We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.
Find out more >here<.
Good Evening and best wishes to you all. A lot has happened during the last few days. He’s had total body weakness and twelve falls over the last two weeks. I am with him 24/7. On Sunday I tried to assist him up from being laid on his back on the carpeted bathroom floor. A relative lifted him up, and after assisting him to have a poo, we both managed to get him downstairs to his comfy reclining chair. I’d noticed he’d not had much urine output in his catheter leg bag and his face was a little red and hot together with his usual cold hands, now quite warm. By now, he’d had five days of antibiotics for his water infection. I called the community nurses during the early hours of Monday and they managed to get his leg bag filling again. His temperature was high and other checks and lack of mobility warranted a hospital visit, but I promised to call the GP urgently in the morning, as I didn’t want him to go into hospital, as I know how serious everything is at the moment. Unfortunately, on Tuesday evening I was having difficulty getting him downstairs and advised him to sit on his bottom for safety. He rested on the bottom two steps for a while, but was utterly exhausted and there was no way he had any energy left to try and get up, even with my help. I had no option, but to call 111 for advice and they sent a couple of wonderful people, who lifted him from the floor with a device that filled with air. He was taken to hospital and given some different antibiotics. The GP had tried calling me Wednesday morning whilst I was food shopping for elderly relatives. I called back and the advice there is that he should have a placement with long term care required. He is still unsteady on his feet and not safe to come home yet, after O.T. assessment. A suggestion was respite care or coming home and a special bed in the lounge and a commode. There isn’t room for these and in any case, my fear is that he would try and get up the stairs through the night. We do have a downstairs toilet, without heating in there, but needs must. He really should have agreed to that stairlift years ago. I really don’t know yet if this is an escalation of his Multiple Sclerosis disability or his MS Dementia or a continuation of the water infection. I have made a decision that home is best for the time being, once he can move with his Zimmer and I can accompany him on the stairs and will contact the Falls Team for every fall. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.Hope you get something sorted out.
On the short term I have used a
The camel allows you to single handedly raise someone from the floor.The Camel is commonly used in a range of settings, such as the emergency services, care homes, hospitals, Telecare response teams and in the community, reducing the risk of injury and associated costs.www.mobilitysmart.co.uk
I found it easy to use.
Hello and thank you for your help. The O.T. yesterday reckoned he wasn’t safe to come home yet. However, this afternoon I heard a loud knock on the door and there he was, having been brought home. The discharge letter reckons they’d contacted me. A good job I wasn’t food shopping for elderly relatives. So, I’m now sat on the landing whilst he tries to have a poo, 30 minutes and waiting, so that I can shower, shave and dress him.Sorry to hear your troubles.
I read your post and the thought that is screaming in my head is RESPITE CARE Is the correct decision.
what if he comes home and falls down the stairs?
you sound like such a nice person I feel you would be eaten up with guilt.
If he goes to respite care one of three things will happen.
He will get better = super have him arrive in home good shape
He will stay the same= you’re will have had time to recharge your batteries and get an OT round to the house to discuss adaptations in the mean time.
He will get worse= You wouldn’t be able to manage him at home anyway.
Thank you for your help. I washed his hands as soon as he was brought home unexpectedly. Gave him a drink, got him upstairs, showered and dried him, nails cut, a shave, leg bag change, contact lenses in and moisturised his skin and sorted his medication. He continually needs a poo, which is usually wind and is getting more and more confused. Shouting for advice/instructions, didn’t know what to do with the food on his plate, so I had to feed him. Had difficulty getting downstairs and needed a lot of help to sit on his bottom to get downstairs. Also shouting that he’s not messed around with other women! Where has that come from?? So strange... Anyone dealt with things like this before? Thank you.
Hello again.Thank you for your help. I washed his hands as soon as he was brought home unexpectedly. Gave him a drink, got him upstairs, showered and dried him, nails cut, a shave, leg bag change, contact lenses in and moisturised his skin and sorted his medication. He continually needs a poo, which is usually wind and is getting more and more confused. Shouting for advice/instructions, didn’t know what to do with the food on his plate, so I had to feed him. Had difficulty getting downstairs and needed a lot of help to sit on his bottom to get downstairs. Also shouting that he’s not messed around with other women! Where has that come from?? So strange... Anyone dealt with things like this before? Thank you.
30 years! I couldn’t do that for a partner. I have done caring since the 80’s but in a professional capacity. I struggle to take care of my parents for 5years. You’re an angel for doing that but I can see why you want to finish. Aggressiveness is not nice and with your health you are right to be concerned. Good luck.Hello again and thanks for all the advice. Social Services were to have called me last Thursday, still waiting for a call. He’s required his constant, instant attention all day. Doesn’t really know where he is as usual, always asking time, month, day etc. Nodding off throughout the day. Wanting to go for a wee and constant poos, so I have to be with him on the stairs. Had to manipulate his newly fitted leg bag as it was clogging a little. The toilet frame that had been in situ for a few days was moved across the bathroom by him and he told me it was useless and he didn’t need it. He went into the bathroom for yet another poo around 10 pm tonight, shouting loudly and he’d literally fallen into it. So I had to get him out of it and he was quite angry that I wouldn’t lift him up onto the toilet. I left him to it. My hips and back are still hurting from lifting him last night. Had to then get him back to bedroom via his Zimmer, fit night bag and lift his heavy legs into bed. Let’s hope I can have a few hours sleep tonight for once. Once everything better, I will visit some care homes, as I can’t meet his needs anymore, as he is having a fall every day and because I’m his wife, he is demanding that I get him up! He certainly wouldn’t use a stairlift and had always resisted. My 30 years of caring will be coming to an end!