The sun is shining yet I feel sad and envious

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
This is my first time 'blogging' and I'm feeling that I'm being disloyal but life is pretty bleak. It's interesting that there are so many kind and inspirational people dealing with ghastly situations with hope and fortitude.
My better half was formally diagnosed with Parkinson's dementia about two years ago although there had been signs of both parkinsons and cognitive impairment for several years before. He lacks any motivation and is now unable to look after himself. I gave up my job -whichI loved- in March. I cope with the basic caring (though I'm not to keen with the incontinence aspects or the broken nights) and I manage the home and all the extra curricular activities such as doctors, hospitals, finances. The main strain is that he can no longer form sentences or make any form of conversation. I can talk for England but it would be more stimulating if it wasn't a monologue! Life seems very grey and lacklustre. It sounds as though I'm very sorry for myself (I am!) and obviously one will just carry on but really what is the point? Ok rant over . Reading the blog here makes me very aware that I have little to moan about but it's one of those days.....
Hi and a warm welcome from me to TP. :) Here on Talking Point, you are allowed to rant away, feel sorry for yourself, have a little moan or a Great Big Moan, and everybody understands perfectly. :) Nobody judges you, or makes you feel that you should be a mixture of Mother Theresa and Princess Diana, and serenely sail through every sleepless night, and incontinence outcome.

Whatever your situation, you can be sure that at least one of the lovey people on here will have experienced something similar and can help and/or advise. And you win the prize for a stunning name. :) Many moons ago, I helped a quiz team I was on win first prize cos I knew the one of the Queen Mum's names was Marguerite. :D
 

rhubarbtree

Registered User
Jan 7, 2015
480
North West
When I first saw this heading it took me back to O level sociology, so many years ago. Durkheim wondered why there were more suicides in the summer months than the winter. Research showed it was because sad, lonely people could see others out and about enjoying themselves. And that's what we see.

Oh Irismay, the closing windows and doors. Over the last few days I have suddenly been reunited with hot flushes only to find doors shut and locked. Have been making a real effort not to get annoyed or discuss this, just about managing to get up and reopen. OH not to be parted from his vest but at least woolly jumpers have been left off.

At the moment my greatest miss is the TV news. Have to shield OH from all the atrocities, they really distress him and as he has little sense of time he cannot distinguish between old and new footage. Tonight my son rang and we had a long chat about politics made me realise how much I was missing a conversation. Thank goodness for the internet. Email, facebook and twitter keep me in touch with the real world. I really don't think I could cope as a carer without it.
 

Daisymarguerite

Registered User
Jul 18, 2016
10
Hi and a warm welcome from me to TP. :) Here on Talking Point, you are allowed to rant away, feel sorry for yourself, have a little moan or a Great Big Moan, and everybody understands perfectly. :) Nobody judges you, or makes you feel that you should be a mixture of Mother Theresa and Princess Diana, and serenely sail through every sleepless night, and incontinence outcome.

Whatever your situation, you can be sure that at least one of the lovey people on here will have experienced something similar and can help and/or advise. And you win the prize for a stunning name. :) Many moons ago, I helped a quiz team I was on win first prize cos I knew the one of the Queen Mum's names was Marguerite. :D
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement . It's a lovely hot sunny day and I'm really working at counting my blessings!
I decided to stop using the carers last week thinking I could manage on my own. Guess what? I was wrong. Not only are they much better at managing OH but it is another face in the house. I think the social worker was rather wise when she said let's stop the help for a week and review.
i hope everyone on TP can enjoy the lovely weather and get some calm in their souls !
 

teetoe

Registered User
Mar 10, 2016
78
NSW, Australia
It's really hard not to get bogged down in the banality of looking after someone with dementia isn't it, the empty conversations, the loneliness, even sitting in a coffee bar with nothing to say - but here we are, and we need to address it.

My goal for tomorrow:
  • Make a to-do list and try to knock one thing off a day
  • Put on upbeat music all day and sing to it
  • Go for a walk with or without OH, anywhere that is "out" amongst people
  • Call a friend for a chat and not mention "dementia"
oh. and try to be a little more patient. :)
 

Trisha4

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
2,440
Yorkshire
It's really hard not to get bogged down in the banality of looking after someone with dementia isn't it, the empty conversations, the loneliness, even sitting in a coffee bar with nothing to say - but here we are, and we need to address it.

My goal for tomorrow:
  • Make a to-do list and try to knock one thing off a day
  • Put on upbeat music all day and sing to it
  • Go for a walk with or without OH, anywhere that is "out" amongst people
  • Call a friend for a chat and not mention "dementia"
oh. and try to be a little more patient. :)
Hi teetoe. I can go along with all your suggestions but I do struggle with the little more patient. Hot weather doesn't help!


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
 

christmas

Registered User
Apr 27, 2014
206
Leicestershire
That's just how I feel we saved all our life so we could do things when we retired ,we had so many plans, it's funny you don't think one of you will be ill , every day I think wouldn't it be nice to go on holiday but that's not going to happen but I can dream , so don't feel bad for your thoughts , believe me you are not on your own.Christmas xxxhugs