I’m so sorry you’ve both had such a terrible time but I do hope it’s made you more determined to get the help you desperately need. Please be persistent with the Council and prepare yourself for a battle, don’t take no for an answer. Take care x
Oh @Sunshine2* , I am glad nurses helped but you do need more help now and not in however long this takes to get back to a normal . Please do call in the morning . Hope you have both managed to get some sleep .
Hello and thank you for your continued support which I really appreciate.
Not much sleep on the chairs overnight. He was muttering all night. This morning he slipped off the reclining chair onto the carpeted lounge floor. No strength whatsoever in his entire body. Had to call 111 for advice. Two of them managed to get him back in his chair. All the usual checks were okay and a referral has been made. They were truly wonderful and kind. Thank you NHS.
I called Social Services too and left lots of details and a social worker and O.T. have called me. I stressed that I needs emergency respite care, as he cannot move from his chair and if he needs a poo, I don’t know what I will do. Even if carers came in, the odds are that he would need a poo whilst I’m on my own. I have cared for him for 30 years, but I cannot lift him up anymore and I’m in a lot of pain too.
@Sunshine2* , hope someone gets back to you very, very soon. If they don't keep phoning and keep telling them you need help now. If he falls again, don't attempt any lifting just get 111. Do you have contact numbers for local councillors or MP. The ones round here have been very pro-active at getting things sorted, but of course it might be different where you are.
I’m so glad you had help lifting him @Sunshine2* , I’m not surprised you are in pain . Agree completely with @Sarasa , call again if you don’t hear soon, they have the duty of care not you and if he does fall call 111 again, do not try to lift him yourself .Fingers crossed you get some help soon . Take care .
Hello and thank you so much for your helpful advice and support.
I had to wash him and clean his teeth whilst he was in his chair and also feed him his breakfast, as he couldn’t move from his chair, where he’d been all night.
I had a call in the afternoon from an out of hours GP surgery, who took lots of details and I went to collect a prescription for some antibiotics he’d had in hospital for his UTI. She was also concerned about possible pressure sores. Home and first tablet taken. Then I had a call from another Social Worker who wanted to do a home visit tomorrow to check on him and do an assessment. I’d been told earlier in the day that there was no emergency respite available this weekend and Monday was a holiday too.
I asked, “How will I manage if he needs a poo and I can’t get him to the downstairs toilet?” A chair to get him to standing was suggested, but he can only stand for a couple of seconds before his body gives way again, so that wouldn’t be much use. A hoist was mentioned and also a bed and commode in the lounge!
Anyway, after his evening meal, he wanted a poo, but couldn’t get up from his chair, so I had to lift him to standing. Between us we managed to get him to near the downstairs toilet when his body suddenly gave way and I could hold him no longer and he gently slipped to the floor. Now we were stuck in an enclosed space and I had no option but to call 111 again.
He was lifted onto the toilet and I wiped him after it. He was tachycardic, so they took him to hospital. The hospital rang to say he was in A & E and was waiting to be assessed by the Dr.
Thanks again to the wonderful NHS.
They have just called again and wanted some more details and said they’d be keeping him in overnight and he’d be assessed again tomorrow. Thank you.
oh my @Sunshine2* another eventful day
I'm glad your husband is in hospital where he will be assessed
and hope you get some sleep tonight
if it is even hinted that your husband is discharged back home please refuse ... hopefully by now it will be realised he must have residential care
So glad your husband is in hospital, he should never have been discharged in the first place. As @Shedrech says if it is suggested he is discharged home refuse, even if they’ve brought him to your doorstep.
Hope you get a proper nights rest.
Oh @Sunshine2* I am glad your husband is being assessed, please try and get some rest . I had to refuse a discharge for a good friend and it was the best thing as he was properly assessed and other medical conditions were found and he was then transferred to a lovely care home . Take care.
Thank you all for your very kind and supportive words which really help me. Yes, I had nearly seven hours of continuous sleep, which hasn’t happened for years.
I am so sad for my husband and for everything he is going through, as he loves his home, even though he doesn’t always recognise it and doesn’t think he is home.
Best wishes to you all and I hope everything is going well for you.
Hi there, I just wanted to re-iiterate what someone said earlier about a high rating care home. We viewed one for my dad last year and it was amazing, like a hotel with an Outstanding rating, however they initially said they could take Dad with his complex behaviours but then suddenly nothing, they treat us terribly and strung us along, 12 months later they went from 'outstanding' to 'special measures' and remain there.
Several months later I find a more local home but with a rating of 'Requires Improvement' and I went to look with my own eyes and yes, its not a hotel like the other one but its very homely, the people there care and they make the effort with my Dad, he can be very very challenging but they do care and look after him. The dinners are great and he has long areas to walk up and down with nice views. They still have a rating of 'requires improvement' but I know he is safe there and cared for, I also read the reports for me, the areas in which they are lacking dont have a direct effect on my dads care, risk or safety, so I am OK with that. I would rather he was there than anywhere else right now.
Hello and thank you all for your kind words and I hope you are all doing okay in the current situation.
My husband is just going into his second week in hospital. I was told by the hospital team on Friday that his mobility hasn’t really improved since he was brought in and everyone has to constantly watch him and be by his side when using his zimmer, as he is at risk of falling. I asked if a stair assessment had been done, she states it wouldn’t be safe to do that.
His MS and MS Dementia is affecting him more than usual, along with the water infection.
He is very confused and sometimes agitated and doesn’t know where he is. Yesterday he called me 32 times and has had telephone conversations with other people too.
He won’t use the downstairs toilet, as there’s no heat in there and I know if he came home he would tire himself out trying to get to the upstairs bathroom. For many years he refused the advice of O.T.’s and physios and myself to have a stair lift.
Previously, before he went into hospital for the second time, an O.T. rang and said, “What about a profiling bed, wheeled commode and sit and lift chair in the lounge?” We don’t have any room for those and in any case, he wouldn’t be able to stand for longer than a few seconds and he wouldn’t use the items. A call from a social worker mentioned a hoist, but I said, surely you need training and two people for that?
He called again today, very distraught and is constantly wanting to come home to see me, as he is lonely. I want nothing more than for him to be home. However, he had 18 collapses to the floor in two and a half weeks and I was constantly trying to lift him up, but my Osteoarthritis, Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and Cervical Spondylosis in my neck and spine were putting a stop to that. The GP has said that he needs a placement in a care facility.
I only wish we’d moved to a bungalow with a wet room many years ago, but again, he needs to go for a poo numerous times day and night, so how will I manage that now, if he remains unable to do the stairs and what if he starts falling again.
Thank goodness he has an indwelling catheter because I can look after that, but he doesn’t always remember he has one.
I don’t know what to do.
He has been assessed at not having Mental Capacity now. I asked for the NHS Healthcare funding checklist to be done, but I’ve been told it doesn’t trigger. I have asked for a letter advising why not.
I just want to bring him home, as it is all too sad, but I don’t know how we would manage those stairs for the bathroom/bedroom. At this moment in time I wouldn’t be able to leave him alone ever and I am doing elderly relatives shopping.
At the moment, the hospital are trying to find some respite care for him temporarily, and they have all been wonderful and very kind, but I’m really worried about him picking up this virus.
He keeps calling to ask when he’s coming home...
Hi at @Sunshine2* . I was wondering how things are. I'm sorry things are so, so hard at present. Hope a placement is available soon so they can work hard on getting his mobility better, but at present however much you both want it, coming home doesn not sound like a viable option.
I'm glad you were able to update @Sunshine2* but sorry nothing has changed for the better. It sounds like the respite care (and potentially a permanent placement) is the safest option as this is a very difficult situation for both of you. You are doing the right thing.