Update on my Dad

[jenniferpa]

I'm so glad, Sue, that some progress seems to be being made. I think it's fortunate that your entire family are "professionals" to be honest. It shouldn't make a difference but being able to speak to some of these people at (or in some cases above) their level makes it more likely that your family member will get the treatment and care they need. If I have any regrets about my mother it is that I wasn't more determined to get her the care she needed when she was in hospital -I was more focused in getting her out frankly.

I thought diazepam and lorazepam were essentially the same drugs with a different length of action, but I might be wrong.

 

[sue38]

I hope they've got a picture of a toilet as well as the word. And they should be hung at eye-height for a somewhat stooped older person.

Go get 'em, Sue!

Good point Hazel. My dad can still read, but we have discovered today there are 7 (seven) dementia patients on this 'respiratory' ward. It just seems to be the case that they are deemed to be the lowest of the low and shoved on this Victorian hell hole of a ward. It's just not good enough.

 

[daynurse]

hi sue i am new to the forum just posted about my mum have been reading through all the threads and i can relate to whats happening at the moment I am a ward sister on a busy surgical ward and we regularly have patients with dementia it is appauling that your dad got out on to the fire escape and certainly not acceptable however i have been in a similar situation having 21 patients on the ward and one gentleman did leave unnoticed it was a terrifying time unfortunatley you cant possibly see everything if you are behind curtains with someone its impossible but what should be happening and it does where i am when a patient is admitted any significant history and concern from the family regarding safety and absconding a bed watch is requested so the patient is accompanied/sat with for 24 hours its reassuring for the patient relatives and other patients on the ward yes its frowned upon by powers that be cost implications but i will justify my actions and say that could be your mum your grandma how would you feel what would you expect? you will always find obnoxious people powermad no matter where you go good for you for voicing your concerns it simply isnt good enough.. i hope things go ok and your dad is settled x

 

[sue38]

Thanks Jennifer.

This matron was confrontational before he knew I was a lawyer. When I handed him my letter exprssing our concerns on office notepaper his attitiude was even worse. When I asked him if he had 'taken on board our concerns' he accused me of 'lawyer speak'

He told me there were a number of 'factual inaccuracies' in my letter. When I asked him to be more specific he told me that my complaint that when we were asked to attend the hospital to try and calm my dad down and I had explained this was very difficult as the patient in the bed opposite had his own portable TV blaring out the England game, he said that it wasn't the patient's own TV but one provided by the hospital...

He then said another factual mistake was my assertion that this ward was wholly inappropriate for a demetia sufferer. When I pointed out that this was a matter of opinion on which we didn't agree and not 'factual' he again accused me of having my lawyer head on.

We are of the firm opinion that this is a man who is not used to being questioned by people of equal intelligence and (when it comes to dementia) superior experience. Perhaps he has bullied his way to the top.

I too regret not being more vocal in my concerns about the use of lorazepam. I expressed my concerns on Friday and it has taken until today to be taken seriously. I hope it is not too late.

Hi daynurse. I gathered you had medical qualifications. I am sure your joining us here on TP will be invaluable. I have been at pains to stresss that we have no issue with the nursing staff on the ward. They are doing their very best and are extremely approachable and caring, but they are run off their feet and cannot have eyes in the back of their heads.

Believe it or not, my dad is not the most challenging dementia patient on the ward. Another man with dementia is even more determined than my dad to escape. My sister was chatting to his son whilst I was still 'antlers locked' with the matron. He is in an EMI home (the one I looked at and thought was awful) where he has one to one care. He had a fall, hence the reason he is in hospital and although only 7 stone puts up a damn good fight.

The nurses from ICU have never seen anything like this (their patients are ventilated and immobile) and it sure is an eye-opener for them.

 

[jenniferpa]

I'm sure you're right about this matron getting where he is by being a bully. Unfortunately the way the system is set up (very hierarchical) with patients at the bottom of the pile in terms of knowledge (normally) and mostly unwilling to rock the boat, you don't have to be known to be in the legal profession (or medical profession - I was once asked if I was a doctor ) be be regarded with suspicion if you don't immediately roll over. I will confess to emphasising my americaness (if that's a word) so that I could ask for things which might not have been the norm.

 

[daynurse]

the matron sounds like a ??!!! no need for it is there? ican imagine the ICU staff didnt know what had hit them!!! it makes me wonder if you hadnt kicked up a fuss would they have got extra cover it doesnt harm either expressing your concerns i will be doing the same shortly if this hospital referral doesnt come soon some people just dont live in the real world do they! till we get a diagnosis theres not a lot more i can do i did my mums bloods took the results with us to surgery otherwise they take weeks pushed for the test 28/30 im probably frowned upon as the obnoxious relative but i really really dont care mum takes priority so will just have to see..

 

[sue38]

im probably frowned upon as the obnoxious relative but i really really dont care mum takes priority so will just have to see..

If they were handing out prizes for obnoxious relatives, I'd definitely be in with a shot of winning if this matron were the judge, but like you I don't care. All I care about is my dad.

Everyone else involved in my dad's care I can talk to, but not this man. He tried to persuade me not to hand in my letter of complaint and refused to accept it. Nice try, but this has made me all the more determined to fax it to everyone I can, and I am drafting a further letter of complaint about him...

 

[daynurse]

go straight to the top sue chief executive that usually makes them quiver...

 

[Helen33]

Hi Sue

Well you managed to achieve a great deal today and I hope that this means you will get some peace of mind and rest tonight.

I was so pleased to read that your dad is calming down now and he might get some rest too now.

Love

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Sue

Just sending support, sympathy and understanding. You really do need to be on the ball when dealing with people who relish the idea of their `authority`.
I do hope your father will be all right. It`s enough he`s in hospital without all the additional stress.
Love xx

 

[daynurse]

hope your dad had a good night sue

 

[DianeB]

(((((Sue))))) What can I say that others havn't. This is totally unacceptable and very worrying. As you may know my Mum also was put on a respiratory ward apart from everything else that went wrong, did go wrong and I ended up complaining to the PALS nad now ICAS. When Mums staff nurse told me she could not guarantee her safety, that was it, if I could have pushed Mum out of that hospital I would have. I have always said there's no better place to be than hospital if your poorly, how very wrong my words were and I would never say that ever again.... if there were proper trained staff who have trained in dementia then I know hospitals would be a better place for our loved ones when poorly, but unfortunately this isn't happening, hence my petition.
I know how upsetting and fustrating this can be and I am sending you loads of ((((hugs)))).

 

[sue38]

Thank you daynurse and Diane.

The problem with the hospital my dad is in is that all the psychiatric serives are at another site, some 7.5 miles away. There was no one with any psychiatric training available yesterday, but the registrar was able to speak to them by phone.

This morning I received a call from the sister on the ward to say that they were considering moving my dad to the psychiatric unit at the other site. As my work is only round the corner, I nipped up to speak to her. My dad had had a more settled night and the nurse from ICU had stayed with him all night.

He was overjoyed to see me, mainly I think because he thought I had come to take him home, but anything is better than the broken man telling me he couldn't go on that we found yesterday afternoon. We agreed that he should go to the assessment unit, not ideal, but hopefully better than the place he is in at the moment.

 

[Skye]

Dear Sue

Heartbresking for you, but hopefully your dad will get the appropriate treatment on the assessment ward.

Love,

 

[Catherine M]

Dear Sue keep your chin up and kepp going it is hard just joined today look after my husband full time not easy God Bless Catherine x

 

[Grannie G]

Dear Sue

I hope the move to the assessment ward works out for your dad. They are not the nicest of places but Dhiren really was helped by his stay. I can only wish the same for your father.

Love xx

 

[daynurse]

hope your dad gets the appropriate care sue thinking of you

 

[sue38]

My dad is now in the assessment unit and my sister and I visited him tonight.

Not the most pleasant of places, but he is safe, the staff are understanding and experienced, and my dad, if not exactly content, is OK.

Can't say much more at the moment...

 

[Skye]

Thinking of you, Sue.

It must be hard, having to leave your dad there, but at least he's safe, and the staff know how to handle someone with dementia.

I hope they soon manage to stabilise him.

Love,

 

[Helen33]

Dear Sue

Just sending my best wishes and glad that your dad is now in a place more suited to offering the right help.

Thinking of you.

Love