Hi,
I wont go in to the long boring details however just a quick background on my situation..
My father has dementia and in a home, he has been for past two years. My mother (wife ) and I visit him very regularly. My father has two other sons, one who doesn't have anything to do with him and one who lives in America. This son has never liked me or my mother and has done everything in his power to make my mother out to be an ogre...writing letters to social services to the home saying she tried to kill him, steal his money etc. He feels there is nothing wrong with him and we have put him there against his will, which of course is ludicrous.
The son in America visits once a year twice maybe, winds dad up by filling his head with lies saying hell get him out etc. Now for the past two weeks a strange lady has started visiting my father... we have never met her before but when mum bumped in to her and said she was his wife she stood up and left very sharpish ( saying she was there as the son in America had asked )
Now due to this woman popping up out of the blue, never met her before and told the home she was a relative when she wasn't we do not want her to visit him. This is mainly due to the fact we don't trust the son in america and it all smells a bit fishy. If he wants to know how his father is he can ring and find out not send a strange woman in to do his dirty work.
My mother confronted her this morning in company of the manager and politely told her not to visit again, she said if she was told to by said son then she will visit when she likes and left. The manager at the care home said if my father doesn't mind her visiting then they dont think they can stop her.....This is very upsetting for me as he is there for a reason as he cant make decisions for himself and he doesn't even know her. My father can hold a conversation and can say what he wants for dinner,breakfast etc however you ask him something one minute youll get a different answer the next time he's confused and I do not think the care home are acting in his best interests here and I want to know where I stand on this decision...please someone shed some light on this.
He is not short of visitors, I am his deputy but only for finances.
Thanks in advance,
Jenna
I wont go in to the long boring details however just a quick background on my situation..
My father has dementia and in a home, he has been for past two years. My mother (wife ) and I visit him very regularly. My father has two other sons, one who doesn't have anything to do with him and one who lives in America. This son has never liked me or my mother and has done everything in his power to make my mother out to be an ogre...writing letters to social services to the home saying she tried to kill him, steal his money etc. He feels there is nothing wrong with him and we have put him there against his will, which of course is ludicrous.
The son in America visits once a year twice maybe, winds dad up by filling his head with lies saying hell get him out etc. Now for the past two weeks a strange lady has started visiting my father... we have never met her before but when mum bumped in to her and said she was his wife she stood up and left very sharpish ( saying she was there as the son in America had asked )
Now due to this woman popping up out of the blue, never met her before and told the home she was a relative when she wasn't we do not want her to visit him. This is mainly due to the fact we don't trust the son in america and it all smells a bit fishy. If he wants to know how his father is he can ring and find out not send a strange woman in to do his dirty work.
My mother confronted her this morning in company of the manager and politely told her not to visit again, she said if she was told to by said son then she will visit when she likes and left. The manager at the care home said if my father doesn't mind her visiting then they dont think they can stop her.....This is very upsetting for me as he is there for a reason as he cant make decisions for himself and he doesn't even know her. My father can hold a conversation and can say what he wants for dinner,breakfast etc however you ask him something one minute youll get a different answer the next time he's confused and I do not think the care home are acting in his best interests here and I want to know where I stand on this decision...please someone shed some light on this.
He is not short of visitors, I am his deputy but only for finances.
Thanks in advance,
Jenna