1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Sorry to moan, but I am on the moan.

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Margarita, Feb 19, 2007.

  1. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Sorry to moan, but I am on the moan.

    Why is my mother sleeping so much?

    Ok on days that she go to daycentre she more motivated, then when she gets home she sit on chair and falls asleep is they anyone that caring for someone at home and they see this in the person they care for.

    I am just wondering if this is all part of AZ , mum blood sugar level are ok so that’s rule out so am wondering if this is all part of AZ.

    I want her arguing with me, getting angry, she only pick up if someone come around

    Is this a sigh that her AZ is progestin? (sp)
     
  2. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,417
    Maggie: how old is she? From what I've seen, even without dementia, a lot of older people spend a great deal of time sleeping (that, or not sleeping at all).

    Jennifer
     
  3. allylee

    allylee Registered User

    Feb 28, 2005
    180
    west mids
    Dear Maggie,
    Ive nursed my nan and mum through AD. At 84 nan slept all the time, at 72 my mum never sits still and wanders all night.
    Think Jennifer could be right in her suggestion that older people sleep more, but also that AD is so individual.

    LOve
    Ally xx
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,669
    Kent
    Hi Margarita,

    I don`t think you really want your mother to argue with you and get angry. I just think if she behaves like that, you`ll know she`s her normal self and not losing interest in her life.

    Are you frightened? Do you think she is deteriorating?

    There are two ways to look at sleeping. On the one hand it could be because of boredom, but on the other hand it could be to help the body cope with stress, to rest it and heal.

    If she comes to life when visitors call, would she be able to sustain it for long, or would she get tired of the company.

    When did she last have a check up?

    If you are worried her Alzheimers is progressing ask for a check up for her.

    Love Sylvia x
     
  5. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    hi margarita,

    got no answers sorry , just to say my mum is also sleeping lots even to the point in falling asleep during dinner, the hospital dont seem that concerned about it, she is on seroxat for depression so i just assumed it was that.

    im not sure if age is a factor with my mum as she's 66, ive put it down to the medication
    my nan who was a diabetic and 92 when she died used to sleep a lot i remember, perhaps its time for mum to have a checkup on her sugar?
    good luck
    donna xxx
     
  6. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Maggie

    I asked Rays Consultant about this last year when he was having the same problem and he informed me that the sleeping can be for many reasons, including medication.......... but that it is something that they see quite often in patients in the mid to late stages of dementia.

    If your concerned about it, have a word with your mums GP or Consultant, it might just mean a change or alteration in medication.

    Love Alex x
     
  7. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Margarita

    I think the others are right, you need to see your Mum's consultant and discuss the medication.

    Have you asked at the day centre if your Mum sleeps while she is there? If not, it's probably boredom. John tends to fall asleep in his chair because he is not understanding what is going on, so he opts out. And yet when I take him out he can go on all day.

    Please look after yourself -- perhaps you need a check-up yourself. You've had such a lot of stress recently.

    LOve,
     
  8. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london



    Yes I am, I am frightened. Its really scary and I don’t know why I am scared , What can I do, how do I stop wanting to just cry, I keep holding it all in, how I have just let those tears flow feel better , just that I want to cry my eyes out , but not upset anyone , I don’t get the time to organise to go counselling and if I go counselling all I would do is cry , they tell me to go for a walk, go window shopping, but those feeling are still within me maybe I should get ant depression . I learn to live with AZ, but now do I learn to live within myself feeling like this

    This happen in the summer and I put it down to the heat.

    I feel why did I give my mother this medication, why did I think it was a cure, its prolonging the inevitable, it was not for a cure, its just prolonging it and its hitting me now

    I meet someone elderly lady at the bus stop today, we got talking and she told me that her mother 92 and in a care come, she said her mother went funny in the head, I said oh you mean she got AZ. I then told her I did not know what AZ dementia was before my mother got it.

    She look at me strangely & said how could you not of none? Well I said I thought mum was going mad,( I did not say that I thought she would of ended up in a mental home ) . The woman had the cheek to say that AZ is not a disease . well I was explaining the different , which was point less , lucky I am not a rude person so when she change the subject I went along with it . Later on it May me wonder, have I lost the plot am I missing something and my fear I now know I am scared of the unknown, not knowing what to expect, what to believe.

    I have been brought up around people with mental illness, they take medication and with rehabilitation they can get better they can’t die of it unless its self inflicted, they don’t show the sighs of what my mother is showing.

    This medication for AZ is giving my mother yes good end of life, that is not a text book of AZ how she would be if she did not have this medication, so before I blow it all out of proportion in my mind, I share it write it all out so I can get it clear in my mind , that I done the right thing , I don’t want to be scared . I don’t want her to die and I don’t want to see her slowly sleep her end of life away.

    So thank- you yes so older people do sleep a lot , and if I look back to last summer when this happen before , yes it could be a healing to sleep because like last summer when this happen after a mouth or 2 she came back to me , I did get her check up back then and the lady from the memory clinic who was not very happy doing another memory test again on mum told me mum had drop 2 points its all so strange and I just wandering if its all part of the dementia , so maybe what I am seeing is my mother take another drop.
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Margarita, love, you've answered your own question. It is the unknown, because however much we read about AD, and hear about other people's problems, it doesn't make it easier to cope with our own.

    We are watching the person we love turn into a stranger, a stranger with all sorts of behavioural problems, but still the person we love. And it's hard. No-one who hasn't experienced it knows how hard.

    Maggie, you need to get some help. Go and arrange for some counselling. It doesn't matter if all you do is cry the first time. They're used to it. Please do it.

    I'm so pleased you had the courage to make this post. That's the first step. We'll support you all we can, but please get professional help too.

    Love, and big, big hugs
     
  10. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    {{{{maggie}}}} It's Ok to just go to counselling and cry. Sounds like it's what you need to do at the moment. Ask your GP to arrange it?
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,669
    Kent
    Dear Margarita,

    I understand when you say you have no time for counselling.

    Counselling is a long process. If you`re lucky to get a counsellor who really empathizes, it will still take time to unravel all the emotions before any relief can be felt.

    While this is happening, unravelling the emotions, crying, working towards managing feelings, the ones we love are deteriorating.

    The goalposts keep moving.

    I`m sorry you`re having such a bad time just now. Love Sylvia x
     
  12. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hiya Maggie

    Its o.k. to go to pieces and cry sometimes maggie, we all do it, its natural that your scared because you feel the future is uncertain for you at the moment..............i think that if you look back on your life and see what you've coped with, you'll realise that you can cope with this too.........your one strong, independent lady.........you've proved that!.........you will cope, even though you might not feel as though will.

    Being a full time carer and moving house are both very stressful. If you feel you need to talk to someone then see a counsellor or even your GP, it doesn't matter if you cry.......they will be happy to listen............but your health is important too maggie.

    Sending you a BIG HUG Maggs;)
    Love Alex x
     
  13. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #13 Margarita, Feb 20, 2007
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2007
    Your all right thanks you all really do understand I thought moving would change every thing , make me cope better now I fell that I have just been avoiding my own feeling , its like its all blowing up into my face , so this when mum go to day centre am going to make an appointment with doctor to ask for a referral for counselling and pick up a perception that I have been forgetting on purpose not to pick up , am trying to pull to much without help , I know that the ant depression tablets are not going to take the issue away with mum AZ , but if it retighten those chemical in my brain that are draining out , I want to see if it does make me feel better , I do feel like I am giving up because I have been trying for so many years , alternative therapy
    I have tried my best to get the balance back in my mind on my own. Then to take a tablet with a chemical in it maybe I should not see it as giving in just reaching out. I suppose I am just human, no super person.

    I know I hate feeling negative , yes as Alex says because I did have those coping skill as I look back , I’ve always been a positive person so to feel like this so negative I know I got to seek help and I am glad I have all of you . I did feel embarrassed this morning thinking about what I said on this, but hell gosh it I did not have TP I think I would go potty in my mind with all so many negative emotions popping in out of my mind and I can’t move forward in myself , and I so want to see this to the end with mum at home , then care home but not with bring me down . I want to face the unknow with my mother

    Thanks all xxx
     
  14. candymostdandy@

    candymostdandy@ Registered User

    May 12, 2006
    81
    west sussex
    Hi Margarita

    I've recently been put in touch with Carers Emotional Support Service, they offer a call back service so that when you feel that you need to talk to someone they are at the end of the phone. they also arrange counselling. Is this service available where you live. I've certainly found it useful.
     
  15. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland

    Hi Margarita

    Have you made that appointment? I do hope so. And get that prescription. We all like to think we can cope without drugs, but there comes a time when we all need that support. It needn't be permanent.

    Nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, not by any failure in ourselves. Your Mum has medication to correct her sugar imbalance, this is no different.

    And be proud of yourself for your post. That took courage. We all suffer negative emotions, and TP is the place to express them.

    Keep in touch, we're all thinking of you.

    Love and hugs,
     
  16. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    Hi Margerita: I agree with the others and praise you for your post.

    I do feel you are suffering the aftermath of moving etc. - it is considered to be one of the biggest stresses of life - and you have coped with that as well as all the difficulties and worries of your Mum. I would have thought it was very 'normal' to be feeling off colour but you do need to see a doc - even a recommendation of a tonic or something might help!! (not sure about anti depress. tablets unless they really think that is necessary).

    Yes my hubbie sleep such a lot - ok he is 77 but I do think it is the Alz that is
    causing the tiredness (or as others have said a boredom which cannot be overcome because he cannot 'do' new things to keep his interests up).
    As you all say they 'rise to the occasion' when there is something happening. However David does get exhausted even after an hour's simple conversation.

    TAKE CARE - hope you are feeling better soon. Beckyjan
     
  17. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    1,342
    Sometimes my mother would say "I wasn't asleep, I was listening to music in my head" (I hope it was good music to drown the noise of snoring), or "I'm going into my picture-world", a world where there were no words, only pictures.

    Lila
     
  18. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Lila

    I love the 'picture world'. We all need one to retreat to.

    Love,
     
  19. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Margarita, please clear your PM box. We love you.

    Hugs,
     
  20. Libby

    Libby Registered User

    May 20, 2006
    625
    North East
    HI Margarita

    I had a really emotional day last Friday - a few things had got to me, and I ended up ringing work to say I wasn't going in, then spent the entire morning crying?! I'm told that I hold things in too much, and probably felt able to cry cos I was in the house on my own.

    It was really over something quite small really, but I felt so much better for it.

    We definately all need a good cry now and again.

    Libs
     

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