.40) and in normal times Bridget would be up and busy getting ready for our family arriving.

It’s so quiet and peaceful and it’s just me and the cat who’s asleep on my bed purring away?‍. I’ll see Bridget dinner time then over to my daughter’s for a meal.

I’m here for anyone who needs a chat and a understanding ear. Please be in touch if it’s all too much today
Peter ❤️

Thanks Peter, much appreciated. This is a bloody hard day isn’t it. Love kindred

 

[Cat27]

Good morning and Merry Christmas. This is my first post and my first year with my Mum in a care home after a rapid decline in her health over the past 8 months. She has been diagnosed with mixed dementia which is now mid stage and declining what seems like on a weekly basis.
We visited yesterday and it was a visit of two halves - started okish but then got harder as she wants to come home and doesn’t think there is anything wrong with her. She becomes difficult and won’t let you change the subject. We left as always with help from the staff to distract her while we left. I feel so guilty with her in there today and I’m at home with my family.
It doesn’t help that I lost my Nan (like a Mum to me) 15 months ago and am struggling with that loss too. Losing her had a severe effect on my Mum too which I think exacerbated her dementia and mental state.
I know there is nothing anyone can do but I can’t sleep and it felt like a good idea to let my feelings out in this way.
Best Wishes to you all. ?

Welcome to TP @Ms PH
I‘m glad you’ve got your feelings out. TP is the perfect place for it.

I hope you have a peaceful day.

 

[canary]

Duchess of Cambridge playing piano accompaniment to a very appropriate song this Christmas